The semester was coming to an end. Luke continued to come over to his house and do homework, but Connor made sure to cite work as an excuse to stay away from Ella. Class became a torturous session that tore him apart. He ached to touch her. Talk to her. Insist they were being ridiculous by not trying to be together.
But he realized, deep down, Ella was right.
He hadn’t made a move until she walked in that kitchen transformed. When he looked back on their first kiss in the snow, he remembered keeping a lock-down on his hormones and emotions. He’d treated her more carefully, with more respect. The moment she came at him in a low-cut top and short skirt, and he thought of her kissing some guy, he’d lost his control. Somehow, it seemed safer to play with a sexually experienced, hot woman. He knew the rules.
God, he was such an ass.
“Yeah, it’s been a tough few weeks. How’s Kennedy?”
“Hard-headed as usual. She found her engagement ring and kind of freaked out.”
He almost spit out his beer. “Dude, are you serious? You asked her to marry you?”
Nate waved a hand carelessly in the air. “I ask her to marry me all the time. The ring is for the formal asking I’m planning for her. Of course, she stumbled across it and majorly lost her mind. This may be the hardest woman in the world to pin down.”
“Why can’t you just leave things alone?” he asked in frustration. “You’re both happy. Shacked up. Who needs marriage?”
Nate looked surprised. “I do. I love her. She wants to get married, too, but the woman is stubborn. Eventually I’ll get her to agree. How’s Ella?”
He grunted. “Fine.”
“Luke?”
“Fine.”
“How’s school? Graduation is May, right?”
“Yep, I’m all set. As long as I pass Ella’s class.”
“And work? You still going for that big management position?”
“Yep. They offered me the job.”
Nate laughed with delight. “Congratulations! Not that I’m surprised, but damn, I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks.”
He tried to force a happy smile, but he was too miserable. Nate stared at him hard, his green eyes seeing way too much, like he always did. He tapped a finger against the edge of the table in a steady rhythm. “You’re in love with Ella, aren’t you?”
Connor jerked back, splashing beer over the rim of his glass. “Holy shit, dude, why’d you ask me a question like that?”
His brother shrugged. “I could tell. You’re a mess. Something happened between you two. Just tell me.”
So Connor did. He told Nate the entire story from start to finish, and Ella’s expectations, and his confusion, and dumped it all out in one long, messy stream of words. There was no one else he trusted more in the world than Nate. His brother took it all in with that quiet manner, just nodding here and there as he urged him to continue.
Finally, he fell silent. The cocktail waitress took that moment to slide by their table and smile cheerily. “Can I get you another round, gentlemen?”
He automatically switched into gear, giving her a big smile and wink. “We’ll have anything you’re giving, sweetheart.”
She giggled and cocked her head in a flirty manner. “Oh, yeah? I may have to take you up on that offer later.”
“I’ll be waiting. For now, I think we’re good.”
With another sidelong look, she walked away with an extra swing of her hips that did nothing for him. When he turned back to his brother, Nate was looking at him in pure shock.
“You’re unbelievable. That was the stupidest, most asinine pick-up line I ever heard. And she fell for it! You’re the only guy I know who gets away with that behavior. No wonder you’re such an ass. Women have been falling for you your whole life and you’ve never had to work hard to really keep one.”
Connor’s mouth fell open. “That’s a shitty thing to say to me! I just poured out my heart and you’re giving me a hard time because the waitress liked me?”
Nate dropped his face into his hands and groaned. “God, you’re just like Kennedy. I swear, it’s scary. You both have intimacy issues. You’re both stuck on stupid images and your ideas of beauty. You’re both terrified of being left alone and getting your heart broken. You both are driving me nuts.”
Shock poured through him. “I’m not afraid of being left. I’ve always broken up with women, not the other way around. Is it wrong to accept the truth about myself? I’m not meant for long-term or serious relationships. I’m not built that way.”
Nate looked up and stared at him with serious eyes. “Connor, I need you to listen to me, man. You were left in the most devastating way possible. Mom left you. Oh, you always talked about how hard it was on me, but you’re the one who got stuck with all the crap. You watched Dad take off and had to raise me. You had to be the parent in the relationship, and you never got the answers of why. Then you got this stupid idea that you had no brains, like the intelligence was distributed only to one family member, and you limited yourself.”