“Then what’s wrong?”
“I keep fucking up. I keep putting you in danger.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“They found us twice now. Seems I’m incapable of keeping you safe.”
“It isn’t your fault. I don’t know how they found us, but I know it wasn’t because of something you did.”
“We can’t go back,” he said. “We can’t stay anywhere right now. We’re going to have to sleep in the truck.”
I nodded. “Okay then. We’ll do that.”
He cracked the windows and killed the engine. “Here’s as good a place as any.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. We’re in the middle of nowhere. Mafia won’t come back here. These roads aren’t even on maps, let alone GPS.”
“How do you know that?”
“I lived out here, remember? I used to travel these roads a lot. They’re old farm roads. We’re in the middle of some guy’s soy field, I bet.”
I looked around and nodded to myself. That made sense and would explain why we hadn’t seen another living person in a while.
Still, we were out in the open. I felt strange being so exposed.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked him.
“Like I said, the violence doesn’t bother me. I’m a hammer.”
“You’re a what?”
“A hammer. A blunt instrument of destruction.” He shook his head.
“I don’t think you’re a hammer, Gates.”
“I am, though. It’s not really a bad thing, though Maron wasn’t happy that I was resigning myself to it.”
I cocked my head. “Maron. That’s who we’re going to see tomorrow.”
“He’s my mentor. Well, my old mentor.”
“Old mentor? What happened?”
He looked out the window, frowning. “I might as well tell you, I guess.”
“Gates. No secrets between us.”
“He didn’t want me to go back to Syria. I did my two tours and I did them very, very well. I was out in the shit longer than any other SEAL in the modern era. Maron thought I deserved a rest.”
“You didn’t want one?”
“It’s not who I am. I don’t rest. I keep fighting.”
“So what happened?”
“He pulled some strings and made sure I got what I wanted, but not before laying into me. Maron wanted me to become his protégé. He wanted to teach me how to play the game, how to work the system, how to do the politics shit. Maron thought I could do more good behind a desk, working my way up through the ranks. If I could dictate military policy, as he liked to say, then I could save way more people than I could out in the field.”
“He wanted you to calm down.”
“I can’t calm down. He didn’t realize that at the time. Maybe he realizes it now.”
“He just wanted what he thought was best for you.”
“Yeah, maybe. Unfortunately for him, I’m the only one that chooses what’s best for me.”
“So you left things bad between you?”
“Not great, at least. I haven’t spoken to him since coming home. I never planned on speaking to him again if I could help it.”
“And yet we’re going there.”
He nodded. “That’s right.”
I stared at him, at a loss for words. Gates was willing to do something he promised himself he’d never do again, all for my sake. I didn’t know what to say. It was the nicest thing anyone had done for me, and I didn’t understand how I even began to deserve it.
“Get some sleep,” he said, crossing his arms. “I’ll keep watch.”
“Let me stay up. Did you even sleep last night?”
“I can go a few days without sleep. You rest.”
I sighed and pushed my seat back. He smiled at me. “It’s going to be okay,” he said.
“I know,” I answered. “I have you.”
“That’s right.”
I was afraid to go to sleep, but exhaustion was pulling me down. I figured I’d at least rest my eyes for a little while until I relieved Gates and took over watch duty. He needed to be sharper than I did, and he needed sleep to do that.
Violence, terror, and intrigue. I had no clue how the mafia had found us, but they did and now we were sleeping in some strange truck in some strange field. Hopefully, we’d get to see a man I didn’t know who apparently was angry with Gates for things that had happened in the past. Who knew what was going to happen with that? Maybe he’d throw us out and we’d be back to where we started.
Or maybe everything would be okay. Gates did have a way about him. He was competent, he was deadly. He was Gates.