“Babe.” He stroked her back.
“It’s okay, really. I can’t feel bad for myself, because while my mother wasn’t warm when I was growing up, she taught me all the proper things I needed to know to succeed in my field, and I inherited her musical talents, so I should really thank her.”
He gathered her in his arms and held her tight. She closed her eyes and soaked him in. She’d never shared those worries aloud, and she hadn’t realized how deep they cut until that very second when she felt her throat swell and tears dampen her eyes.
“Wouldn’t it be great if we could choose our parents?” Jamie’s voice was solemn.
Jessica remembered that his parents had died. She lifted her head and saw compassion in his eyes. “Jamie. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Here I am complaining about my mother, and yours is…”
“Gone.”
“Yes.” More tears welled in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
He nodded. “You know, I used to carry a lot of anger. I’ve never told anyone this before, but I’m sure my grandmother knows how angry I was. My parents had a lot of money. My father worked on Wall Street. He’d come home late at night, and I’d hear them talking after I was in bed. He’d come into my room, rub my back a little to wake me up, and talk to me about my day. I don’t remember much, just bits and pieces of things. I remember my mom always smiling. She was a nature lover, and I think that’s why she was so excited to go on the safari. She could finally see all the beautiful creatures she had dreamed about and watched on television. And my dad? He would do anything to see her smile. The thing that stood out most about him was the way he looked at my mom, like she was the most incredible person he knew, almost like he fell in love with her over and over again every time he saw her. We used to spend weekends as a family, and I have this feeling, more than a memory, of how much they loved me. But when they were planning their trip, I remember begging them not to go. That I remember clearly.”
“Oh, Jamie.” She caressed his cheek.
He shook his head and looked off in the distance. “I don’t know why I was so against them going. They showed me brochures, and they were so happy about going on this safari that for some reason scared the shit out of me.”
“Do you think you knew they were going to run into trouble? I’ve heard of that, young kids having premonitions. They say kids are more open to those types of things.” She could never have this New Agey type of conversation with her parents, and yet, with Jamie, she felt as though she could talk about anything.
He shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe I was just a scared little boy who didn’t want to go to the African bush for a month, or maybe I just didn’t want my parents to go. I don’t know.”
“Were you with them when…?”
“Vera wouldn’t let them take me. She told them that it wasn’t good for me to miss a month of school, and she came to New York to stay with me. I’ve always felt a little guilty about that.” His eyes became hooded, and he looked away.
“I’m so sorry, and I hate that nothing I say can take that pain away.” She climbed into his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her cheek to his. “I wish I was there when you were little. I’d have hugged you and told you how loved you were. I’d have listened when you were angry and cried when you were sad.”
His strong arms wrapped around her body and he sighed. “I believe you would have. It was a long time ago.”
They sat like that for a long while, their silence buffered by the sound of the ocean and the smell of the sea. Eventually—Jessica didn’t know how much time had passed—his grip on her eased. Their eyes connected, and when their mouths came together, the rest of the world fell away. All that was left was the sound of their breathing, the feel of their hearts beating fast and hard against their chests, and the passion that had them kissing with desperation, grasping at each other’s bodies. She ran her hands through his hair, over his neck, and all over every inch of his muscular back she could reach, while his hands traveled up her sides, brushing the sides of her breasts, making her crave more of him. The sadness of their confessions swirled around them and morphed into something thinner and smaller with every breath, then changed shape completely, spiraling into a common thread that wound around them and bound them together.
“Jess,” he said in a heated breath.
Three dates. Three dates. Three dates. Oh God! Three whole dates?
She couldn’t answer. She could only kiss him more. His hands slid beneath her shirt and—Oh God, yes—he caressed her breasts, sending a shudder of need right through her. Her nipples hardened with the first brush of his fingers. Shivers of heat chased that shudder deeper, and when he used his other hand to hold the back of her head as he kissed her neck, then licked it with his tongue, it was all she could do to fist her hands in his shirt to keep from begging for more. But, Lord, did she want more. He used his teeth to unzip her sweatshirt, and it just about killed her to have his mouth that close to her skin. He drew back for an instant.
