Seaside Embrace(36)

“I’m sorry you went through that.”

She tipped her face up.

“I’m not Spencer, and I sure as hell am not the guy women dream of marrying. But there’s one thing I’m damn sure of, and that’s my feelings for you.” He tried to lighten the mood by saying, “Even if that means I have to work extra hard to keep your attention on me when we’re out, I’m one hundred percent, totally and completely, all in.”

He cupped her beautiful face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. “I have total faith in us, and because of that I’m not going to push you to claim our relationship in front of our family and friends right now. I wish I could say I’d wait forever, but you know me. I feel too much for you to hide it that long, because even if you say you don’t want to hide it, that’s what we’re doing. But I know you need to trust what’s happening between us, and I understand that. After all you’ve been through, you need to develop your own faith in us, and maybe more importantly, in yourself.”

He let those words sink in. “Hopefully one day you’ll realize that I don’t ever want to hold you back from doing all the things you dream of. I want to help you set yourself free.”





Chapter Twenty-Five


JANA DROVE TO Seaside thinking about her conversation with Hunter and trying to wrap her head around her feelings. She’d never opened herself up to judgment like that before with anyone but her family when all that stuff first went down with Spencer. And even then, she’d done it only because she’d had no choice. But Hunter deserved the truth, and she felt better for having told him.

How had she gotten lucky enough to connect with probably the only man on earth who wouldn’t judge her for her past? He could have called her out on the inappropriateness of her behavior with Spencer. Instead, he’d not only understood, but he’d helped relieve some of her guilt. By the time she arrived at Seaside, she realized that she was letting her past control her life, and she’d taken baby steps toward change. Telling her friends about her and Hunter was just another baby step. Even if it felt like she was stepping over a giant ravine.

She greeted the girls and their babies and sat beside Amy, listening to them rave about their husbands, who were out on Pete’s boat this morning for a little guy time. It made her want to tell them how awesome Hunter was. But every time she opened her mouth, she struggled to tear down the walls she’d lived behind for so long, and no words came.

“What did you decide about the space for your studio?” Sky asked as they passed around a plate of muffins Leanna had made.

“I haven’t made a decision yet. There’s a lot to consider.”

Sky rolled her eyes. “Like how quickly you can quit your job? Come on, Jana. If I can open my own tattoo parlor, you can open your own dance studio. You’re more organized than me, less afraid of, well, anything at all, and from the way I was sore in places I didn’t know could be sore after that Foxy Mamas dance class, I know you’re a kick-ass instructor.”

If only Sky knew how big her fears were and that they all centered on falling for her brother. “Yes, but what if I can’t get any students? I wouldn’t feel right stealing Marco’s students.”

“Seriously?” Amy shook her head. Her blond hair was pinned up in a ponytail, and Hannah, sitting in her high chair between Amy and Bella, kept trying to grab it. “You don’t owe that man anything. Besides, he’ll probably close the studio if you leave. Then they’ll come to you on their own.”

“Maybe.” She twisted a lock of hair around her finger. “And you don’t think that renting from Hunter is a huge mistake?”

“Why would it be?” Sky asked. “It’s the same as renting the building here, isn’t it?”

I’m not sleeping with you guys. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Then it’s settled,” Bella said as she wiped Summer’s chubby cheeks. “Call Hunter and tell him you’ll take the space.”

“Why is it that every time I come over here you guys change my life?”

“Speaking of lives changing.” Sky looked like she was ready to burst. “Sawyer and I set a date for our wedding!”

“Oh my goodness!” Amy jumped up and hugged her.

“That’s great!” Jana said, happy for the change of subject and truly thrilled for her friends.

“Yay, another wedding.” Jessica said as Leanna circled the table and hugged Sky.

Bella lifted Summer into her arms and stood with one hand on Sky’s shoulder. “We have to celebrate.”

“We are,” Sky said. “Sawyer’s arranged to play his guitar at the Bombshelter next Friday night, and you guys are all coming.”

