Second Chances(113)

"Better?"

She shrugged.

"You aren't going to...you know."

"I'm not? How can you be sure? How can she be sure? All those news articles. I am sure those Paiges' didn't think they were going to...going to do what they did."

"I just know."

"Did you think your Paige was going to kill herself?"

She immediately regretted her words. She watched Nathan stumble back a step as if physically struck.

"You aren't going to," he said again, but this time it was only a whisper.

"I wish I was so certain. I don't even know what I am. I mean I am not even human, am I?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course you are."

"I wasn't born, Nathan. I was fucking grown. My memories aren't my memories, they aren't even completely real. How the hell can I trust myself when I can't trust my memories?"

"I don't know what to say. What I do know is...that I think I love you."

"You only think that because I remind you of your wife."

"No," he said with a soft laugh. "You definitely aren't the Paige I was married to. I admit that was my original attraction, but I came to realize long ago that you definitely aren't my Paige."

Paige laughed. "Long ago? We've known each other only days."

"But it sure as hell feels a lot longer, doesn't it."

She laughed again and nodded.

"I knew you weren't my Paige from almost the first day, when we first had breakfast."

She looked at him, the question clear but unvoiced.

"The way you ate your toast. My Paige...it just wasn't right. That was the first of many differences I saw. I admit I wanted to be wrong at first. I wanted to believe it was amnesia or something, but it definitely became clear that you were not her."

He stepped closer and gently placed his hand on her chin, turning her until she was looking into his eyes.

"I'm serious, Paige. I can't say I understand what the hell this all is or if I will ever be able to get my head around it all, but I know how I feel."

"Didn't end so well for you last time."

"No, I don't suppose it did. But I think I deserve a second chance. I think you deserve a second chance. I think...I think we deserve a second chance." He tilted his head towards where Jason and Julie had walked off. "I think that is what they are trying for as well."

"Second chances?"

He nodded. "What do you say? You say you can't trust your memories, what about your feelings? What are they telling you?"

She placed her drink on the roof of the car and then turned and wrapped her arms around Nathan.

"I don't know what to think. And I honestly don't know what I feel other than, right now, I trust you."

"So are we good?" Julie asked as she and Jason returned to the car. His eyes were red and puffy. Nathan felt bad for the older man. He knew much of what was being said was news to Jason, though he didn't know exactly how that was possible.

Paige nodded and said, "I think so." She slipped out of Nathan's arms, retrieved her drink and then got back into the car.

They drove on in silence for a few minutes until Nathan finally asked. "So what happened to Jason? Why doesn't he remember everything?"

"Because he was protecting my life," Julie replied. "When he...when we found out the scope of Cameron's plan we refused to be a part of it any further. Cameron decided we didn't have that option. We tried to make a break for it, but we didn't realize that Cameron was playing for keeps. We were detained and held separately. He threatened Jason's life but still he refused to continue. Then he threatened my life. Jason didn't want to see me killed but he would not continue to work on the project. Cameron did the same thing to me. Threatened me and then threatened Jason. In the end Jason and Cameron worked out a deal. One I wasn't thrilled with, but Jason implored me to be a part of."

"I'm sorry," the older man said.

"It wasn't your fault, Jason."

"So what happened?" Paige asked.

"Well Cameron wasn't willing to let us go, but he was willing to let us live. The evil bastard decided to torture us both. During the early work Jason did on Alzheimer's, he developed a serum which he'd hoped would reverse the disease. It was a complete failure, it actually had the exact opposite effect. It caused rapid onset of the disease or rather rapid onset of the symptoms so that it mirrored late stage Alzheimer's. Long term use actually seemed to cause brain damage in test subjects, which is likely why he can't remember everything. We have no clue if the damage will ever reverse completely. Once we saw it was a failure, the test subjects were destroyed and the drug shelved."

"Why didn't he just kill you both?"