Ouch. I never thought of it like that before. “It’s not that I don’t have faith in him. It’s just…she knows how to twist everything up. She’s a master manipulator and she’s been playing the both of us for years.”
“You give her too much power. She knows it and she revels in it,” Dr. Harris points out.
I shrug. “Maybe I do. It’s easier to avoid her rather than face the truth.”
“You know how I feel about you constantly running away from your problems. It’s not healthy. And they always catch up to you sooner or later.” She takes another sip of her drink and then pushes the cup aside so she can rest her arms on the edge of the table. “Enough focusing on the bad. Let’s talk about the good. Let’s talk about Fable.”
Just like that, I’m smiling as I study my cup, running my finger through the condensation that’s formed there. “I already told you I was with her last night.”
“Have you two talked much?”
“I said I was sorry.”
“For what?”
“Ditching her.” I meet Doc’s gaze from across the tiny table. The Starbucks is emptying out, it’s already near six. Most people are home fixing dinner or whatever. “We need to talk more.”
“Wouldn’t you want to make sure that you do? Are you going to explain to her why you ran away? It seems that she’s good for you,” Dr. Harris says with a slight smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so happy.”
My smile grows. “She is good for me. I’m in love with her.” Saying the words out loud makes them that much more real. And scary.
“Have you told her that?”
“Not yet.”
“Why?”
“What if she doesn’t love me back?” My absolute biggest fear is I lay it all out on the line for Fable and she doesn’t feel the same. Or worse, she laughs at me.
Though I know deep down inside she would never do that. I also know, deep down inside, that she probably feels the same way about me that I feel about her.
It’s easy to write the words I love you, to compose poems about her, declaring my undying love for her with a bunch of flowery sentences. It’s another thing entirely making that declaration to her face. Scary enough just saying the words out loud to my shrink.
“Loving someone is taking a constant risk with your emotions. When you find the right person, the one you know you want to be with, that person becomes worth the risk.” Dr. Harris pauses, studying me carefully. “Do you believe Fable is worth the risk to you?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
She smiles. “If that’s what you believe, then she’ll want to hear those words, Drew. I bet she thinks you’re worth the risk as well.”
Chapter Nine
We are afraid to care too much for fear that the other person does not care at all. – Eleanor Roosevelt
Fable
The restaurant is relatively quiet, which I guess is the norm for a Sunday night, according to Jen. My shift drags, the four hours feeling like twelve, especially because I’m not keeping constantly busy, which usually helps pass the time.
I check the clock and see that it’s seven thirty. Finally. Thirty minutes until I see Drew and I can’t wait.
Sucks that Colin is here, though. I don’t want him to see Drew pick me up. I promised him there wouldn’t be any drama and that I would keep Drew far away from here.
How was I supposed to know we’d literally kiss—and plenty of other things—and make up? I seriously thought we were through. Done. Finished.
Plus, I’d been so freaking angry with him. Mad that Drew came back into my life like he never left and tried his best to screw with my head. Kissing me, saying he missed me. All the things I wanted to hear but not like that. A confrontation at my work is not the way to go in reconciling a romance.
Funny, how things change completely in a few hours. I feel like my life has been flipped completely upside down.
In a good way.
“You’re antsy,” Jen says as she passes by me.
I’m bouncing on my heels. Sort of hard to do considering the heels I’m wearing. We’re in the dresses tonight. They’re black, they skim our bodies and end midthigh, though the skirt always rides up. The one where I make sure and wear boy-short-cut panties for fear I’ll show everything I have with one wrong move.
I wonder what Drew will think of my dress. I like the way it makes my boobs look and I’m wearing a special bra just for him.
“Full of nervous energy,” I explain, which sounds plain stupid but hey, I’m not lying.
“Why?” She raises a brow, crosses her arms in front of her. We’re hanging out at the waitress station near the bar, out of sight of the few customers who still linger in the dining area. “Does it have anything to do with the guy last night?”