Second Chance with the Millionaire(29)

'Because you seemed so worried …  I didn't want to add to your problems. I told you that then.'

'Yes, you did,' he agreed sombrely, 'and I was so caught up in my own  destructive jealousy I didn't know what to believe. All I could think  about was that summer and how he had encouraged you to reject me. And  how much he had enjoyed it. He knew then that I was attracted to you,  Lucy, even if you didn't. He even taunted me with it.' He smiled  derisively as he saw the disbelief in her eyes. 'Oh yes, he knew all  right.'

'I thought it might be something like that …  that it could be because you  were jealous of him that you had …  that you rejected me.'

'You did some pretty definite rejecting of your own,' Saul reminded her.  'You let me think you were in league with him against me.'

'Because I was so hurt that you could …  that you could make love to me  like that and then reject me. I had to have some means of self-defence.'

'Lucy … ' He pulled her gently towards him, resting her head against his  shoulder. 'Is it too late for us to start again? To try and build on  what we do have? We desire each other.'

'Desire isn't love.' She said it unhappily, unable to look at him.

'No,' he agreed after some hesitation. 'But while one of us loves, surely … '

Lucy stiffened, wrenching herself out of his arms. So all along he had known how she felt about him.

'All right, I admit I do love you, Saul,' she agreed, trembling with emotion and temper, 'but … '

'Hey, wait a minute. What do you mean, "you admit you love me"?'

'Exactly what I said,' she snapped back, hating the smile that curled  his mouth and brought glimmering sparks of delight to his eyes. 'You've  obviously known all along how I felt, and I … '

He was shaking his head, his smile going. 'No, Lucy,' he said seriously,  'I haven't known. Why the devil do you think I was so jealous of  Neville? So unsure of you? Not because I knew you loved me, for sure.'

'But you said … ' Her forehead crinkled into a small frown.

'What I said was, as long as one of us loves …  But the one I was referring to was me, not you.'

For several seconds she was stupefied into silence and then she objected shakily,

'But you can't love me. You left without a word, and never even tried to  get in touch with me. If we hadn't met by accident at the Manor,  you'd … '

'I'd have torn England apart trying to find you,' he groaned suddenly,  pulling her into his arms, his voice thick and raw with emotion as he  told her.

'I was just setting out for the Dower House that night to see you and  apologise when my mother rang. She was in such a panic about Harry, I  didn't dare take the time to talk to you about my jealousy. I wasn't  sure enough of you to think you would readily understand. I'd been  shocked by my behaviour-shocked and disgusted, and I knew you would be,  too. It wasn't something that could be put right in a phone call or a  letter. I'd hoped to get back sooner than I did, and when I did manage  to fly in it was to find that you'd left. It was like a blow in the gut.  I took it to mean that you were finished with me …  That I'd been right  after all and Neville was the one you wanted. I can't begin to tell you  what it did to me to think that all the time I was making love to you,  you were wishing it was someone else. It just tore me apart.

'I swore I didn't want anything else to do with you, that I was better  off without you …  but none of it worked. And then, when your uncle got in  touch with me to tell me about the baby … '

He saw her start of shock and smiled grimly.                       
       
           



       

'Apparently he got my number from Patterson, and he told me everything;  everything apart from the fact that you loved me, that is. You were  carrying my child …  That made you both my responsibility. I knew then  what I was going to do. I told myself I was only marrying you because of  the baby, but I knew damn well that wasn't it. It was no accident that I  was at the Manor that morning. I'd flown over the night before  determined not to let you out of my sight until you'd agreed to marry  me. Believe me, Lucy, if it hadn't been for Harry's illness you'd have  been back in my arms before dawn that morning, hearing how much I loved  and wanted you.'

It was said with too much conviction to be a lie, and anyway what would be the point?

'You really love me?'

She said it uncertainly, like a child promised something so magnificent that it hardly dared believe the promise was real.

