Secret Cravings(8)

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It had been a week and a half since Luke had set foot outside the apartment. His groceries were delivered, and this close to a photo shoot he couldn’t afford to eat out too often. The hidden calories and sodium would kill him. Sure, the pictures would be airbrushed to death, but he hated it when photographers complained about how fat the models were. Fat, my ass. The women are skin and bones. Ugh.

Burning the midnight oil with books and movies had kept him entertained for the last ten days. He was getting a bit bored, but he didn’t want to do the party circuit. Staring out at the park, Luke lay on his stomach next to the window. He peered down at the street, watching people scurry to their jobs.

He imagined what it would be like to be normal. What would his life entail? A nine-to-five job, or would he work in retail? Maybe he’d be a waiter, or work in a coffee shop, making drinks. He stood and looked down, wondering if he should go out and see what the real people of the world were doing.

As he watched the pedestrians down below, Luke started making up things that they might be saying and places they could be going. He grabbed a pair of binoculars to see them in more detail. One woman was talking on the phone as she marched down the street. He started a story in his head about a conversation she was having with her lover. Then another guy came into his field of view, walking with short strides. Luke created another story. After three more people he was getting tired of the game, but then a guy came into his field of vision, making Luke’s heart hammer and his ears ring. It couldn’t be, could it?

Luke adjusted the binoculars and watched as Bryan walked to a spot across the street from his building and looked up, shielding his eyes against the glare. Luke tossed the binoculars on the couch and pulled on his socks and shoes. He checked to make sure he was wearing decent clothes and raced to the elevator, and slammed into the wall, pressing the button to call the car. When the doors slid open, he got in and pushed the button for the ground floor.

Panic set in as the elevator made its way to ground level. Had he brushed his teeth in the last few hours? He cupped his hands in front of his face and blew, then sniffed. Not too bad. The doors slid open and he rushed out, ran through the lobby and out through the doors, without even waiting for the doorman to get them for him. He raced the half block up Sixty-Eighth Street towards Central Park.

Fifth Avenue was full of people and it had taken minutes for him to get downstairs. Bryan could be anywhere. Luke raced across the street, jumping out of the way of two cabs. He ran up a block with no luck, then raced the other way. Fuck! Bryan wasn’t anywhere out front. Luke’s shoulders sagged as he made his way back over to his building.

Enticing aromas wafted out of the bakery as he passed. God, he was so depressed that he actually thought of stopping in to grab some food. He was hungry, but eating carbohydrate-rich pastries this close to a modelling job would be stupid.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. The door opened behind him and he glanced over his shoulder. “Bryan?”

Bryan didn’t move until the door bumped him, then he skirted around Luke. They stared at each other for a long moment, and the air between them grew thick.

“I saw you from my window.” Luke wanted to reach out and touch Bryan, but there were so many people around and he didn’t know how the guy would react.

“I swear I’m not stalking you,” Bryan said.

“I’m just glad I saw you. You could have stopped by.”

“I didn’t know. I was thinking about it, but…you know. You want to grab some coffee?”

“Sure, make it tea and I’m in.”



They stepped back into the bakery, which was also a coffee shop. Bryan ordered an egg sandwich and coffee. Luke stuck to tea. They found seats at a small, round table where they sat close together.

Bryan didn’t want to admit all the reasons he was here. Part of him had wanted to see if Luke and Nichole had hooked up. He hadn’t heard from Nichole since Thursday and it was now Wednesday. She hadn’t called on Sunday and he guessed that had been her way of brushing him off. The other part of him had wanted to see Luke, because there was something about the guy that excited him. He’d never admit that he had woken up more than once with a huge boner while thinking of Luke. The first couple of times, he’d been so embarrassed, but now—every night—he dreamt of the guy.

“You’re not eating?” Bryan asked.

“No, I’m good.”

Luke eyed the food on the table. Bryan moved to take a bite and Luke didn’t take his eyes off the sandwich.

“You can have a bite if you want,” Bryan said.