Secret Cravings(24)

Of course, few people thought he had any problems. He was the cute one, the sexy one, the one on the billboard. ‘Who cares what’s inside? He’s there to look at. No more substance than a Twinkie, a filler for those needing eye-candy.’ Everyone who’d ever wanted a piece of him had thought he had no more depth than his photographs.

Luke forced himself to calm down before he did something stupid like blow up at a waitress—or worse, Bryan. How the hell had he got this far with Bryan? Okay, so they’d only known each other a few weeks and gone out a handful of times, but he’d actually listened to Bryan’s problems last night and he hadn’t flaked. Maybe he could change and be a caring person in a relationship?

“You want to go for a walk through the park?” Luke asked.

Bryan stared at him for a long moment. “Yeah, sounds good. I need to think about everything that happened last night. Walking with you will be good.”

A bubble of excitement built inside Luke. Bryan wanted to do stuff with him. Bryan stood, so Luke did too, wondering all the while when Bryan was going to tell him to get lost because he’d finally figured out Luke was useless. They pitched their trash in the bin and took off down the street towards Central Park. Two gay guys were holding hands in front of them. Luke wished he and Bryan had that type of relationship. The realisation struck him hard.

The jaded part of him wanted to dismiss any possibility of a future with Bryan. The guy was damaged goods, but Luke felt for him. Hell, he was beyond damaged too.

They walked down a tree-covered path with few people. Bryan reached out and grabbed Luke’s hand. The connection warmed Luke. He looked at their hands, then up at Bryan. His heart stuttered and his head swam with thoughts of a future and happiness.

“I’m afraid of what will happen if I choose to be with you.” Bryan didn’t look at him or slow down.

“You mean because someone will think you’re gay?”

“They’ll know. I mean, I saw your office. Pictures of you everywhere.”

“Hmmm, when did you sneak in there?” Luke asked.

“This morning.”

“What do you think?”

“You’re airbrushed in all of them.”

Luke stopped walking. His mouth fell open and he couldn’t breathe for a moment. “What?”

Bryan turned to face him. The sun splashed onto his face, bringing out the green in his eyes. Beautiful. “Oh, come on. You’re super-hot, but you are no less airbrushed than the ladies.”

A deep, stabbing pain centred in his heart. Bryan was the only person who had ever been real with him. He breathed in deeply, revelling in the hurt, wallowing in the anguish.

“I can’t believe you actually said that. To me!”

Bryan frowned and his cheeks turned pink. “I’m sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have said it.”

“Are you kidding me? No one is ever honest when they speak to me.”

“I don’t know how not to be honest,” Bryan said.

Luke pulled him into a tight hug, their foreheads touching. “Bryan, thank you. I need honest.” Luke pulled back, looking Bryan straight in the eyes. “Thank you for telling me the truth. You can’t believe the number of people who lie and say I’m perfect and I look better in person than in the pictures. I have flaws and I’m glad you said it like it is,” Luke babbled on, wishing he could shut up, play it cool—because the more real he got with Bryan, the harder it would be when Bryan said adios.

“Really? No one has ever told you the truth?”

“No. I’ve been modelling for so long, and now that I’m seen as one of the top models I guess no one wants to piss me off.”

“What about your relationships? Any exes tell you the truth?”

Luke took off walking, pulling Bryan along with him. He didn’t want to reveal how sad his life had become. He wasn’t a teenager—hell, he was into his mid-twenties, and he still hadn’t ever had a relationship that had lasted more than a few fucks or blow jobs.

Bryan tugged at Luke’s hand, stopping his progress. “I’ll take that as a no.”

Luke shook his head as sadness enveloped him. “No, no one is ever honest with me.”

“That’s sad.”

The emotional wall he’d perfected started to crumble. Bryan had hit upon the one theme Luke had tried desperately to ignore. His life was sad. Sure, everyone thought he had it made. He was the golden boy, but Bryan had seen through his false exterior. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be transparent anymore. Transparency hurt like hell.

They ditched the main path and came to an open field. Bryan put his hand on Luke’s shoulder and forced him to stop walking.