Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage(66)

                Tina weakly closed her eyes. “I don’t know why I did that.”

                “I do.” She was rejecting his help again. Rejecting him. “You trust me when I tell you I didn’t have an affair with Shreya. You trust me enough to share your bed, your body. But when it comes to taking care of you, you can’t trust me at all.”

                “It was just a reaction,” she explained. “I wasn’t thinking about it.”

                That made it worse. Dev clenched his jaw as he fought back the rising tide of anger.

                “Go back to sleep, Tina,” he said wearily as he took a step away from the bed. “I’ll have Sandeep bring something up for you. He’ll check up on you throughout the day.”

                “Where are you going?”

                “Out.” Any other time, he would have thought she sounded like a wife. But he knew the concern wasn’t for him.

                “Dev?”

                There was something about her tone that pierced through his anger. Dev stopped at the bathroom door and looked over his shoulder. Her back was turned away from him. It was a familiar sight. “What is it, Tina?”

                There was a long pause before she spoke. “Would you...stay...with me? Please?” she asked. She said the words slowly, as if they were dragged out from her. “I want you to look after me. No one else.”

                It wasn’t true. She’d rather curl up in a dark corner alone than ask for help. Dev knew she was doing this for him. And yet she acted as if she expected he would reject her. What had he done to make her think that?

                “Yes, jaan,” he said as he walked to the bed. He didn’t feel victorious. He felt as if he was walking on eggshells. One wrong move or wrong word, and he could ruin everything. “I’m here for you.”

                * * *

                Hours later Dev set down his laptop computer and leaned back in his chair. He gave Tina an assessing look. “You are a terrible patient.”

                “So I’ve been told,” Tina said as she flipped through the movie magazine Dev had asked Sandeep to buy. She sat on the bed and wore her softest, most comfortable shalwar kameez. Her stomach didn’t hurt as much but her heart was heavy with regret. She couldn’t rid the memory of Dev’s stricken expression from this morning. She kept pushing him away when she really wanted him near. She didn’t know how to stop.

                “You don’t need to stay, Dev,” Tina said with a sigh as she tossed the magazine to the side. “I had some bad chaat, that’s all.”

                “You shouldn’t try to diagnose yourself,” Dev warned her. “You should have a doctor check you out.”

                “No, that’s not necessary.” She shivered at the thought. She had grown to hate the sight of surgical scrubs and white coats. “I’m fine. Why don’t you go watch cricket or something?”

                Dev propped his chin against his hand. He was in no hurry to go anywhere. “Why are you trying to get rid of me?”

                Tina leaned her head back against the stack of pillows behind her. “I already feel bad that you’re wasting your day in that chair staring at four walls.”

                “This is where I want to be,” he said softly.

                “I don’t know why,” Tina muttered.