Second Chances(26)

"H...how did your Paige die?"

Now it was his turn to fall silent. Paige looked at him, his eyes seemed to glaze over and even though she was sitting opposite of him, still holding his hands, she knew he was gone. He was miles and years away from the small balcony they were on.

She waited as the minutes slipped by. She could tell he was in agony, reliving the event.

"I'm sorry," she finally murmured, truly regretting ever posing the question.

"I...I don't think I am ready to talk about it."

"I understand," she quickly responded.

"No. I don't think you do. It's been over a year. In a way I've come to grips with the situation, maybe not completely, but..."

"Yes?"

"You. I'm not exactly sure how you'll respond. I don't know that you are ready to hear it."

"Nathan, I'd react fine. I mean I am very sorry for your loss. Please believe that. However, I am not nor was I ever her and I did not know her. So while I have sympathy for what you have no doubt gone through over her death, it would not effect me the same."

He placed his hands together as if getting ready to pray and rested the tips of his index fingers against his chin. He closed his eyes and whether he actually did pray or only thought for a moment, Paige couldn't tell.

"Perhaps you're right. But perhaps you aren't and for the moment I would prefer not to answer that question. Is that okay?"

His words were spoken so softly, like a scolded child asking his mother for forgiveness. Paige's heart ached for the pain she heard trapped within his words.

"Sure. Whatever you want, but...sure."

"What? Another question?"

"Yes," Paige said. "But this one...God, I really do not want to do this to you."

"Go ahead, Paige. All I can say is no."

She nodded.

"Did you get to see her afterwards? Did...did you have to..."

She stopped, unable to finish.

"Identify the body?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"No."

"No, you don't want to answer or just no?"

"No, I did not have to identify her body."

"Is that why you think..."

"Dental records. They...they had to use dental records."





CHAPTER NINETEEN



Paige gasped. Of all the things that she had imagined Nathan might say, his reference to dental identification wasn't even on the list.

"Oh my God! Nathan, I am so sorry. I did not mean to...to..."

He shook his hand dismissing her apology, exactly what he meant by the gesture she couldn't tell.

Paige wasn't certain if she should continue. However, she knew that the longer she allowed Nathan to believe that she was his Paige, the more devastating it would be when she finally proved she wasn't.

"Doesn't that prove that I am not her? It must have been terrible. I cannot even begin to imagine what you went through. But are you telling me that you think the...the dental records were wrong?"

"No. I can honestly say I never doubted them. I doubted many things about your...about Paige's death, but in the past year I never truly doubted that it happened. I prayed it hadn't, dreamt it hadn't, but the truth is I never doubted that yo... that Paige was truly dead."

She was grateful that he hadn't said that he hadn't believed that she was dead. She knew he was struggling not to refer to her as his wife.

"I never doubted that until yesterday."

"Until you saw me in the airport?"

"Exactly."

"So now you think the dental records were wrong?"

"No," Nathan said. "Not wrong exactly. Just faked."

"Faked?"

"It's the only think that makes sense. I see you, you are right here before me. So obviously there is no way you died last year. So there is no way those dental records were real."

"And you think what?"

"I don't know. I am saying that those dental records being fake is the only thing that fits given the evidence I see right before my eyes. I don't have all the answers. Hell, I don't likely have any of them. All I am trying to do is figure out what all the evidence is telling me. I have memories of our time together. I have pictures of our wedding, our trips. I still have a house full of your belongings back in Connecticut. I'm not a detective, but I'm doing my best to piece together what I can."

"Where is Columbo when you need him?"

He smiled at her joke, but she knew it was forced.

"The evidence tells me that you...shit...Paige didn't die last year as I was lead to believe. You, her, whatever, are here right now and are very much alive."

Paige could see his frustration, his struggle to convince her he was right. Maybe trying to convince himself as well.

"No, Nathan. I did not die a year ago. I was in college. But Paige, your Paige, did die." She did her best to sound sure and yet compassionate. She did not want to betray to Nathan the millions of questions and doubts that were rushing within her. She didn't even want to admit them to herself.