Secretly Mated(23)

She turned to face Owyn. The bill of his ball cap fell so low she could only see his bottom eyelids. This was new, she gathered, by the way people had commented on it.

“I noticed you up here,” he said quickly. “Just thought I’d check.”

He backed away slowly as if he thought she’d seen him as a threat. He must’ve noticed the way she trembled.

“Stay,” she blurted, and he froze. “We should talk.”

After a moment, he came to stand beside her, his hands hanging over the rail casually. They both stared at the water instead of each other.

“Nobody knows about us, do they? About what we are?”

“No.”

“Not even Magic?”

Owyn hesitated. “I couldn’t tell him. No one needs to know but us.”

Christina stared at her hands. They fluttered like leaves and her cougar purred inside, urging her to act on instinct.

She hated being ruled by her cat. Despised it. Maybe this is how so many males of her kind felt too. Especially the ones like Owyn who needed to be noble.

“I’m sick,” she said.

He stiffened beside her. She could feel it even though they weren’t touching, the difference in the air.

No one knew why some shifters became ill if their mating wasn’t acted upon. But she had a suspicion that it had as much to do with the heart as the animal. Maybe if she could’ve hated Owyn, this wouldn’t have happened.

But she didn’t hate him. She respected him. She believed whatever came out of his mouth. And if he said he’d never hurt her, she took it to the bank.

“I want to mate.”

His head whipped around so fast she jumped. But she continued staring at the lake. She needed to get this out. Fast, before she lost her nerve.

“I want to mate you. I believe what you’ve told me, that you wouldn’t be an asshole to your female. I believe it all, and I want us to mate.”

His breathing changed, coming in ragged puffs, but he said nothing, continuing to stare at her. The moon moved, seconds ticked on, and Christina held her breath waiting for his answer.

“You don’t mean that,” he said finally.

“I do. I really do.”

She turned to find his gaze, peeking out from the brim of that damned hat. “We can’t,” he said. “We both took an oath. We’re part of the pact. We can’t just break it.”

She eyed him. “We can if nobody knows. If we keep it a secret.”

His eyes grew haunted, and Christina’s gaze fell to the tattoo on his neck.

“Secrets are bad, Doc. Secrets hurt people.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. She was a firm believer that what people don’t know can hurt them. And breaking a promise she’d made to her new family made her feel like the scum at the bottom of the riverbed. But this was her Hail Mary move. The only other thing to do was leave.

Mate or leave. Those were her choices. One left her feeling utterly bereft, the other felt all wrong.

“It’s my cougar,” she explained. “It’s making me ill. I don’t know what else to do.”

Understanding dawned in his gaze and he looked away.

“Maybe if I go, this could all be avoided.”

Owyn shook his head. “The clan needs you. You’ve become vital around here. And having a doctor on hand is good for business too.”

Silence settled between them, and Christina had another idea.

“My cougar wants you,” she said quietly. “But maybe another union   would temper the urges. If I took a lover like some of the others do—”

“No,” he snarled, making her flinch. He drew in a long breath, trying for a calmer tone, but it just came out sad. “No. Not that.”

As carefully as she could, she reminded him of the truth. “You must’ve known this would happen. That if we didn’t mate, we’d go about our lives as normal. With other people. How did you think this would go, Owyn?”

He sighed, removing his hat and running one hand through his hair in frustration before pulling it low over his face again. Christina waited while he paced a short path along the bridge. The muscles of his shoulders bunched with each step.

Finally, he came to a stop in front of her, his eyes meeting hers with that same determination she’d seen at Cleaver’s.

“There’s only one way to do this, Doc. Here’s the deal…”

***

Mine. My female. Mark her. Make her only mine.

The panther was losing his shit. And so was Owyn. But if Christina knew, she’d run so far away from Lake Haven none of them would ever see her again.

She wanted to mate him.

But only to appease her cat. As a cure for what ailed her. She felt safe asking for this because he’d feigned being aloof. Because he’d bought this damn hat and used it to cover up any soft expressions that leaked out. Because he’d been so careful to hide himself so he could keep her here.