Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage(73)

                She gave him a wary look. “No, Dev. What?”

                “I wouldn’t have gotten you pregnant.”

                * * *

                His words were like a punch to the chest. If she hadn’t gotten pregnant, he would still be the most eligible bachelor, living a carefree life and driving his career to new heights. “I know,” she said softly. “It changed everything, didn’t it?”

                “No, jaan. You misunderstand me.” He reached out and gathered her in his arms. She pressed her hands against his muscular chest and felt the solid beat of his heart. “I would have protected you better. I would have looked after you.”

                “That was my responsibility, not yours.” She should have been more careful but apparently she did not learn from her mistakes.

                “I disagree.” His expression was fierce and she watched the fire in his eyes. “I should never have allowed you to get pregnant. It was an oversight on my part. But I was glad you were carrying my child.”

                Her heart did a funny, slow flip. She knew he had been excited about the baby but she needed to hear that he didn’t regret it. “You always wanted a family.”

                “And I wanted you,” Dev said quietly. “I would have eventually asked you to marry me, but the baby moved up my timetable.”

                Her heart skipped a beat. “You would have married me even if I wasn’t carrying your baby?” That she did not believe. He was idealizing their affair. If she hadn’t been pregnant, he would have ended their affair to enter an arranged marriage with Shreya.

                “You gave me the one thing I never had,” Dev said as she brushed his finger along her cheek. “A home life. A world outside the film industry.”

                “You could have gotten that on your own,” she whispered as her throat tightened with emotion.

                His mouth lifted in a lopsided smile. “Not without your insistence.”

                She rested her forehead against his chest, unable to look at him. She felt shy. Uncertain. She had fought for him to have a life outside the office, but she didn’t feel like she had made any significant achievement. “You really don’t ask for much,” she muttered.

                “I asked for everything. And I got it.”

                And then I lost it.... The words hung above them unspoken. Dev rested his hand against the crown of her head.

                “You’re the one who didn’t ask for anything,” he pointed out.

                “That’s because I would ask for the impossible. What purpose would that serve?”

                “I can make anything happen.”

                She smiled at his arrogant statement. He was confident of his abilities but she knew there were some things even the great Dev Arjun couldn’t achieve. She wanted to ask for another chance. Try to save their marriage with no time limit. She wanted to stay but she knew nothing had changed. She couldn’t risk her future with a man who would strip her of her voice, her power and her financial independence, believing it was for her own good.

                “What do you want right now?” he whispered. “Ask and I will give it to you.”

                She wasn’t going to ask for the moon or the stars. She wasn’t going to ask for her heart’s desire when she knew it wasn’t going to happen. Instead she focused on what she could have for now.