“I cannot last much longer. You are so sweet.” Christus began to pant, his movements coming hard and fast. I felt a stab of disappointment—I did not want this to end, as it would when he spilled his seed inside of me.
I felt his body tense against mine, braced myself for the thrust that would signal his climax. Instead I found hard strokes feathered over my clitoris rapidly, and an extra pressure in my ass as he moved his finger deeper.
The explosion came, the release of that nearly unbearable tension that had been gathering within me. Taken off guard and not having a clue what was happening to me, I screamed, stifling the noise in Christus’ neck. My flesh continued to spasm, rolling waves of pleasure warming me as he nipped at my neck and came to his own release.
I found myself clinging to his neck as the storm calmed, small whimpers escaping my lips. I came to my senses, becoming aware of my surroundings in a huge rush, again clapping my hand over my mouth, terrified that my screams had echoed through the ludus.
Christus was staring at me, his breath coming short and hard. Slowly he removed his fingers from my flesh, letting my legs loosen around his waist.
I felt my lip tremble inexplicably. No, not inexplicably—I would never admit it, but the sensation that had just rocked my body had terrified me.
“You truly have never . . .” Christus’ voice trailed off as he stared at me in wonder, his hand lifting to stroke my cheek, as if I was something precious, something to be treasured.
I stiffened a bit, again unsure of how I felt about the gentleness. I knew what he was speaking of, of course, but was not sure what words to use.
“I . . . I have never been touched with . . .” I could not use the word “gentleness,” for Christus had not been gentle with me. “Caring. I have never before been touched with caring.” I cast my eyes down, fixed them on the water that was still rippling around us.
In truth, I had not known that such an explosion of pleasure was possible for a woman. An innocent in matters of the flesh when I was sold to the ludus, I had never experienced a touch that did not sicken me. There were no other females around to tell me such things either, unless one were to count the whores who traipsed in and out at times.
I looked up again to find Christus still staring at me, but now his wonder was tinged with anger. I knew, instinctively I knew, that it was not anger directed at me.
“I should have been more gentle.” His voice was rough, and I blinked at the sternness in his tone.
“No.” I was quick to correct him, shaking my head from side to side widely. “No. I could not have borne it. I am not weak. This was perfect.” He did not look convinced, so I sighed, buried my embarrassment, and continued.
“I knew, of course, that a man will . . . climax. I just have never had occasion to discover that a woman can, as well.” Mortified, I was certain that he would be revolted by my naiveté.
Instead his eyes were heated, and I felt him incredibly begin to thicken inside of me once more.
“I am honored to be the first to bring you pleasure.” He shifted his hips slightly, and I very nearly slid back down the length of him, eager to re-create the moment that had shattered me only minutes before.
I could not. I had allowed myself one time, one time to taste the pleasure that Christus offered me, knowing that my safety would not be intruded upon.
The danger of discovery had me pushing him away and putting space between the flesh that was still heated.
“I cannot do this again. I cannot have this discovered.” The muscles of my arms flexed as I lifted myself from the tub, swinging out and over the side. I winced when I landed, the pressure on my injured ankle having eased, but still not completely gone.
Bending to retrieve the wet leather of my top and the discarded wrap for my bottom, I looked back up to find Christus watching me with narrowed eyes.
“Have you thought that, by letting someone in, you will be stronger than you are alone?”
I shook my head before even considering the words, wrapping the leather about me with brisk, practiced motions. As I covered my flesh, I felt the soft sensations of the last hour being swallowed down, buried inside of me. I felt my defenses again rise, felt the difficult yet strong person who was Lilia the gladiator smother everything else.
“I cannot trust anyone but myself.” I bit down on the regret that I felt as hard as I could, instead focusing on tying the knot of my subligaculum. I nodded once, briskly, before padding across the floor, dust clinging to my wet, bare feet.
I was nearly to the door of the cavernous room when his words rang out, muffled by the steam yet clear enough.
“You are not alone anymore. You had best accept it.”