“This is a problem,” she said in a hiss as the panic threatened to bubble and overflow. “I am never, ever getting pregnant again.”
His jaw snapped shut. “When did you decide this? You loved being pregnant and you couldn’t wait to meet our baby. You always wanted to be a mother. Remember how you wanted to have at least half a dozen?”
That was when she’d thought she was strong and healthy. When they first married, Tina had felt protected and invincible. Now she felt broken and weary. “I said that before I miscarried.”
Dev reached for her. “Next time—”
She jerked into a sitting position. “There will be no next time! I’m not going to go through that again.” Tina propped her forehead against the palm of her hand. “The loss, the pain...”
He sat up and cupped her shoulder with his large hand. “Just because you had a miscarriage, it doesn’t mean it will happen every time you get pregnant.”
But there were no guarantees. In fact, she was at a higher risk. She didn’t feel like she would be whole again and another loss would break her completely. “I’m not willing to take that chance.”
“If you’re pregnant, I will give you all the support you need,” Dev vowed. His voice was clear and confident. “This time I’ll put everything on hold so I can be with you every step of the way.”
“Be with me?” Her voice cracked. “How is that going to happen? We will be divorced by then.”
His harsh features darkened as he frowned. “Do you think I’m going to walk away from my child?” Dev asked coldly. “Our deal is off if you’re pregnant. If we have a baby, we are married forever.”
He wouldn’t grant her the divorce? No, no, no! She couldn’t stay married to him. He would take over her life again. She couldn’t let that happen. “No, that was never part of the agreement.”
“Circumstances change,” he said as he got out of bed. “It’s our agreement now.”
“I’m not staying with you, do you hear me?” Tina punched the mattress with her fist as the fear coiled tightly around her chest. “I can’t be married to a man who tries to control every aspect of my life because he thinks I’m incapable.”
“I thought you understood.” He rubbed his hands over his face and exhaled sharply. “I was trying to help you. And you can’t accept that I went through hell, too.”
“Hell? You want to talk about hell?”
Dev dropped his hands and she saw the pain etched into his face. Tina bit her lip and watched with fascination as he hooded his eyes. Had he kept it hidden from her all this time, or had she been so wrapped up in her own misery that she hadn’t noticed?
“When I say that I will be there for you and that I will care for you,” he said slowly, “it does not mean that I’m going to hold your hand and say all the right words. It means making tough decisions when you can’t make them for yourself. It means doing what is best for you even if it gives you the right to hate me.”
She went still. “What are you saying?”
“If you’re pregnant, I will do everything in my power to keep you here.” He placed his hands on his hips as he made his vow. “I will give you and the baby the best possible care. You will not work, leave this house or even leave this bed.”