Owyn finished chewing his bite.
“One of those gnarly bears probably.”
“Probably,” Doc agreed. “I wonder what those two are up to these days.”
“Still working at Cleaver’s I suspect.”
Silence danced between them as they ate. It was beautiful, like the lake when it was at peace. So simple and sweet, it sent a ribbon of contentment through her heart.
Owyn caught her gaze over their plates.
“Are you afraid of me now?”
His voice was so quiet, and his eyes so intimate, she felt exposed by his question. And the answer really seemed to matter to him. Like he was hanging onto the last spoken word and her response was the safety net he’d fall to when she answered.
“No,” she whispered, giving him the faintest smile. “I’m not afraid of you, Owyn.”
He let out the breath he was holding, his shoulders sagging like a weight had been lifted.
“Good,” he said softly. His tone made her insides tumble as he reached across the counter and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I meant what I told you that night. About never harming my female.”
The only time he’d been so gentle with her was when they were intimate. Every other encounter, they were just Doc and Owyn, clanmates. For the first time, she felt like more.
It was a dangerous thing to feel, but right now she couldn’t care. This moment seemed too important.
“I don’t like it when you’re away,” she murmured, unable to keep her feelings hidden when he was touching her like this.
“You don’t?”
Doc shook her head. “It makes me…” Her hand went to her stomach without thought, rubbing at the dull ache there. “It makes my animal uneasy when you’re gone. I feel lost.”
Some emotion flickered in Owyn’s eyes. “I feel the same way.”
She breathed another breath of relief. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he whispered, his gaze digging deep into hers. “I won’t go away anymore. Never worry about it again, Doc.”
She cocked her head. “But… you can’t do that.”
“Sure I can. Tana can visit here. And Renner and Ryan can take the jobs that are away.”
Doc forked another bite of her dinner. “I don’t think that’s the answer.”
“Then what is?”
“I don’t know,” she said, pausing to chew. “But you can’t alter your whole life because I can’t stomach this… this… whatever this is. Damn it, I’m stronger than this. I’m a big girl with the lacey panties to prove it. Sorry I mentioned it.”
“Don’t,” he gritted, and then gulped his drink. “Don’t say you’re sorry for feeling something.” His voice faded away to practically nothing. “Not when I’ve waited so long to hear it.”
Doc stared at him, but he was focused on his plate, gripping his fork so tight his knuckles were white.
“What does that mean exactly?”
It seemed like forever before he answered. “Promise you won’t run,” he whispered. “Promise if I tell you, if I show you all of me… you won’t run.”
The dread Doc felt earlier returned. Why would she run from him when she’d just confessed how hard it was to be apart?
Unless… unless she didn’t know him the way she thought she did. Maybe Owyn was different than the rest of the males in their clan. Maybe he’d decided he didn’t want monogamy anymore, and that’s what this dinner was about. Letting her down easy. Breaking their agreement honorably instead behind of her back. Not letting her go apparently, but letting her down.
Shit. The sick ache inside came back a hundredfold.
“I can’t promise that.” He lifted his troubled gaze to stare at her. “But I think it’s time we were both honest with each other. What’s this dinner about, Owyn?”
“I can’t tell you, Doc. For this to work, I have to show you.” He stood, pushing the stool back. “Are you finished eating?”
She couldn’t eat another bite even if she wanted to. “Yes.”
Coming around the counter, he held out his hand for her. “Leave your plate. I’ll clean it up later.”
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere special.”
Doc frowned up at him. “Owyn, I don’t think sex is a good idea right now.”
She took his hand and he pulled her to a stand, bringing her all the way against his chest.
“Would that be special?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and met his burning gaze. “For me, it is.”
There. The words were out there. She couldn’t be any more direct than that. What they had, meant something to her, and now he knew it.