"Fine." She buried her burning face against his bare chest. She'd never be able to look his partner in the eye again. They rested that way a few moments, with her listening to Nick's strong heartbeat.
"Speaking of which," he said, pulling back. "There's something we need to talk about."
"There's a lot we need to talk about." At least she hoped he would share a few things, like how he felt about her and whether he wanted a future with her.
"True, but the subject I had in mind was that we didn't use a condom that first time."
She held back a grin, loving how responsible he was being right now. And yes, the thought of pregnancy did scare her, but if it happened it wouldn't be the end of the world. Having unprotected sex had been her choice at that moment. It was the only choice she could make given how desperate she was and how they didn't have a condom. She'd take full responsibility for her actions.
"Don't worry about it," she said.
"Are you on the pill?"
"No."
He frowned. "Then why the hell shouldn't I worry?"
She shrugged, unable to believe how calm she felt over the whole issue. "Because I wouldn't mind…you know."
His eyes widened. "You want a baby?"
"I wouldn't be opposed to it."
"Hell." Nick drew in a sharp breath, feeling like a watermelon had lodged in his throat, his heartbeat speeding along. He was always so damned careful, and he'd never had a pregnancy scare.
But one thing was certain—he wanted more than scorching sex with Emily. He wanted a life with her. A future. He'd never wanted that with anyone before. He couldn't imagine ever getting tired of gazing into her beautiful blue eyes, whether wide-eyed with shock or almost closed with arousal.
He didn't know how to tell her what he felt. It was all too new and intense. But he had to try.
"Whatever's between us, Emily…it's strong. And I want it," he said, loving the sweet affection written clearly on her face. "I want us to be together. Every day, every night. It's not just the sex. It's a hell of a lot more. I haven't felt this before. Imagining being without you now is…gut-wrenching. I need you."
Huge tears welled and clung to her lashes. "I need you, too, Nick. And I want to be with you. Always."
Her tears spilled over, making his insides twist. He brushed the moisture away with his thumb. "Don't cry, baby. I want you to be happy."
"I am. And thankful." She pressed her face against his chest, her hot tears wetting his skin. "I was afraid you'd leave, go back to Atlanta and forget about me. Like maybe this was only some sort of strange fling for you."
"No. Hell, no. How could it be? Besides, I don't have strange flings."
He pushed her hair back and savored her smile. He'd much rather hear her laugh than cry.
"And from now on, no flings," he said. "You're the only woman I want."
"Truly?" Hope shone in her eyes.
"Of course. Don't you believe me?"
"Yes. I believe anything you say," she said with a complete and unconditional trust that clutched at his heart. "But there's something I don't fully understand—what took you so long?"
He loved her expression—a playful mixture of mischievous and reproachful. He lifted a brow, unsure if he could explain himself. Most men would've jumped her bones at the first opportunity, given how responsive she'd been, and easily aroused. But he'd never seen her as an easy lay. He'd always thought sex with her would mean something powerful and profound, and he'd been right.
"Well…first of all, the guilt," he said, unable to believe how quickly that sharp and bitter emotion had disappeared once he realized how deeply he needed and wanted her. It wasn't just physical lust. Considering how much he cared about her, there was no room for guilt. "And then, I knew that once I had you, I'd want to keep you. Once I crossed that line, I could never go back to fantasy. I'd have to have you every night and every day."
"Wow," she breathed, her eyes growing darker. "That's good. Because I want to keep you too. You can forget your playboy, womanizing ways. You're all mine and I'm not sharing."
Strangely, her possessiveness turned him on and made his heart beat faster. That had never happened before. He usually tried to escape clingy women ASAP, but Emily's words made him want to pin her to the mattress and show her exactly what it meant to be his.
But…a playboy? Was that how she saw him? He made a choking sound. "I don't have playboy, womanizing ways."
She narrowed her eyes. "I know you. I watched you, remember?"
"Okay, fine." She had a point. He'd been with a few women. He kissed her knuckles. "But you don't have to worry. Even when I was with other women over the past three years, I imagined all of them were you."