He frowned, remembering her words in that last conversation, but not realizing their full implication at the time.
She continued. “So after I said that, you said, ‘That’s too bad, babe. I guess we both have things we’ve gotta do.’ And that was it. We said goodbye and you hung up the phone. Believe me, Connor. I remember that conversation. I remember staring at the phone and then bursting into tears. My mother probably remembers, too. I drove her crazy that summer.”
Apparently everyone had grasped her meaning but him. “I thought you were telling me that you were going away for a while, like, on vacation. I figured, I’d be gone a week, come home and then you’d be gone a few weeks. So we’d miss each other’s company for maybe a month, but we’d get back together at the end of summer.”
Her face had turned pale. “No. I meant that I wouldn’t be with you anymore.”
He felt his chest constrict as he considered her words. “So you were already over me.”
“Oh no! No, I loved you so much, but you scared me to death. Connor, don’t you remember how I used to tell you that you deserved a woman who enjoyed taking risks? Someone just like you?”
He swirled his wineglass absently. “Yeah, you said it a lot. I thought it was a little joke, because I always thought we were perfect together.”
Her eyes glittered with tears as she shook her head. “No, it wasn’t a joke. I wish it was, but I couldn’t stand it when you took chances with your life.”
“My life?”
“You and your brothers were always going off to hike up some sheer cliff, or ski over some avalanche, or ride horses down a treacherous canyon path.”
He gave a lopsided grin. “The Grand Canyon trip. Hell, Maggie, we used to do that kind of stuff all the time. Not so much anymore. But I don’t see why it was such a big deal to you.”
“Believe me, it was a big deal. I would sit at home holding my breath, waiting for the phone call from the morgue.”
And that’s when Connor suddenly remembered that Maggie’s father had died in a hiking accident in Alaska. He’d always known about it, but had never connected the dots. Damn, no wonder all of his wild sporting activities used to freak her out. He sat back in the chair feeling wretched, his appetite gone. “I’m so sorry, Maggie.”
“So am I.” She smiled sadly. “When you said you were going skydiving for a week? Oh, my God, I almost fainted. I couldn’t take it anymore. Most of my life, I’ve been afraid to take those kinds of risks. I was ultracautious, don’t you remember? I didn’t even try out for cheerleading because I thought I might get hurt. It was all because of the way my dad died. He was just like you and your brothers, always looking for the next big adrenaline rush. His death was so devastating to me and my mom, there was no way I was going to put myself through that kind of pain again with you.”
“Damn, Maggie.” He realized now that he must’ve scared the hell out of her on a daily basis. As the youngest brother, he’d always been the one to take on any stupid challenge or death-defying dare. He really was lucky to be alive. “I guess that was the last straw you were talking about.”
“It was.” She reached across the table for his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t explain things more clearly, but I guess at the time, I just panicked.”
“I’m sorry, too.” He squeezed her hand in his. “If we’d taken the time to talk it out, we might’ve…well, who knows what could’ve happened?”