I’m glad someone thinks so. He’s probably referring to the fact that because I don’t have a close relationship with my parents, I’ve basically done everything alone. When I turned eighteen, they basically told me it was time for me to move out, and that’s when I moved in with Ben.
I lick my suddenly dry lips. “Can we stop at the bottle shop?”
He glances at me, then back at the road. “Yeah, I guess so. What do you want to get? You aren’t going to get shit-faced tonight are you? Because I kind of told Kate we’d come over for breakfast tomorrow.”
My head snaps to him. Kate is Ben’s mother. My mother-in-law, or at least she was, and to be honest, she isn’t one of my favourite people. She’s not a nice person, and since Ben is no longer here, I shouldn’t really have to deal with her. Ben and I have no children; he was my only tie to Kate. She’s Dean’s aunt though, so I can’t really say any of that.
Shit.
“I don’t want to go,” I tell him, crossing my arms over my chest. “I don’t want to have a fucking family breakfast, Dean. Ben is gone, and I’m not going to sit there at his mother’s table and pretend everything is okay. She never even liked me.”
And I never liked her, although I was never rude or anything like that. I was raised to respect my elders, and I gave her much more respect than she deserved, because she was Ben’s mother.
“Don’t make me go alone, Sabina,” he says quietly, tone almost pleading. “I don’t want to go either, but I’ve avoided them enough. I don’t need another lecture from my own mother about the importance of family.”
I scrub my hand down my face, wondering when my life became so miserable. I’m not even in this family anymore. Okay, I sound like a bitch, but I just feel tired. Drained. Exhausted. And seeing Kate is not something I want to deal with. I can’t exactly throw Dean to the wolves when he’s been so good to me though. He even changed my bed sheets, putting a fresh white set on without a complaint.
“Fine,” I tell him, dragging the word out. “But I don’t want to hear any judgement when I leave the bottle shop with more alcohol than I could possibly consume.”
“Deal.”
I study his profile, wondering what brought him back to town. He’s famous now, and he doesn’t need to be here. His parents don’t live here anymore, they moved east after Dean made it big, so it’s only Ben’s mother, her husband, and their two sons who remain. I don’t even know if he’s close with his two cousins or not, but I don’t think he’s seen them in a while. I’d read in one of the gossip magazines that Dean is dating the actress Bella Reed, but I don’t know how much of that is true. I don’t feel like it’s my place to ask, even though I’m curious as hell.
I look straight ahead and lean my head back. This is my first time leaving the house in so long, and I’m going to buy food and booze with a sexy-as-sin famous musician and I still don’t feel happy.
What if it’s always like this?
The concerning part is that I don’t know if I’ll ever snap out of this funk. I don’t know who I am without Ben.
Chapter Three
“Is that hat meant to be your diabolical disguise?” I ask, smirking as we get out of the car.
He pulls it down low on his head. “No one will recognise me.”
“Yes, they will,” I say, brow furrowing. “You grew up here so everyone worships you. You’re the local treasure. They’ll definitely recognise you, Dean.”
“We’ll be quick,” he says, nodding to the grocery store. “Let’s go.”
I follow him inside, feeling amusement as I watch him grab a trolley and push it towards the first aisle.
“When’s the last time you went food shopping?” I ask him, scanning the fruit selection.
He clears his throat, then says, “I don’t know. Months, maybe.”
I make a tsk tsk sound. “How does it feel to be amongst the common folk? Us plebs?”
He throws me a look that clearly tells me to shut up, but all I do is flash him a grin, then start loading the trolley with various fruits and vegetables. A decent meal does sound good. Tara has dropped food off every day, trying to get me to eat, but all I did was consume the bare minimum. The looseness of my jeans tells me just how much I’ve been neglecting myself, and it’s time for me to get out of my slump and get my shit together. Dean is right, I can’t go on like this anymore. Other people lose someone they love every day, but they get through it.
And I will too.
We’re down the second aisle when I hear a woman say to her friend, “Oh my God, is that Dean Amore?”