“Waist up?”
“Waist up.” Ohgodohgodohgod.
He lifted her shirt and palmed her breasts through her lacy black bra, then ran his tongue along her cleavage. Her body felt electrified. She could hardly believe she was making out on the beach. She didn’t do things like this! But every pass of his tongue took her higher, until she couldn’t think and couldn’t take it anymore. She reached down and unhooked the center clasp of her bra. He moaned, a guttural, masculine sound of appreciation, as his mouth found her nipple and he taunted her with his talented tongue while squeezing the other between his finger and thumb. She was going to hyperventilate. She was sure of it. She couldn’t catch her breath, except to beg.
“More. Oh God, Jamie.”
He sucked and licked until her mind went numb and her body turned into a bundle of oversensitive nerves. Every kiss, every touch, took her closer to the edge.
They tumbled to the sand, groping and kissing, their hips gyrating against each other. He was hard and she was wet, so wet. With her shirt pushed above her breasts, her bra open, the cold air hit the wet skin of her nipples. Goose bumps raced across her flesh as his big hands gripped her ribs and he kissed a path down the center of her stomach and lingered around her belly button. He circled it with his tongue, then thrust into it. His thumbs stroked the sensitive skin beside her hips, and she felt as though she might come apart right then. She buried her hands in his hair and he grazed his teeth along her waist, his hard length pressing into her thigh. He moved up her body, positioning his hips over hers, and pressed his erection against her center. He felt so good, so hard, so…Oh Lord. He was sucking on her neck while putting pressure on her damp center with the heat of his arousal. Tingling began in her arms and legs. Something unfamiliar, wicked, and wild coiled deep in her belly, tugging, reaching, teasing, making her swell and ache between her legs. She’d read about these sensations, but she’d never actually felt them. Oh God. Her heartbeat quickened. She was so close. She had to be. This had to be what all the fuss over sex was about. She sensed the titillation of an impending orgasm. Her mouth went dry, numb, and she slammed her eyes shut, wanting it so badly. Wanting this with Jamie. It was just out of reach, making her chest feel icy and hot at the same time. Oh God, she wanted this.
Above the waist. Above the waist. Oh good Lord, they were totally clothed below the waist, and she was embarrassingly close to having her first orgasm. His hand slid down her body and grabbed her ass. Ohgodohgodohgod. She sucked in a breath, and he trapped her earlobe in his teeth, as he’d done the other night.
“How close are you?” he whispered.
She mewed. Mewed! He knew? She was mortified and even more turned on.
“Close…I think.”
He squeezed her ass tighter and gyrated his hips so every inch of him was rubbing against her. Then he sealed his mouth over hers and kissed her hard, demanding, plunging his tongue deep into her mouth, in sync to his pelvic thrusts. It was erotic and sensual and so damn hot that she lost all control, and fireworks exploded behind her closed lids. Her muscles clenched and pulsed between her legs, sending heat and lightning through her entire body. Whatever had coiled in her stomach erupted, soaring through her body and out her lungs. He captured her cries in his mouth, holding her tight even as her hips bucked up off the sand. Then he did the most miraculous thing—he breathed for her. In and out, one long breath after another, until she’d eked out every last pulse of the mind-numbing orgasm, and he drew back with the need for air.
She was panting, embarrassed, and totally and completely taken with this patient and compassionate man who also happened to be sexier than hell and able to turn her world upside down while almost fully clothed. Jessica covered her eyes with her arm. He gently moved her arm aside and kissed her eyelids.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Don’t hide. You’re stunning, Jess.”
She clenched her eyes shut. She wished she could disappear, slip beneath the sand and tunnel to the sea. But even from behind closed lids, she sensed his smile and felt the heat of his gaze. She opened her eyes, and he was indeed smiling down at her.