She had been hoping to use the remaining funds as collateral, but now that Angus needed expensive medication and possibly even surgery someday, she’d reached the point of desperation. Her business was on the verge of expanding into a wider market, and that would bring in more money eventually, but before that happened, she needed to raise some capital to keep things going. And that was where Connor came into the picture. Negotiating and trading her beer formulas for cash was better than going to the bank. This way, she wouldn’t have to pay back a loan.
She suddenly felt so tired and gazed at her comfortable bed longingly. How nice it would be to climb under the covers and take a long nap, but first she wanted to help Grandpa feed the goats.
As she stripped out of her “nice” jeans and pulled on her old faded pair, she had to laugh at herself. A few years ago, she wouldn’t have dreamed of wearing jeans to a meeting in the city. Not even her “nice” jeans. But happily, jeans and work shirts had gradually replaced most of the clothing she’d worn during her marriage.
Alan, her ex-husband, had expected her to dress up every day, usually in smart skirts and twin sweater sets with pearls. It didn’t matter what she was planning to do that day.
“You must always be seen wearing fashionable yet sensible clothing,” her ex-mother-in-law, Sybil, was forever reminding her, usually in a scolding tone of voice.
Three years ago, when Maggie first arrived back in Point Cairn after her divorce, she’d had no idea what an emotional mess she was. She just knew that her marriage had gone disastrously wrong and she was determined to get past the whole experience and move forward. She wanted to catch up with old friends and explore the town she’d missed so dearly. So one day, shortly after she’d returned, she drove into Point Cairn to do the grocery shopping.
While at the store, she ran into some of her old high school friends she hadn’t seen in years. She was thrilled to reconnect, but they quickly put her in her place, telling her they wanted nothing to do with her. They were still resentful that she had turned her back on the town. More important, they were livid that she’d hurt Connor so badly all those years before. Her friends had made it clear that while Connor was still universally loved and admired by one and all, Maggie was most assuredly not. One friend put it more succinctly: Maggie could go stuff it as far as they were concerned.
It was another blow to Maggie’s already fragile self-esteem and she had limped home to cry in private. For a full month afterward, she lived in her pajamas, wandering in a daze from her bed to the couch to watch television and then back to bed again. The thought that she might’ve hurt Connor was devastating to her, but the notion that Connor had lied to her old friends about their mutual breakup was just as bad. Why would he do that?
She remembered tossing and turning at night, unable to sleep for all the pain she might have caused—without even meaning to do so!
Then one day, her grandfather told her he could really use her help with the goats.
Maggie’s spirits had lifted. Grandpa needed her! She had a reason to get dressed and she did so carefully, choosing one of her many pastel skirts and a pale pink twinset with a tasteful gold necklace and her Etienne Aigner pumps.
When she walked into the barn, Grandpa took one look at her and asked if she thought they were going to have a tea party with the goats. He chuckled mightily at his little joke, but Maggie jolted as if she’d been rudely awakened from a bad dream. She stared down in dismay at her outfit, then ran from the barn and stumbled back to the house in tears. Poor Grandpa was bewildered by her behavior and blamed himself for upsetting her.
But Maggie knew where to place the blame. It was her own damn fault for being so weak, so blind and so stupid. She’d been well programmed by her manipulative ex-husband and could still hear his sneering voice in her head, telling her what to do, how to behave, what to wear and what she’d done wrong. As soon as their wedding vows were exchanged, Alan’s disapproval began and never let up. It had come as such a rude shock and she realized later that she’d been in a terribly vulnerable state after leaving Connor. Otherwise, she might have recognized the signs of cruelty behind Alan’s bland exterior.