"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"
"This doesn't seem totally lame to you? Hanging with the guy who, you know."
"I'm just grateful he's in our lives at the moment. I don't think I could've handled another threat alone."
"You shouldn't have handled the first one alone." Accusation was in his voice, but not bitterly so.
"I realize that now."
"I can take care of you, you know. Dad would want me to."
"I know. It's nice to have help, though, don't you think?"
He shrugged. "It's okay."
She patted his cheek. "I'll see you in the morning." She turned toward her room.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"From the look on your face earlier, I'm guessing you don't want me to date Venus."
Not now, Kevin, she wanted to say. Not now. "Five years is a big difference at your age."
His jaw twitched; his face flushed red. "She … she doesn't have any more, you know, experience … than I do."
The fact he revealed such personal information about himself, as well as Venus, gave Caryn hope. She'd thought he'd stopped confiding in her. "I like Venus, Kev. She's a sweet girl. Just don't be in a hurry."
"Emmaline said the same thing."
The more Caryn knew of James's mother, the more she liked her. "I know your dad gave you the sex talk-"
"And the protection talk. You don't need to. Really. We're not … there, Mom. We're just friends." He hurried away then.
She didn't know whether to feel relieved or happy. Both, she guessed. She was going to have to let go of him. She could see he'd matured in the past year in ways she hadn't recognized. Time to remember that he was no longer a child, but fast becoming a man.
She put on her red flannel pajamas, yellow fleece robe and blue fuzzy slippers then looked in the mirror. Nope. Nothing sexy about that look. Her lipstick had faded away long ago. She hadn't replaced it and didn't now. She found the letter from Paul and tucked it in her pocket.
Then she sat on her bed to wait until the rest of the household slept.
James knew he was cheating by taking a stack of the papers to his bedroom instead of just going to sleep, but there was no way he would fall asleep, at least not for long, not while there was a threat to Caryn or Kevin.
The finances were complicated and not his forte. One of the ARC partners was married to a CPA, also an investigator in the firm. James would call first thing in the morning and see if she could fly up and take over that aspect of the investigation, even though it was Saturday. James was looking for anything unusual that jumped out at him. So far all he knew for sure was that Paul made a lot of money for the work he did, yet less than half went into the family bank accounts.
He piled the papers into stacks then carried them downstairs. On his way back to his room he put an ear to Kevin's door. Nothing. No sound. James had heard him talking earlier, probably on his cell phone to Venus, even though it was after midnight.
James moved on to Caryn's door. Silence from there, too. He leaned against the doorjamb, flattened his hand on the door. He liked having them there, liked knowing there were people in the beds. He would've liked it a whole lot more if Caryn had been sharing his room instead of sleeping alone.
On a whim he turned the door handle and slipped inside. She hadn't turned off the light in the adjoining bathroom, so he could see her on top of her bed, curled into a ball at the foot, asleep. Even though she wore a robe and slippers, she looked cold. And cute, like a teenager at a slumber party, in her bright colors.
He debated what to do. Pull the quilt over her where she lay, or tuck her in bed, where she would probably sleep better, all in all. One action probably wouldn't wake her; the other probably would.
James watched her for a little while. She didn't look peaceful. Her expression changed, as if acting out a dream, one filled with events that made her frown. He wished he could stroke her hair, soothe her into a better dream.
Deciding she would be pretty ticked that he was staring at her while she slept, he folded back the bedding as far as he could without folding it on top of her. From the bottom of the bed he lifted her.
"Shh," he said when she jolted awake and held up a fist. "It's just me. You fell asleep on top of the bed."
She relaxed slightly. "Oh."
"You looked cold." He set her down closer to the pillows, then bent to take off her slippers, gave her feet a brief massage. He could feel her staring at the top of his head and wished she would say something. Anything.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
It wasn't what he'd had in mind, he thought with a half smile. He probably should've been more specific in his request. He stood. "See you in the … well, later."
"James, wait." She looked away then back again. "I had been trying to stay awake so I could talk to you." She slipped her hand in her robe pocket and pulled out an envelope. "After I found the letter you sent Paul with your updated address and saw it had been sent to a private mail service, I contacted them. There was one letter in his box that had been there a long time. It was addressed to me, so they released it. Apparently Paul hadn't given them a viable home address and had paid for the box for two years. They'd been trying to figure out what to do with it. Which is a long explanation for what I'm going to show you now. Paul mailed this letter two days before he died."
James sat beside her on the bed. She got up and walked away, keeping her back to him as he opened it and read the single page inside.
Dearest Car,
If you are reading this letter, I am no longer with you. I'm so sorry I made a mess of everything. You shouldn't have to deal with it. I got in too deep. Know that I love you and Kev more than life.
Love always,
Paul
James folded the note, replaced it in the envelope. He didn't wonder why she hadn't shared the letter before. He knew why. "What's your take on it?" James asked Caryn.
"He owed too much, and he couldn't pay. He figured they were about to do harm. They probably knew he had insurance to cover the debt."
James waited.
"Or," she said, her voice shaking. "He ran away. Couldn't face what he'd done."
James came up behind her, slid his arms around her. Her body shook. After a moment, she turned around and burrowed against him. He stroked her hair, held her tight.
"We can't tell Kevin," she said, her voice strong and sure. "Not unless we find out for sure. He has the right to know the truth-when we know the truth. All right? I don't want him to think his father took the coward's way out."
"Yes." The answer wouldn't change the investigation, nor how they ran it. "So, you've known this for how long?"
"Since the day before I staked out your house."
"Do you think he could've run away?"
"Everything inside me says no. But the letter … "
"Is ambiguous." He leaned back enough to frame her face. "It doesn't change your mind, though, and make you believe as Kevin does, that someone murdered him? If they knew about the insurance, that would be motive enough."
"Either way it's awful. The police say it was an accident. I desperately want to believe that."
"The police didn't have this information. It might make a difference," he said, "depending on what the other facts are-something we won't know until we have all the information."
"I know," she whispered.
"Anything else you're keeping from me?"
She shook her head. "That's it. I promise."
He tucked her close again. "Okay."
"I was too sheltered. Paul took care of everything. That's never going to happen again."
It sounded like a warning, one he didn't need. He understood she was a changed woman from a year ago. Who wouldn't be under the same circumstances? Truth was, he liked this woman. He wasn't too sure he would've wanted someone who deferred to him about everything.
"I should go," he said.
She'd been up on tiptoe. He hadn't realized it until she let her heels touch the floor, taking some of her height away. It swamped him with tenderness, although he didn't know why. He held her hand as they walked to the door. He kissed her lightly, briefly. She threw her arms around him and dragged herself close.
He didn't make even token resistance but hauled her up and kissed her, opening her mouth, finding her tongue, savoring her. He ran his hands down her back, cupped her rear, brought her closer still, aligning their hips, moving against her. She gasped. He kissed her deeper. She groaned. He kissed her harder. She begged wordlessly. He shoved her robe over her shoulders and put his mouth over her breast, the flannel drying his mouth.