'You'd better believe it,' Saul told her wryly. 'I'm surprised you  haven't already heard as much from my mother. I told her a long time ago  that I'd found the girl I wanted to spend my life with.'

'A long time ago?' Her eyebrows lifted as she teased him. 'We've only known each other a few months.'

'Correction,' Saul whispered against her mouth, 'I knew you twelve years ago.'

He felt the shock of surprise ripple through her body.

'I fell pretty hard for you that summer, Lucy, and though what I felt  faded over the years, it never went away completely. When your father  died and I knew I'd inherited, I was in two minds about coming over. I  told myself it was safer not to, but I couldn't forget that all those  years ago I'd sensed that beneath the teenage disdain you'd shown me was  someone very different. And then I heard from Patterson about what your  father had done to the estate, and I told myself I was wrong after all …   But still I had to come and find out for myself.'

There would be time later to tell him the truth about Oliver. Right now  all she wanted was to be held like this in his arms, his mouth moving  with tantalising slowness over her skin, his hands sliding the silk of  her nightdress from her body, his earlier urgency gone as he started to  make love to her with a slow languor that her body loved.

'Let's start again,' he murmured against her mouth, teasing it with  small biting kisses. 'Right from the moment when we walked into my  bedroom.'

He tensed as Lucy shook her head, levering himself away from her body  slightly. Her heart jolted against her ribs as she saw the uncertainty  in his eyes and knew his vulnerability.

'If we do that I'll be losing my most treasured memories,' she told him  softly. 'Not to mention this.' She patted her stomach, her breath  suspended as she saw his eyes darken and burn with passion.

'If you say so.' His voice was thick and slurred. 'But I'll give you other memories, Lucy, lots and lots of them.'

'I thought you were angry because I was a virgin,' she told him  dreamily, gasping softly as his mouth slid down her throat, teasing the  tender skin. 'That you felt it trapped you into a more serious  relationship than you'd wanted.'

'No …  If I seemed angry it was because I felt you must really love  Summers so much that you hadn't been able to give yourself to anyone  else. I knew he didn't love you, you see, and I thought you'd decided  that I would be as good a substitute as anyone …  That when I touched and  caressed you, you were thinking of him.'

His mouth had found her breast and was caressing the swollen, wanton  peak with a skill that threatened to drive her out of her mind.

Shudders of pleasure rippled through her, languor forgotten in the swift  upsurge of desire, her body abandoning restraint as it moved eagerly  against Saul's, inviting his possession.

Later, their bodies sleepily entwined, they talked with the freedom that  only lovers know, sleeping and then waking in the brilliant early  morning sunlight to make love again.

'I could stay here like this all day,' Lucy murmured happily, her lips caressing the smooth skin of his shoulder.

'I only wish we could.' Saul's smile was rueful. 'I thought by staying  with my parents, I was removing myself from temptation. I fully intended  to be out of here this morning long before you woke up, but I hadn't  allowed for the effect on my will-power of having you cuddle into my  arms and wrap yourself round my body.'                       
       
           



       

'Ah, so it's all my fault is it?' Lucy teased.

Happiness filled her, making her feel as lightheaded and giddy as a child.

'It's always the woman's fault,' Saul told her smugly, dodging the mock blow she aimed at him and trapping her in his arms.

* * *

'Well, well, you've surfaced at long last.'

Hand in hand they strolled towards the group sitting by the pool. The  woman who had called out to them got up, two toddlers at her side.

'I do believe you're blushing, brother dear,' she said with a grin as  she came towards him. 'Christie, you most definitely do owe me that  twenty dollars.' She had reached them now and her smile for Lucy was  warm and slightly mischievous.

'Lucy, come and tell us all about how you managed to hook this  marriage-shy guy,' she invited her new stepsister-in-law, but it was  Saul who answered her, his laconic voice at odds with the slumberous  passion in his eyes as he responded, looking at Lucy.