“No one doubts your ferocity, my lady. Yet with your presence here, among these beasts, you tempt the gods.” Though he did not touch me, his words felt like a brand, searing into my skin. Unable to contain myself any longer, I turned at his words, raised a brow in a show of defiance that I did not truly feel.
I did not like it when he called me “lady.” Or perhaps I liked it too much.
“Should I be afraid, gladiator? Am I not safe with you in this ludus, and in my chambers?” Darius had asked some questions after the debacle of the previous day. While he had not been champion at his former ludus, Christus had nonetheless earned a reputation as a vicious fighter and, perhaps even more terrifying, an honorable one. He played by the rules, even when his opponents did not, and I knew that it was but a matter of time before he clashed with Bavarius and his crew.
I knew, or rather strongly suspected, that I was safe with him. But I did not need protection, not even when it was freely offered.
I said none of this to Christus, who still stood at my side. From across the ring I saw Darius pause in his drills, his ebony skin gleaming in the early morning sun. He cocked his head at me, querying to see if I was all right. I nodded once, brusquely, and with a scowl at Christus, my friend leapt back into the fray.
At my side, Christus was silent for a long moment before he spoke, that dark, decadent voice hanging heavy in the air.
“You are always safe by my side, my lady.” I ground my teeth together as he used the endearment yet again. I was not a lady—could never be a lady, not in this life. I also did not miss the small inflection that he gave to the word “my,” but I chose to ignore it.
He was feeling protective of me for reasons that I did not fully understand, but I could not have it. I could not look weak. I opened my mouth to tell him so, but he was not finished speaking.
“However, beauty such as yours tempts a man, and these men are less civilized than most. Why do you not choose a position upstairs, away from these brutes? If these men decide as one that they will have you, then I cannot hold them back.”
Goaded now beyond reason, I turned and shoved at the man. He stumbled backward in surprise, but righted himself before looking down at me with a mix of curiosity and caution in his face.
Caution. Good. He should be afraid of me, female or not.
Everyone should.
“The men have decided as one that they will have me. Some did not survive. The others now know better.” Slowly I advanced on Christus, my hand at the wooden training sword on my hip. He held his ground, but his eyes began to spark dangerously. “I am well aware that the mere fact that I possess a cunt is tempting for these bastards. Down here, I can fight back. I can defend my own honor, and all that you have managed to do since arriving is to demonstrate to the others that I need help doing so.”
My teeth were bared now, and I spoke with conviction. How dare this man, the same one who had ruined my unyielding reputation with a few well-meant but careless words, patronize me? He was strong, but so was I, and I would not hesitate to challenge him.
I glared up at him, ready to pounce, daring him to move the wrong way, to add that last bit of fuel to the fire of my anger. But as he stood his ground, looking like he might bite me back if I struck, I felt that same lust that had been dogging me since I had first set eyes on him, washing over me.
Lust was a sensation that I could not allow myself to feel. But it was so rare to have a man see me as a woman and recognize my strength at the same time. The very fact that he was not backing down from this challenge spoke of his own strength, and did funny things to my insides.
It had been years since I had met a man whose will seemed even stronger than my own. It enticed me.
Christus said nothing, though I saw the muscle in his jaw twitch. Good, I thought. Some of my words had to be getting through.
“I know that you mean well.” I could not help but soften toward him, just a bit. He was so clearly confused about why I did not wish to be protected. “But I would be in worse straits if I were to serve upstairs, as you so helpfully suggest. Have you no idea of what happens to house slaves, no matter how valued they are in the household?”
Christus opened his mouth to speak, but I continued, determined to make my point. Perhaps if he understood just what he was doing to me, he would stop interfering.
“If a regular slave’s dominus or domina wants them, they have no say. If a visiting patrician wants them, they have no say. They are used as entertainment at parties, used to satisfy the rich man’s every whim. And they cannot fight back.”
A storm of some sort began to brew in the depths of Christus’ eyes. I saw that my words were affecting him, saw from the corner of my eye that one or two of the other men had noticed our quarrel and were watching avidly.