“Definitely,” Jenna said. “We wouldn’t miss it.”

“And tonight we’ll have a barbecue in the quad, followed by a little chunky-dunking action.” Bella raised her brows in quick succession.

“Bella.” Amy’s tone was stern. “You know Theresa’s here all week, and you promised no more doing things that would bother her. Skinny-dipping definitely bothers her.”

“No, I didn’t. I promised not to do any more pranks, and I’m not breaking that promise.” Bella kissed Summer’s nose. “Chunky-dunking is like a rite of passage, and Jana hasn’t ever joined us. It’s time to christen her, and what better time than now, when we’re celebrating her new studio and Sky and Sawyer’s wedding date?”

Jana’s phone vibrated, and when DO NOT RESPOND! flashed on her screen, she made a mental note to change it to Hunter’s name. She opened and read the text.

I got tickets to the theater in Wellfleet for tonight since you only teach until six.

She couldn’t imagine Hunter willingly going to a theater. That he would do that for her made her body hum with excitement. She texted a reply. Really? Did someone hold a gun to your head?

His reply came seconds later. No. To my heart. A sigh escaped her lips before she could stop it. Be ready by 7:30. Wear that blue dress I love so much.

“I think I need a rain check for the chunky-dunking.” Jana pressed her lips into a tight line to keep from saying more as she typed a response and sent it off. I see my bossy boy is back.

“Why, and who’s your bossy boy?” Bella’s voice startled Jana.

She turned her phone over against her leg, panic clawing at her again.

“Oh, bossy boy, I love that,” Amy said. “Tony can be bossy sometimes, and it’s such a turn-on.”

“Pete is always bossy,” Jenna said. “I think it runs in their family.”

Jana’s pulse quickened as Sky’s knowing gaze pierced through her veil of secrecy.

“Bossiness does run in our family.” Sky crossed her arms and sat back in her chair, eyes pinned on Jana, a smile playing on her lips. “It’s hard to avoid, and from what Sawyer tells me, it’s even harder to resist.”

You’re telling me? The words it was Hunter were on the tip of her tongue, but she’d lived within the confines of her self-imposed prison for so long that without thought she was rising to her feet and saying, “I’ve got to go.”

Bella put a firm hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down. “Oh, no you don’t. Spill it, girlfriend.”

Her mind told her to bolt from the deck, save herself from the peer pressure that was about to be unleashed upon her, but the weight of their inquisitive gazes, coupled with the mischievous look in Sky’s eyes, had her pinned in place.

As panic bloomed inside her, dark and petrifying, she thought of Hunter and the look in his eyes as he’d listened to her share her past with him, and she knew she wasn’t being fair. He was working so hard to help her, to set me free, she wanted, needed, to do the same for him. But when she opened her mouth, her words betrayed her.

“There’s nothing to spill.” She’d never felt so low in her life. Lying to her friends was worse than sneaking out of a room that charged by the hour.

Jenna shook her head and looked down at Bea, sleeping soundly in her arms. “That lie was loud enough to wake my precious girl, wasn’t it, Bea?” As if on cue, Bea sighed in her sleep.

“Wait.” Jana pressed her palms to the table as all the girls leaned in closer.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you guys earlier. Hunter and I have been seeing each other.”

“Well, duh,” Jenna said.

Duh?

“Like we didn’t already figure that out?” Amy added. “What do you think we are, amateurs?”

“Shh. Let her talk.” Sky’s smile widened. “And…?”

She felt tears sting her eyes with her confession, and their support only made her that much more emotional. And made her want to share more, to tell them everything.

“And, I don’t know. You guys know me. I suck at dating. I just…I’m afraid something will happen and I’ll hurt him, or he’ll hurt me, and then you guys won’t know how to act around us, and everything will be a mess, and I’ll lose the best friends I’ve had in a long time.” She met their eyes, wondering if her face had turned blue from the exhaustive sentence.