Secrets of Paternity(21)

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"This doesn't seem totally lame to you? Hanging with the guy who, you know."

"I'm just grateful he's in our lives at the moment. I don't think I could've handled another threat alone."

"You shouldn't have handled the first one alone." Accusation was in his voice, but not bitterly so.

"I realize that now."

"I can take care of you, you know. Dad would want me to."

"I know. It's nice to have help, though, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "It's okay."

She patted his cheek. "I'll see you in the morning." She turned toward her room.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"From the look on your face earlier, I'm guessing you don't want me to date Venus."

Not now, Kevin, she wanted to say. Not now. "Five years is a big difference at your age."

His jaw twitched; his face flushed red. "She … she doesn't have any more, you know, experience … than I do."

The fact he revealed such personal information about himself, as well as  Venus, gave Caryn hope. She'd thought he'd stopped confiding in her. "I  like Venus, Kev. She's a sweet girl. Just don't be in a hurry."

"Emmaline said the same thing."

The more Caryn knew of James's mother, the more she liked her. "I know your dad gave you the sex talk-"

"And the protection talk. You don't need to. Really. We're not … there, Mom. We're just friends." He hurried away then.

She didn't know whether to feel relieved or happy. Both, she guessed.  She was going to have to let go of him. She could see he'd matured in  the past year in ways she hadn't recognized. Time to remember that he  was no longer a child, but fast becoming a man.

She put on her red flannel pajamas, yellow fleece robe and blue fuzzy  slippers then looked in the mirror. Nope. Nothing sexy about that look.  Her lipstick had faded away long ago. She hadn't replaced it and didn't  now. She found the letter from Paul and tucked it in her pocket.

Then she sat on her bed to wait until the rest of the household slept.



James knew he was cheating by taking a stack of the papers to his  bedroom instead of just going to sleep, but there was no way he would  fall asleep, at least not for long, not while there was a threat to  Caryn or Kevin.

The finances were complicated and not his forte. One of the ARC partners  was married to a CPA, also an investigator in the firm. James would  call first thing in the morning and see if she could fly up and take  over that aspect of the investigation, even though it was Saturday.  James was looking for anything unusual that jumped out at him. So far  all he knew for sure was that Paul made a lot of money for the work he  did, yet less than half went into the family bank accounts.

He piled the papers into stacks then carried them downstairs. On his way  back to his room he put an ear to Kevin's door. Nothing. No sound.  James had heard him talking earlier, probably on his cell phone to  Venus, even though it was after midnight.

James moved on to Caryn's door. Silence from there, too. He leaned  against the doorjamb, flattened his hand on the door. He liked having  them there, liked knowing there were people in the beds. He would've  liked it a whole lot more if Caryn had been sharing his room instead of  sleeping alone.

On a whim he turned the door handle and slipped inside. She hadn't  turned off the light in the adjoining bathroom, so he could see her on  top of her bed, curled into a ball at the foot, asleep. Even though she  wore a robe and slippers, she looked cold. And cute, like a teenager at a  slumber party, in her bright colors.

He debated what to do. Pull the quilt over her where she lay, or tuck  her in bed, where she would probably sleep better, all in all. One  action probably wouldn't wake her; the other probably would.                       
       
           



       

James watched her for a little while. She didn't look peaceful. Her  expression changed, as if acting out a dream, one filled with events  that made her frown. He wished he could stroke her hair, soothe her into  a better dream.

Deciding she would be pretty ticked that he was staring at her while she  slept, he folded back the bedding as far as he could without folding it  on top of her. From the bottom of the bed he lifted her.

"Shh," he said when she jolted awake and held up a fist. "It's just me. You fell asleep on top of the bed."

She relaxed slightly. "Oh."

"You looked cold." He set her down closer to the pillows, then bent to  take off her slippers, gave her feet a brief massage. He could feel her  staring at the top of his head and wished she would say something.  Anything.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

It wasn't what he'd had in mind, he thought with a half smile. He  probably should've been more specific in his request. He stood. "See you  in the … well, later."

"James, wait." She looked away then back again. "I had been trying to  stay awake so I could talk to you." She slipped her hand in her robe  pocket and pulled out an envelope. "After I found the letter you sent  Paul with your updated address and saw it had been sent to a private  mail service, I contacted them. There was one letter in his box that had  been there a long time. It was addressed to me, so they released it.  Apparently Paul hadn't given them a viable home address and had paid for  the box for two years. They'd been trying to figure out what to do with  it. Which is a long explanation for what I'm going to show you now.  Paul mailed this letter two days before he died."

James sat beside her on the bed. She got up and walked away, keeping her  back to him as he opened it and read the single page inside.

Dearest Car,



If you are reading this letter, I am no longer with you. I'm so sorry I  made a mess of everything. You shouldn't have to deal with it. I got in  too deep. Know that I love you and Kev more than life.



Love always,

Paul



James folded the note, replaced it in the envelope. He didn't wonder why  she hadn't shared the letter before. He knew why. "What's your take on  it?" James asked Caryn.

"He owed too much, and he couldn't pay. He figured they were about to do  harm. They probably knew he had insurance to cover the debt."

James waited.

"Or," she said, her voice shaking. "He ran away. Couldn't face what he'd done."

James came up behind her, slid his arms around her. Her body shook.  After a moment, she turned around and burrowed against him. He stroked  her hair, held her tight.

"We can't tell Kevin," she said, her voice strong and sure. "Not unless  we find out for sure. He has the right to know the truth-when we know  the truth. All right? I don't want him to think his father took the  coward's way out."

"Yes." The answer wouldn't change the investigation, nor how they ran it. "So, you've known this for how long?"

"Since the day before I staked out your house."

"Do you think he could've run away?"

"Everything inside me says no. But the letter … "

"Is ambiguous." He leaned back enough to frame her face. "It doesn't  change your mind, though, and make you believe as Kevin does, that  someone murdered him? If they knew about the insurance, that would be  motive enough."

"Either way it's awful. The police say it was an accident. I desperately want to believe that."

"The police didn't have this information. It might make a difference,"  he said, "depending on what the other facts are-something we won't know  until we have all the information."

"I know," she whispered.

"Anything else you're keeping from me?"

She shook her head. "That's it. I promise."

He tucked her close again. "Okay."

"I was too sheltered. Paul took care of everything. That's never going to happen again."

It sounded like a warning, one he didn't need. He understood she was a  changed woman from a year ago. Who wouldn't be under the same  circumstances? Truth was, he liked this woman. He wasn't too sure he  would've wanted someone who deferred to him about everything.

"I should go," he said.

She'd been up on tiptoe. He hadn't realized it until she let her heels  touch the floor, taking some of her height away. It swamped him with  tenderness, although he didn't know why. He held her hand as they walked  to the door. He kissed her lightly, briefly. She threw her arms around  him and dragged herself close.                       
       
           



       

He didn't make even token resistance but hauled her up and kissed her,  opening her mouth, finding her tongue, savoring her. He ran his hands  down her back, cupped her rear, brought her closer still, aligning their  hips, moving against her. She gasped. He kissed her deeper. She  groaned. He kissed her harder. She begged wordlessly. He shoved her robe  over her shoulders and put his mouth over her breast, the flannel  drying his mouth.