“Your instinct told you not to marry him. Strong, independent women are the most vulnerable to abuse. We like giving up control once in a while, and we want to be protected and cherished in certain ways. Many times the lines are blurred, and love clouds our vision. Don’t be hard on yourself. We’re all here to make mistakes, but you’ll find your way.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t use Kinnections after all. I’m not ready.”
Arilyn raised a brow. “Usually I’d recommend space to heal, but I think dating would be a good thing. You need some confidence. It takes a few weeks to get matched properly anyway. Sometimes the promise of something new and fresh gives you a whole new outlook.”
“Maybe.”
Arilyn floated toward the door. “Think about it. Kate and Kennedy are in their offices if you need anything. See you later.”
“Bye.”
Gen slumped back in her chair and picked at a nail. Lots of ups and downs lately, like she was trapped on an emotional roller coaster. A part of her missed the organized chaos of the hospital, the meaning behind every motion and every thought. The other part was relieved she didn’t have to think for anyone else anymore.
Gen turned back to her computer and threw herself into the search for love for other people.
fourteen
COMING!”
The second knock owned the impatient tone of a man not used to waiting. Gen hopped on one foot, pulling on a pair of silver ballet flats, then stumbled to the door.
David’s gaze flicked over her outfit, subtly assessing. She fought the urge to squirm and wait for verbal approval. How many times had she come out of the bedroom and been greeted by a shake of his head, asking her to change? His consistent opinions on the type of clothes a successful surgeon’s wife wore made her self-conscious, until she got in the habit of having him lay out the items he wanted to see on her.
She tugged nervously at the dandelion silk jersey, swallowed, and stepped back. “Come in.”
He strode inside with an aura of entitlement. “You’re looking extremely . . . bright.” She stiffened but refused to answer. “Back to the cottage, huh? I’d hoped the time we spent together would have benefited your taste a bit.”
“I like my place. Where’s my computer?”
“In the car.” He was still dressed in his scrubs, cutting a suave picture of the ultimate professional. Slight stubble darkened his jaw. He kept a razor handy wherever he went, so she was a bit surprised he hadn’t stopped to clean up. David despised being seen as unprepared. Said it was a surgeon’s job to instill trust at first glance.
A pang hit her. He was so beautiful, yet cold. Like a statue to admire, dream about, but never truly own. Gen turned, trying to blink away the sudden tears over the loss of someone she’d never really had.
“I can get it. I’ll be happy to come over Sunday during your normal shift to get the rest of my things.”
“In a hurry?” he drawled, walking in front of her.
Gen drew herself to full height, which was pathetic, and tried to look composed. “I have dinner plans.”
“So you’ve said. Not till seven though.”
“I’d rather we be done with this episode.”
He lifted a brow. “You’re acting like a sulky child. Don’t act entitled to anything. You walked away and humiliated me on my wedding day. The woman I held in my arms and made plans with for a future would’ve never hurt me so deeply.”
She winced. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I can keep telling you that forever, but you’re not understanding the real problem. I panicked. I felt as if you never heard me, no matter what I did. You told me what to wear, eat, and say. How to act. Who to see. It was smothering.”
He twisted his lips in a bitter sneer. “Is that the problem? ‘Independent woman, hear me roar’? I tried to care for you, give you what you need. And you repay me by acting like a slut and throwing it in my face?”
Her heart pounded. She hated this part of him, the one who scared her in a gut-level way she never understood. Starting to step around him, Gen tried to keep her calm. “Let’s not redo this scene. I’ll just get my computer and we’ll call it a night.”
He shoved her back so fast and so hard she toppled onto the couch. Shock held her immobile for a moment. “We’re not done. Not by a long shot. I listened to you talk and bitch when I gave you everything. You think you can run off for some dirty affair without consequences? I think you’ve been playing both of us for a long time.”
She jumped up and glanced toward the phone. The ugliness in his gaze caused sweat to collect under her arms. She tried to keep breathing, not sure what to do. Once, she’d swear David would never have laid a finger on her or try to hurt her. But right now, she saw a stranger who’d never shared her bed or her life. And it scared the hell out of her.