Searching for Mine(6)

Not even the women.

How had that happened? Not that he didn’t have steady offers, but lately his sexual drive had been humming at a low level. Something seemed lacking in all of his encounters, and he couldn’t seem to figure out the problem. He’d never been like his brother, craving some type of mythical connection with a woman that didn’t exist. No, he believed hard in the three B’s when it came to dating. They were part of his own personal Bible he’d created to keep things uncomplicated.

Beauty.

Body.

Boobs.

Marriage didn’t interest him, and neither did getting tied up with all the daily routine and messiness of a long-term relationship. He’d seen firsthand how the feeling of love could turn bad and sweep everyone in its wake into a tsunami of casualties.

No, thanks. Keep it clean and everyone remained happy. He just needed to get his groove back.

He got up from the table and cleaned up. Maybe he’d spend a few minutes spacing out in front of the television. Yeah, he had to be at the job site at five a.m. for his construction job, but he needed to clear his mind from the array of numbers flashing in his head.

Dropping into the comfortable sectional, he channel surfed for a bit before he hit pay dirt. The Fast and Furious number—well, whatever. Nothing like some good car crashes and skimpily dressed women to soothe him. He put his feet on the coffee table and settled in.



* * * *



“How was school, honey?”

Her son dragged his fork across the chipped plate. “Fine.”

Ella raised a brow. Luke slumped at the table, staring at his meatloaf with pure suffering. She didn’t blame him. Lately, dinners were thrown together with little thought to gourmet taste and more to sustenance on a faster timetable. “Did you just utter the most boring, inane word on the planet that should be struck from Webster’s Dictionary? The word I absolutely refuse to acknowledge in this house because I believe we have brains larger than an amoeba? Did you say the word—fine?”

He tried to look annoyed but his lip twitched. “Sorry. It was uneventful.”

She grinned. “Much better.” They smiled at each other and for a little while, life was just about perfect. Ella knew well about grabbing those moments in time that defined her daily routine. Her son was growing up. Every day, she felt as if he tugged another inch away from her toward the big bad world that was waiting to gobble him whole. Her gaze swept over his beloved face, with his charming pug nose, full lips, and graceful brows. His brown hair was thick and messy, with a terrible cowlick she’d never been able to tame with gel or scissors, but was such a part of who he was she hoped he’d never get rid of it. His round black glasses made him look like a young Harry Potter. Of course, he hated them and was already begging for contacts.

But his eyes were truly the window to his truth. A deep, rich chocolate brown, they reminded her so much of his father. Luke’s were full of warmth, kindness, curiosity, and zeal.

His father’s had been full of unfulfilled longing and too many secrets.

Ella tamped down a sigh. The last time she’d convinced Luke to sit on her lap for just a moment, his lanky legs had hung over her and hit the floor at an awkward angle. She’d spent her entire life engulfed in the magic of words and poetry, and in that moment, finally got what it felt like to grieve the passing of time. Just another one of those things you could read about or watch but didn’t truly understand the flood of emotion until you experienced it. Kind of like childbirth.

“Besides uneventful, have you made any friends yet?” she asked.

His head dropped again. “Nope.”

“No boys in the neighborhood? Maybe to ride bikes with or something?”

He snorted. “Let’s just say there’s been no welcoming committee. I’m fine, Mom. Don’t worry about it.”

And that’s exactly why she worried. Luke was extremely independent, and usually had no problem making friends. His wicked sense of humor won over his toughest critics, but the past months had stolen his smile.

He needed more time, and she knew he’d make friends. Pushing wasn’t going to help. Attending a new school simply sucked. She’d tried everything possible not to move, but the job offer at Verily College was a gift she couldn’t pass up. She hated not being home after school for Luke, but for now she had no choice. Next semester she’d have a better schedule and more flexibility, but for now, she needed to prove herself and take the unwelcome time slots leftover from the other long-term professors.

Ten years old and already he’d experienced more pain than she ever intended. He’d lost his father, his home, and his friends. As his mother, she’d only wanted to protect him and make him happy. Make him feel safe.