“I don’t know.” Adrenaline pulsed through his veins, spreading tingling sensations throughout his limbs. He began pacing in a tight circle, shaking his hands out as if they were wet. “I got distracted because you were so busy kicking me out.” Immediately he regretted his snappy tone and halted for a second. “Sorry, I’m not . . . I’m . . . just ignore me.”
He didn’t want to make a distressing situation worse by saying the wrong thing, so he continued pacing in an effort to collect his scattered thoughts. When he finally managed to look her in the eyes, he noticed her shoulders were slumped.
“Based on the timing, it’s more likely that night we rolled the dice without condoms,” she reminded him, her soft voice dripping with guilt.
Trip closed his eyes.
He’d never before taken that risk, yet that night he’d let overwhelming desire defeat good sense. Not just desire. Need. He’d needed her comfort and kindness. Was that how things had unfolded between his own parents?
Did it matter? As he’d always feared, he was his father’s son.
“I can’t believe I’ve made the same mistake as my dad.” He shook his head at no one in particular. “Exactly what I’ve always wanted to avoid.”
“Mistake.” Her deadened tone alerted him that he’d stuck his big black boot in his mouth.
Sighing, he gave in to a moment of self-pity. “You know my history.”
Kelsey’s nostrils flared. “I don’t ever want this baby to feel like a mistake.”
“You think I do? I’ve spent twenty-plus years trying to outrun those very feelings myself. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, least of all my own child.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “My own child. Three words I never imagined saying.” Was this really happening? “You’re sure about this? Did a doctor confirm it?”
“I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon, but two home pregnancy tests came back positive.” She smoothed her hair again while small red patches bloomed on her cheeks. “Look, Trip, this isn’t how I envisioned starting my family—unmarried and pregnant! But I won’t pretend I’m not glad one of my dreams is coming true. Still, I know this is your worst nightmare, so I don’t expect anything from you. I just thought I owed you the truth.”
Her words stung like the snap of a wet towel against bare skin. Insulted, he bugged his eyes. “You think I’d ignore my child? That I’d let him hurt like I did? Not gonna happen as long as I’m walking this earth.”
He blew out a breath and looked around Kelsey’s perfectly decorated condo—a nice home for a child, unlike his apartment. Her soft, caring heart much more suited to parenting than his flawed one.
Hell. Before she’d gone to Mexico he’d botched his apology, and now he was making a hash out of this situation, too. “You must be sorry this kid is stuck with me as a dad, aren’t you?”
Kelsey sniffled, her eyes filling with tears, her chin trembling.
“Trust me, I’m no mother of the year. I’ve been drinking wine all month and just guzzled margaritas in Cabo before figuring out why I felt so sick.” Behind the wall of hair partially hiding her face, Trip saw tears trailing down her cheek. “I’ve probably already caused some kind of brain damage or something.”
Instinctively, he stepped forward and wrapped her in a bear hug. “You haven’t damaged anything, princess. And no baby could ask for a better mother. You’re warm and sweet, yet tough and sassy. You’ll be a great mom. Everything will be fine.”
He held her, his cheek resting on top of her head, and stroked her back. His entire sense of world order was crumbling around him, yet, in that moment, all he thought about was how he’d missed the curves of her body, the scent of her hair, her playful banter. He’d missed her. Now she nestled against his chest, calming his throbbing nerves, so he held on and just breathed in and out.
If he had known, when he first propositioned her, where things would lead, would he have gone for it? Probably not. He’d always resisted the idea of being tied down and making commitments. Funny how, right now, holding on to Kelsey was the only thing keeping him from losing his mind. He wanted her, and not just for sex.
“I’m so nervous.” Kelsey sniffled, wiping her tears against his shirt before snuggling tighter into his arms, seeking security, solace, or God knows what else. “Thinking about this baby and the future is scarier than I’d ever expected. So much to plan. So much to do. I don’t even know how to get started.”