She nodded. He appreciated that she didn't discount the attraction, especially since it sat there between them like a curious creature out of a vivid dream.
"Why'd you do it?" she asked.
"Do what?"
"Agree to the artificial insemination."
The reason flashed like lightning in James's mind, but he doused it. "That's a story for another day, I think. Kevin is waiting for you."
"Now you have me curious, James."
"My friends call me Jamey. You're welcome to, if you want."
"You're ducking the issue."
"I'd rather tell you when we have more time." He opened the front door for her. "How much busywork are you giving Kevin by having him go through Paul's papers?"
"Depends how fast he works. There's actually quite a bit. Maybe I can get him to organize and file it, which is something I haven't gotten around to doing."
"Are you sure he won't find anything that would link Paul to the gambling? Something Kevin might go off on his own about, thinking he was taking care of business?"
She frowned. "No, I'm not sure. But I will emphasize to him that he needs to share whatever he finds."
"Even though we won't be?"
"I know it's not fair, but his safety is more important."
"I agree. But I also think we can tell him the truth and still keep him safe."
"Maybe. We'll talk about it." She put out her hand. "Thank you."
He clasped her hand with both of his. "My pleasure."
"You took my deceit better than I would've expected."
"I understand your motivation." He liked the feel of her hand in his, the delicate bones and not-too-soft skin. Her nails, he'd noted before, were short and clean, unpolished.
Neither of them let go. She met his gaze.
"You can trust me, Caryn."
"I do. You can trust me, as well."
"I know that."
She seemed about to say something else, then pulled her hand free. "We'll be in touch?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Bye."
He didn't watch her walk down the stairs, thinking it might make her uncomfortable. Instead he shut the door and went to the living room window, staying far enough back that she couldn't see him. When she got to her car she looked up and stared at the house for several long seconds. Something hot and vital detonated inside him. Dangerous. She was dangerous. No one had upset his equilibrium as she had, not with a look, a small touch … and a huge connection, he added, acknowledging the most important issue-Kevin.
James should keep his distance from Caryn, deal mostly with Kevin, if he could, and build that relationship without his mother being a part of the day-to-day contact. It would be too strange for them to take this relationship to a place of impossibility. How could they have more than the sharing of a child?
They couldn't. James wanted marriage and children. How could that include Caryn? And what about Kevin?
Overnight, James's life had changed irrevocably. There was no vague wife-and-children dream now, but a reality far different. Real people. Real dilemmas. The potential for hurt.
He would make no quick decisions.
Six
The next morning at the GGC, the breakfast crowd had dwindled to a few lingerers. In an hour the lunch patrons would start trickling in. Caryn came up beside Venus in the dining room and said quietly, "Table six is wondering where their juice is."
"Oh, shoot. Mind like a sieve," she said, rolling her eyes, grinning, then strolling toward the juice station.
Caryn bit off a sigh. Even after a month of training, Venus made beginner mistakes. Problem was, the mostly male customers couldn't care less. She would rectify the situation, bat her long-lashed hazel eyes, apologize sweetly and walk away, her hips swaying hypnotically, guaranteeing herself a full tip, if not higher than average-helped along perhaps, by the low-cut blouse that showed off the assets Kevin usually focused on when she was around. She packed a punch, Venus Johnson.
But it was impossible to dislike or resent her. Genuine, sweet, and sincerely intent on learning her job, she was unfortunately also without the skill to do it well. Yet no one on staff breathed a word about her being let go for incompetence, not even the manager, Rafael, who groused about everyone's work, even when they were doing a good job.
Caryn wondered if Venus would go through life forever having allowances made for her. At least she followed the rules of no fraternizing with the club members. Too bad those rules didn't apply to children of employees, Caryn thought. She was afraid Kevin would get his heart broken if Venus didn't stop being so attentive to him. He'd been in college for two months without showing an interest in a particular girl, even though he'd never had trouble finding dates. She'd fielded calls from giggling girls since he was in fifth grade.
"Mom."
Startled, Caryn turned around to find Kevin behind her. She looked around for the manager. "What are you doing here? You know I can't have visitors."
"Chill. Rafael said it was okay."
"You're kidding."
"Nope. He said you could take fifteen minutes." Kevin wasn't looking at her as he spoke but at Venus, who spotted him from across the dining room and waved. She headed to the beverage station, smiling, her blond curls bouncing.
Caryn noted the faint flush on Kevin's cheeks as Venus gave him a quick hug. Since Caryn was dealing with an infatuation of her own, she sympathized with Kevin as he struggled to find words.
"Did you come to see me?" Venus asked.
"No, well, I, um, came for … "
"Me," Caryn said. "And I've only got fifteen minutes. Can you watch table eleven for me, please? I think they're good for a little while, but if they want their check, let me know. We'll be in the break room."
"Sure. I was hoping I could stop by after work," Venus said, a hopeful lilt to her voice. "Maybe I'll see you then, Kevin?"
"I'm not sure. Got some stuff goin' on."
Kevin usually changed plans to be around whenever he knew Venus planned to stop by. Maybe his interest in her was waning? A silver lining to this investigation?
"Let's go," she said to her son, guiding him away. They reached the break room, a meager space not designed for comfort but for grabbing a quick bite to eat, putting your dog-tired feet up for a couple of minutes then returning to the floor refreshed, if such a thing were possible. "What's up?" she asked as they sat on the vinyl sofa. "Why aren't you in class?"
Kevin frowned. "It's Wednesday."
Oh. Right. He didn't go to school until 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday. Considering he'd been up most of the night going through the boxes of Paul's paperwork, she would've expected him to still be sleeping.
"Mr. … He called," he said.
Caryn didn't know whether the twinge in her midsection came from thoughts of James and how he'd touched her a couple of times yesterday-or if she was jealous that James had contacted Kevin and not her.
"What'd he say?"
"He wants me to meet his mother today."
"Today?"
"Fast, huh? Mom, what do I say to her?"
"I think you can count on James to guide the conversation. He will have told his mother everything in advance, I'm sure, not just drop in on her with you as a surprise."
"I know, but it's … weird. This whole thing is weird."
Tell me about it. Caryn wasn't sure how she felt about Kevin meeting the woman. What if their extraordinary relationship withered after they'd taken the investigation into Paul's death as far as they could? Was it fair to any of them to foster a connection with a grandparent, a loose term in this instance, when they didn't know how everything would turn out?
On the other hand, Caryn understood the woman's loneliness and depression after her husband's death. If Caryn hadn't had Kevin, she might have stayed in bed many, many days.
"James is doing us a favor," she said to her son. "It seemed really important to him. You, of all people, understand how hard her life must've been this past year."
"I know, Mom. I do. But, like, what do I say?"
"You make small talk. You answer questions. You ask her some questions, too. No one expects you to like each other instantly. It's going to seem awkward to her, too."
"Would you come? Please?"
She wanted to say yes, especially since he asked, and she was, in fact, a little miffed that James hadn't asked her. But the fact was she hadn't been invited, period. "If he'd wanted me there, he would've asked me. When are you meeting him?"