It was that innocence that drew me to her. She didn't play games or use seduction to woo me. She said what she thought and meant what she said. No other woman had affected me this way before. I didn't want to lose her before I even had the chance to get to know her better.
A small nagging voice in my mind took that moment to remind me that I didn't plan on sticking around long enough to get to know anyone, but I ignored it and continued to scan the streets for signs of this girl who had already burrowed her way into my heart.
I thought about what Master Kyoung had said, that she and I were meant to be together. He'd always had a bit of a psychic bent, and I'd never known him to be wrong about anything. If he was right about her, then I had to fix this.
After circling the neighborhood for fifteen minutes, another kind of fear settled in my gut. I should have found her by now. She could be hurt.
A hum of magic buzzed through me as I brought my shifter powers to the surface. With heightened senses, magical and physical, I scanned the area, sifting through different scents and sounds and emotions, until the scent of rose perfume drifted into my car.
Her perfume.
I tracked the direction it came from and concentrated harder. A swell of fear blasted me, causing my heart to stop.
She was scared. Terrified. In danger.
And I might not make it in time.
NINE
Forget to Think
ROSE
O teach me how I should forget to think
— William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
TERROR FILLED ME, pulsing through me with each step I took. Some part of my brain acknowledged that my feet had frozen into ice cubes, and that as numb as they were, I'd never notice if I stepped on something sharp or dangerous until it was too late. But the more I thought about what I'd almost done, the smaller that part of my brain got.
I looked down at my bare hands, shocked and ashamed that I'd let my guard down like that. I could have killed him, wiped out his mind and soul with the fire burning in me. Its hunger consumed everything once given freedom, and I'd almost let it out tonight.
The burn of his kiss still lingered on my swollen lips. His scent clung to my skin. I craved him so much it scared me. I could never allow myself to lose control like that again.
Lights flickered off as the last of the businesses in this area closed. Bars would be open, and be warm. I could call Ocean and have her pick me up. I looked around, but didn't see anything that looked like a bar. In the distance, I saw lights from what I assumed was the Seattle Science Center, and the Space Needle filled the sky, even though it wasn't the tallest building in Seattle.
I walked toward that area, not sure how far away it was or if there would be any answers for me there, but not ready to face Derek after that kiss, and my embarrassing and hasty departure.
I'd run away from the guy.
Barefoot.
Only the sheer horror of my actions eclipsed the mortification I felt in that moment. He must hate me. Certainly, he'd never want to go out with me again, which was probably a good thing.
I'd have to find a new martial arts instructor, which sucked, but it was necessary. Whatever power he had over my heart and body had nearly undone me, and him. He didn't know the danger he was in being with me, and I could never tell him.
My whole life I'd lived under this curse that prevented me from getting too close to anyone.
I thought I could handle it, that I could live this way, until I met Derek.
I'd tried to convince myself that he wasn't really the man in my dreams, that I'd superimposed his face—and body—into my fantasies after meeting him, but I didn't believe my own lies.
And tonight I'd fallen under the spell of Derek so completely that I'd lost myself, and my dark gift had taken over and nearly devoured us both.
I failed to pay attention to where I was walking until I found myself by a beautiful fountain in a courtyard near the Seattle Science Center.
In anticipation of the holidays, lights shone down on the asphalt and projected a lightshow of snowflakes and colorful Christmas tree ornaments.
Walking through the lights, I made my way to the fountain and the large Christmas tree glowing with festive decorations.
Nothing appeared to be open, so I sat by the fountain and watched the light and water dance together in synchronicity.
As the fever of lust cooled, I considered at least a hundred better ways I could have handled that kiss rather than running off like a twit, shoeless and without my purse. I could have stayed and pulled away gently, citing inexperience and wanting to take it slow. It would have been true. I could have said I felt sick and needed to go home. That also would have been true, in a way.
Anything but what I'd done. And now look at the mess I was in.
Tears filled my eyes and trickled down my cheek and into the swirling water below me. If throwing coins into a fountain made wishes, what did the tears of a broken-hearted girl make?