“Kelsey.” Her bold profession of love left him dumbfounded.
“Last night I asked you, point-blank, if you’d ever consider marriage. You dodged the question, which gave me the answer. I don’t doubt that you care about me, but I know you don’t love me beyond reason, which is what I’m looking for, what I deserve, and what I hope I’ll find one day from the right someone. So unless something’s changed . . .” When he blinked without speaking, she said, “Didn’t think so.”
Before he found his voice, she climbed out from under the covers. As she went into her closet, he asked, “Where are you going?”
She returned holding his grandfather’s hat.
“It’s time to give this back.” Her glistening eyes belied the false smile she wore as she reached up to place his hat on his head. With a slight quake in her voice, she said, “Nothing has turned out as either of us planned, so it’s best if we say good-bye and close this chapter of our lives. A clean break so we can still be friends. Good friends.”
He pulled her close. “Princess, you’re breaking my heart. I don’t want to say good-bye, or just be your friend.” He kissed the top of her head. “Today has been the worst day. Let’s not make any big decisions.”
And then, because he needed to convince her and didn’t know any other way to express himself, he kissed her. He kissed her like his life depended on it, because at that moment, it felt like it did. When she responded, a bit of relief swept through him. But then she pushed him away.
“If you care about me at all, you’ll make this easier for me, not harder, Trip. Please. I lost everything today, so please let me at least save my dignity. In the long run, we both know this is the best decision.”
He didn’t realize he was crying until she raised her hand to wipe away the tear from the corner of his eye.
He’d let himself get close, but it wasn’t enough for her. She wanted everything. Yet this kick in the teeth proved it was smarter to withhold himself and his heart. Imagine the pain if he gave her everything and then she rejected him?
Trip couldn’t allow himself to be that vulnerable. He didn’t want to leave her alone that night, but he couldn’t risk staying. Staying might lead to exposing things he couldn’t retract.
If she wasn’t happy, he couldn’t force her to accept his vision of a perfect relationship any more than she could force him to accept hers.
He hugged her again, imprinting his body with the feel and smell of her. “Okay, princess. Whatever you want.”
She buried her face in his chest, and through a muffled cry, he heard her say, “Thank you.”
Chapter Nineteen
“Gunner, I’m sorry to hear about the baby.” Trip’s dad’s voice sounded almost as depressed as Trip felt. “Deb and I went through the same thing before we had Mason, so I know a bit about how you feel.”
His father meant well, but Trip didn’t want to discuss the miscarriage. Or Deb’s experience. “Thanks.”
“How’s Kelsey? Are you doing whatever she needs to help her get through it?”
Like any time he thought of Kelsey in the past twenty-four hours, his heart seemed to stop beating for a second or two, and then it wrung dry like an old dishrag.
“I suppose you could say that.” Trip couldn’t help the burst of sarcasm gilding his words.
“What’s that mean?”
Trip heaved a sigh, wishing he could hang up and disappear for a while. “She ended things. She asked me to walk away, so I did.”
His father huffed through the phone. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” Trip’s brows lowered. “I’m giving her what she wants.”
“Is that so?” His dad’s sarcasm now rivaled his own.
“Yes. I asked her to reconsider, but she wanted a clean break.”
Following a pronounced pause, his dad said, “It’s pretty clear to me our history—actually, your whole take on the past—is screwing up your ability to have a normal relationship with a woman.”
No shit. “Well, nothing you can do about it either way.”
“Maybe not.” His dad fell silent for a moment. “So tell me this, does Kelsey have anything to do with your latest request from your trust?”
Trip could lie, but for what purpose? “Partly. When I tanked Wade Kessler’s proposed development, Kelsey lost out on a major commission. Maybe I can’t give her everything she needs, but at least I can make sure she has the money she’d been counting on to expand her business. Plus, if I buy the land, I can control how it’s developed.”