“For fucking ever,” he says, with no heat in his tone. “I kept seeing pictures of you here, there and everywhere on your social media, and was wondering why the hell you hadn’t come to see me yet.”
“I didn’t make it out that way,” I say, looking out the window. “And besides, you were busy with your tour and everything. I didn’t want to inconvenience you. I’m home now, and you’re visiting again, and that’s all that matters, right?”
He stays silent.
He’s not happy with me, I can tell, and I don’t like him being in this mood because he hardly gets like this; he’s generally happy and optimistic.
“How long are you staying for this time?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“A week.”
“I’ll see if I can take the week off,” I say, hoping we can spend some time together. I don’t want Dean to be angry with me, or think that I don’t care about him, but there’s a reason I didn’t go to see him, one that I don’t want to tell him about. When he left, I really missed him. I thought about him a lot, and more than anything I wanted him to come back. I didn’t want to read too much into it, or overthink it, so I kind of pushed it away. He’s Ben’s cousin, and he was good to me, so I was just missing his company, right?
Exactly.
Well, I don’t know.
I don’t want to know, especially when denial is treating me so well.
“So now you want to spend time with me?” he asks in a dry tone.
At least he hugged me when I showed up at Kate’s to pick him up. He spent a night with them before I came to get him, in the very car he gave to me. He hugged me, took the keys from me as I made small talk with my ex-mother-in-law, then got into the driver’s seat. We’re now on the way to my apartment, but the reunion isn’t going as well as I had hoped.
“It’s not like you couldn’t have contacted me and met me somewhere,” I say, pursing my lips. “Can this be a happy moment, please? I don’t like it when you get angry.”
A muscle ticks in his jaw, but I see the moment he lets go of whatever is bugging him. His body relaxes, and he doesn’t look like he wants to kill me anymore. I give him directions to my new place, all the while greedily taking him in, his profile, his presence, everything. A year is a long time. His hair is longer on top, and a little lighter… from the sun? He’s wearing a black V-neck t-shirt and worn jeans, something that hasn’t changed.
“You going to stare at me until we get to your place?” he asks, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.
I shift in my seat and look away, shrugging. “I haven’t laid eyes on you in person in a year, give me a break. You look the same, but different.”
“You look different,” he says, fingers tightening on the wheel. “You cut your hair.”
I touch my now blunt bob. “Yeah, don’t you like it? Wanted a change, and all I had to change was my hair, so I cut it. It will grow back. I think I prefer it long, but the blunt look is sexy. At least I think so.”
“You trying to look sexy now?” he says, not sparing me a glance.
I purse my lips. Is he going to twist everything I say? “Well, I’m a single woman. A little appreciation from the opposite sex isn’t something I need, but it’s nice.”
“As if you don’t get enough appreciation,” he says, clearing his throat.
How did we get into this conversation? This is not where I wanted it to head. “Are you working on a new album?”
He shakes his head. “Not just yet. Taking some time off.”
“How was Kate’s?”
“Same as usual,” he says, exhaling. “She’s a lot to deal with, but I wanted to see my cousins, so.... You know she pretty much hinted that I should buy her a car since I got you this one.”
“Yeah, she wasn’t happy when she found out about that,” I say, cringing. “In fact, she was pretty furious. I think she called your mum to complain.”
“Yeah well, luckily my mum is nothing like her,” he says.
“Very true,” I say, agreeing with that comment. “What’s new in your world?”
“Nothing much since the last time I spoke to you on the phone,” he says, referring to our monthly calls. Sometimes I’d cave and give him a quick ring. He’d ask where I was, what I was doing, and I’d make sure he was doing all right too. Kind of just checking in with each other. “How about you?”
“I made a new friend,” I tell him. “She does belly dancing with Tara and me. Her name is Persephone Knox. How cool is that name?”