Secret Daddy(28)

I woke up the next morning to a knock on my door. I was on the verge of ignoring it when I realised it might be the drama group. I doubted George would give the consent now. I was going to have to tell them their plans of putting on his play were over for good. He wanted me to go back to the club with him. I couldn’t do that. It had been too good. It had shown me who I really was and that person scared me.

We all hide who we really are. Does anyone but us ever know who we really are? Deep inside? Well, I’d revealed who I really was in the club and it made me ashamed. I was a slut, I was a submissive whore, I was all those things that girls aren’t supposed to be. I was bad, I was naughty, I was his plaything. I couldn’t do it again. If I did, that part of me might refuse to go away and then I’d be vulnerable as I was with Darren.

He’d seen the submissive in me. He’d used that part of me to twist me to do his bidding, to manipulate me into becoming his slave more than anything. He’d beaten me for no reason other than to maintain his power over me. It had taken every ounce of my mental strength to leave him and I’d vowed never to make myself vulnerable again. I would be strong, I would be powerful, I would be in charge of my own life.

What did it say about me that the first chance I had, I’d submitted again? It told me I was in trouble if I didn’t stop it now, before it went too far. I would fall for George and he’d use me like Darren did. I could see my future as if it had already happened.

It was Joshua at the door again. “Are you all right?” he asked as I swung the door open. “You look awful.”

“I’m fine,” I snapped, wiping my face. “What do you want?”

“You’re not fine,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” I muttered into his shoulder but then the tears came again and I couldn’t stop them. He just waited until I was done before guiding me into the living room, sitting next to me on the sofa, his hand on top of mine.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing, I just had a bad night, last night, that’s all.”

“With George?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I…I saw the two of you driving off together.”

“Well, it didn’t go very well, that’s all.”

“Listen, Donna. Maybe we could go get a coffee and talk about it? Might make you feel better.”

“I appreciate the offer but I’m not really in the mood to go out.”

“Then we could stay in.” He shuffled closer to me, his hand still gripping mine. “It might help to talk.”

I wriggled away from him on the sofa. “I’m fine, thanks.”

He frowned. “What, am I not good enough because I haven’t killed anyone?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Every girl wants a bad boy. What’s wrong with me?”

I sighed. “Nothing, nothing’s wrong with you.”

“What is it then? Why don’t you like me?”

“I can’t have this conversation now, Joshua. I think it’s best you go.”

He stood up, scowling down at me. “Fine, I’ll go, sorry I tried to help.”

I watched him leave, the front door slamming shut a moment later. It opened again before I had time to get up and I shouted. “Go away, Joshua.”

“I’m not Joshua.”

I looked up and there was George standing in the hallway, tapping his watch.

“What are you doing here?”

“You’re supposed to be cleaning. It’s gone nine.”

“What? You expect me to come and clean after last night?”

“Do you expect to get paid?”

“You’re serious?”

“My car is outside. You’re in it in five minutes. Don’t dawdle.”

He walked off, leaving me with my mouth open. He had acted as if nothing had happened between us last night. I stood up, heading upstairs to change into my maid’s uniform. Part of me had wanted to tell him to get out of my house but I couldn’t do it. The touch of Joshua’s hand on mine had told me one important thing. I felt nothing at all for him. When George had touched me, my entire soul soared upwards. That was why I got changed, that was why I travelled to his house and that was why I saw the plans for the town development in his study when I was tidying in there while he chopped wood outside.





TWENTY-TWO



DONNA

He didn’t say a word on the drive up to his house. I felt more than ever like his little girl, as if I’d angered my Daddy and he was too cross to talk to me. When we arrived he climbed out of the car and unlocked the house, tapping his foot impatiently as I scurried after him. “You can clean the study today,” he said. “I’ll make the coffee.”