'I was,' he agreed tersely.
'Fanny's going to marry Tom Bishop.'
What a ridiculous thing to be telling him when there was so much between them, Lucy thought wanly, closing her eyes against the mockery she was sure she would see in his. She wanted to get up and run away from him as fast as she could, but she simply did not have the strength.
'You shouldn't have called the doctor,' she told him, 'I'll be all right in a moment. It was just the shock … '
'Of seeing me?'
She could hear the derision in his voice and it hurt. She could feel the tears burning behind her eyes.
'Lucy, I … '
The rough urgency in his voice made her open her eyes, but even as she did so they both heard the car outside, and he swore abruptly, striding towards the door.
'This will be the doctor,' he told her from the doorway. 'Don't try to move.'
He was back within seconds, the doctor behind him, but it was not plump, old-fashioned Dr Hartley, who she remembered from her childhood; it was a much younger man, who she realised must be his new partner.
'Well, young lady. What have you been doing to yourself?'
'She fainted,' Saul told him quickly before Lucy could speak. She saw the doctor frown.
'What happened? Did you have a fall? Bump into something?'
Saul was looking at her, and she licked her lips nervously, icy cold fingers of dread stroking chillingly up her spine. The darkness welled sickeningly around her again, and as she succumbed to it, grateful this time for its blanketing protection, she thought she heard Saul swear, his voice sharp with an anxiety she knew very well could not be for her.
This time when she came round she was in bed in her old bedroom at the Manor. The doctor was sitting in the window staring out of it, but as though some sixth sense alerted him to her recovery he turned and smiled reassuringly at her.
'Don't panic. There's nothing really wrong with you … just a small vitamin imbalance, I suspect. Something that's relatively common in pregnant women, although in your case … ' He frowned, and dread turned her heart over inside her.
'You're going to have to take things easy-especially in the last weeks of your pregnancy-no physical or mental exertion of any kind. You're not married I take it?' he asked bluntly.
Lucy shook her head.
'Mmm … Anyone who can look after you?'
'My aunt and uncle … ' Panic overwhelmed her as she demanded huskily, 'My baby … '
His expression softened slightly. 'You and your baby will both be fine, just so long as you're sensible,' he assured her. 'But being sensible means not worrying-not rushing about exhausting yourself-especially in the last few weeks of your pregnancy. This particular deficiency can result in a premature birth-something we doctors like to avoid.'
He saw that she was looking thoroughly alarmed and added soothingly, 'However, I'm sure you're going to behave sensibly and there won't be any problems. We'll need to get you into hospital for a couple of days to check just how bad the deficiency is, so that we can decide how we're going to tackle it-in mild cases, oral vitamin supplements are enough; in more serious ones we prefer to give intravenous shots.
'My baby … ' she asked anxiously.
'Will be fine,' he repeated. 'Just as long as you behave sensibly. Now, are you actually staying here, or … '
'At the Dower House,' Lucy told him tiredly. Her fainting attacks and constant tiredness were now taking on a more sinister meaning and she shivered a little despite the warmth of the quilt covering her.
'Mmm. Well I'd prefer not to move you from here for today. I'll come back and see you this afternoon-let you know what arrangements I've made with the hospital. Is there anyone at the Dower House who … '
'My aunt,' Lucy told him, thinking how worried her aunt and uncle would be when they woke up and found her missing. What would have happened to her if Saul hadn't appeared? If she had fainted when she was alone … But if Saul hadn't turned up she probably would not have fainted in the first place, she told herself staunchly. It was the shock of seeing him that had brought on her paralysing weakness.
Saul! Where was he now? He must not find out she was pregnant.
'I'll leave you now,' the doctor told her briskly. 'I advise you to try and get some sleep if you can. I'll pop in and tell your aunt what's happening on my way past. Now remember … no worrying.'
She heard the doctor's footsteps dying away, and then the slam of his car door and the rev of an engine as he drove away.
All around her she could hear the familiar creaks and groans of the house, so familiar that she was only half aware of them. Where was Saul? What on earth would he say when he learned she had to stay here … at least until this afternoon? She should have told the doctor it wasn't possible, but she had been so concerned about the safety of her baby.
The door opened and Saul walked in carrying a cup of tea. 'Ellis said you could have this,' he told her abruptly, placing it down within reach of her hand, but then instead of leaving he walked over to the window, staring out of it for several seconds, with his back to her, before swinging round to face her. His forehead was creased in a frown, his eyes sombre and dark grey.
'Lucy, we have to talk,' he announced curtly.
Panic and fear curled protestingly through her stomach. She didn't want to talk; she wanted to run away … To … But no, she had to face up to him.
'What about?' she asked coolly, turning her head slightly away from him as she added half under her breath, 'I thought you'd already said it all.'
'Lucy, you know I … What's past is past,' he told her in a different, colder tone. 'And you know damned well what we have to talk about, so stop playing games, and instead start thinking about the future of our child.'
The harshness in his voice grazed her oversensitive nerves. She wanted to deny his words, to tell him that the baby was hers, and hers alone, but she was too shocked by what he had said. How had he discovered?
'Don't bother denying it,' he continued. 'When Ellis said you were pregnant, I knew immediately the baby must be mine.'
'Must it?'
His eyes grim, he said cruelly, 'Unless by some miracle you've persuaded Neville to take you to bed, then yes, it must.'
His voice warned her that he wasn't going to believe any lie she might try to spin him about Neville being the father of her child. Her head lifted proudly as she met his glance head on.
'Very well then, Saul,' she agreed tightly. 'The baby is yours-inasmuch as you've fathered it-but you needn't worry that I shall be making any claims on you, either now or in the future.'
'You won't have to,' he told her tightly. 'I'll be right there alongside my son or daughter watching him or her growing up. You've two courses Lucy; either you agree to marry me, or I take you through every court in the land to prove that I can give our child a far better life than you could ever manage.'
The shock of it brought her close to fainting again, but somehow she held on to full consciousness, her voice so frail she could barely hear it herself as she demanded huskily,
'But Saul, why? There's no reason for you to make yourself responsible for … for what happened. And if you're so desperate to have children you … '
'Lucy, we've got to try and talk sensibly about this. Ellis has told me about your vitamin deficiency.' He saw her expression and said harshly, 'For God's sake, do you want to lose the baby?'
Her face gave her away, and she turned her head so that he wouldn't see the weak tears flooding her eyes.
She had not wanted Saul to know she had conceived his child, but she had never, ever dreamed he would react like this, or that he would propose marriage. Pain tightened round her body, encircling her with tormenting fingers. Less than a month ago she would have been overjoyed to receive his proposal, but now … He didn't want her, he just wanted … What? His child?
'You need proper care and looking after. Living alone … '
'I won't be living alone.' She saw the colour drain out of his face, a murderous expression darkening his eyes.
'If you think I'm going to let Summers raise my child … '
'This has nothing to do with Neville. I'm talking about his parents, my aunt and uncle. They've offered me a home.'
'But I'm not just offering you a home, Lucy. Think about it. Do you really feel you have the right to reject me on behalf of our child? Children need two parents-I think we both know that. How will our son or daughter feel knowing that … '
He broke off as they both heard the front doorbell.
'That will probably be my aunt and uncle, Saul,' she told him tiredly. 'Dr Ellis said he would call at the Dower House.' Her mouth tightened as she added, 'It seems unfair that fate should have brought you back here just at this particular moment. I had no intention of telling you about the baby. Why did you come back anyway? Fanny seemed to think you weren't going to.'