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Secrets in the Marriage Bed(18)

By:Nalini Singh

"Do you want to grab something and go sit on the beach?" Caleb asked.She  looked across the road to the park abutting the sandy beach. "Sounds  good. It's not too cold." Dressed in jeans and a thick, cable-knit  sweater in sky-blue, she wasn't feeling the chill wind cutting off the  sea.

Caleb pulled out the car keys from his jeans. "Why don't you go get the  picnic thing you put in the trunk and I'll grab something. Meet you over  there." He pointed to a sunny spot. "Any preferences?"

"You choose." Taking the keys, she paused for an instant, then stood on  tiptoe and quickly kissed him on the mouth before walking away. Such a  small action but something she'd never have done before, believing  public gestures of affection to be "inappropriate." Sometimes, she hated  her grandmother, but she didn't want to think about that today.

Reaching the place where they'd parked the car, she opened the trunk and  grabbed the picnic set she'd put in there months ago in the vain hope  that Caleb would get the hint. That he'd remembered was a very good  sign, she thought, locking the car. The small basket contained plates,  eating utensils and a thin blanket to sit on.                       
       
           



       

She got to the beach before Caleb, her mind on the last time they'd done  this. It had been the weekend after he'd won a big case three years  ago. With a smile, she remembered him completely burning everything on  the barbeque because she'd distracted him with her tiny, flame-red  bikini-it had taken her hours to work up the nerve to expose the outfit  he'd teasingly bought for her months before. They'd ended up eating  meatless burgers because the isolated beach they'd gone to was too far  from any shops. And for once, she'd known she'd pleased her husband.

Flicking out the blanket, she sat and put the basket on one edge to keep  it from lifting in the soft breeze. As she waited for him to arrive,  she people-watched. From the inline skaters on the sidewalks to the  families in the park, the area bubbled with energy.

One mother was throwing a ball to her laughing toddler, both of them  wildly amused by the child's antics. Vicki found herself grinning along  with them until her eyes fell on the man she guessed to be the father.  He was sitting nearby but with a cell phone to his ear and an open  briefcase beside him. Now and then, the woman would look over at him as  if inviting him to join in the fun but he seemed barely aware of her or  the child's presence.

A shadow fell across the blanket and a second later Caleb joined her,  holding a pizza carton, cans of soda and what looked to be a  foil-wrapped loaf of garlic bread. "What's got you so interested?" he  asked.

"Nothing." She looked away but he'd already followed her gaze. Neither  of them said anything as she opened the pizza box, propping the lid to  keep the breeze from blowing sand into it. While she unwrapped the  garlic bread, Caleb popped the cans of soda.

They'd both started to eat when Caleb spoke again. "Is that what you're afraid will happen with us?"

She couldn't be anything but honest. "Yes. But you're trying, honey, I know. I mean, we have this whole weekend."

"One weekend in a couple of months isn't going to cut it, is it, Vicki?"  Those clear hazel eyes were so intense she felt as if he could see into  her soul.

"A young child like the one over there might not notice so much," she  said quietly. If he was willing to talk about this, she couldn't back  away. "But a child who's going to school, who's playing on the soccer or  hockey team definitely will."

Putting another slice of pizza on his plate, she took a sip of soda  before admitting something so painful she preferred not to think about  it. "I missed my parents every single day that they weren't there. I  wasn't much into sports but I used to play the flute in the school  orchestra."

She let herself remember the fading notes of memory, let herself  remember the girl who'd looked out into the audience with such hope  every single time. There was so much she still couldn't bear to face,  but for the sake of their unborn child, she'd confront this particular  hurt.

"Once in a while, we'd stage a concert. Grandmother would attend but she  wasn't like the moms and dads who came with their video cameras, ready  to record every moment, embarrassing their kids but showing them they  were loved.

"She came so it couldn't be said that Ada Wentworth was neglecting her  grandchild." She reached out to touch Caleb's cheek in a fleeting  caress. "I don't want our child to feel like that, like an obligation. I  don't want her to think that you're only in the audience because I  forced you to come, that you'd much rather be at work doing something  important."

Caleb put down his plate and linked his hand with hers, pulling her to  sit close beside him. His face was turned toward the sea but she knew he  was concentrating very hard on her words. "Work is part of who I am,"  he said. "I could never sideline it totally."

"I know that." She wished she understood why it was so important to him  to keep striving to be better than the best. She knew it had something  to do with his family but he'd always refused to talk about that part of  his past. All she knew was that he had something to prove and he'd let  no one stand in the way of that goal. Not even his wife.

Beaten by his stubborn will, she'd never pursued the issue but perhaps  the time had nearly come-it was no longer her happiness alone on the  line. "I don't expect you to push your work aside. All I want is for you  to make room in your life for our child. Real room, not a moment here  and there."

He didn't say anything else, but he'd listened. And while it wasn't enough, it was a start.                       
       
           



       





The sensual awakening that had begun on Friday night continued to  develop throughout the weekend. It wasn't so much the physical pleasure  they learned to give each other that was so important, but the emotions  driving their desire to please each other. This time, they were  determined to get it right. In bed and out of it.The only sour note came  as they were about to have coffee after dinner on Sunday night. Feeling  supremely relaxed from the workout her husband had given her mere hours  before, Vicki was smiling as Caleb went to pick up the phone.

A second after he answered, her smile disappeared. "Yes, Lara, of course it's me."

She put down the sugar bowl and walked over to join him. Touching his  shoulder, she held out her hand for the phone. His gaze met hers and he  shook his head. She knew why. Lara was probably going on and on and he  didn't want to stress Vicki out.

His need to protect her didn't frustrate her, not now that she'd learned  to stand up for herself when necessary. It had become a cherished gift,  a sign that she was important to him.

Without warning, she grabbed the phone out of his hand and put it to her  ear, slapping a palm on his chest to hold him off. Lara was in  mid-rant. "Lara, this is Vicki."

A pause. "Why are you on the phone? Where's Caleb?"

"He wanted me to tell you the happy news." Vicki was furious at Lara for  destroying their weekend, her temper hanging on by a very thin thread.

"What?"

She scowled up at Caleb when he tried to reach over her to get the  phone. "I'm pregnant. Isn't that wonderful?" Caleb raised an eyebrow at  her tone, no longer attempting to snatch the receiver.

Another pause, and Vicki had the impression Lara was conveying the news  to someone else. "Congratulations. Did you just find out?"

"No. We've known for a while."

"Thanks for telling us." Sarcastic.

Vicki smiled and made her tone so sweet, it was this side of  cutting-she'd learned the rules of polite savagery from the best. "The  thing is, Lara, you never ask about us when you call so we don't get the  chance to share our news."

A small pause, as though Lara were deciding if her usually well-mannered  sister-in-law was being bitchy. "Look, give the phone back to Caleb."

"I'm afraid he's unavailable." She leaned against him and wrapped one  arm around his waist. His fingers started to play with the strands of  her unbound hair, a silent statement that the call was now in her hands.

Buoyed by his support, she continued, "He's busy earning money to  support our child. We really have to start saving for college from the  start, don't you think?" A very long pause and in the background, harsh  whispers. Her fingers tightened on the receiver. She knew exactly who  was prompting Lara.

"He's my brother." The subtlest of threats.

"And he's the father of my child," she said softly, letting herself  luxuriate in the feeling of something she'd barely dared to acknowledge  before-Caleb's loyalty was hers, now and for always.