Searching for Beautiful(54)
Gen laughed. Only her friends could introduce humor into every situation. “Thanks for the suggestion, A, but I think I’ll pass. I just want to move on. Nothing else matters right now.”
“What are you going to do?” Kate asked. “Transfer to another hospital and residency program?”
She shook her head. “I’m taking a break. I need to figure out if this is what I really want, or if it’s just been a goal I’ve set for myself. I’d still need to commit to years more of training to do surgery. Maybe this is a sign I’m not meant for it.” They jumped in together to protest, but she held up one hand. “No, I’m not saying I’m not good enough. I just don’t think I ever gave myself any other options. I need time.” A small smile touched her lips. “I have nothing left. Maybe it’s a good thing, since I can start fresh. Find out who I really am again. Make sense?”
Arilyn nodded. “Perfect sense.”
“Is David pressuring you? Are you afraid of him? I still think we should call the cops,” Kennedy said.
“No. Now that I left the hospital, he has no more need to torture me. He can keep my stuff, I couldn’t care less. I just want to be free and start over.”
“Okay, but you’re not going to spend endless days in bed eating bad food in an attempt to figure things out,” Kate announced. “You’re getting a job.”
“Where?”
“At Kinnections, of course.”
Kennedy and Arilyn high-fived. “Yes, that’s perfect,” Kennedy squealed. “We’re growing so fast we’re getting behind and need to hire another assistant. You start tomorrow.”
“What? I can’t work for Kinnections! I know nothing about matchmaking.”
“You don’t need to,” Kate said briskly. “We’ll teach you what you need, but you already have half the battle won. You’ve always had an amazing instinct about people. You just need to rediscover that part again.”
The idea was so ridiculous she almost believed it could work. She’d learn about her friends’ business, keep busy, and help out. She’d get paid. And what better environment than around the people she loved best?
“I’m not letting you say no, so just get over it,” Kate said.
Gen grinned. “You’re always so bossy.”
“Yeah, Slade loves it.”
Ken rolled her eyes. “Oh please, he’s so the dom in your relationship. You get all gooey when he commands you to do all sorts of nasty things.”
Kate sniffed. “What’s Nate studying now, Ken? Anal play?”
Gen laughed at the red flush on Kennedy’s cheeks. Priceless. Her geeky rocket scientist had a passion for studying academics and new subjects that included the best ways to have sex. His inventiveness had kept their sex life quite active. Many times Kate said she’d found Ken asleep at her desk in a desperate effort for some actual sleep.
A pang of longing hit. That should’ve been her and David. She wondered if there’d ever be someone who’d understand and love her for who she was, warts and issues included. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, her confidence was badly shaken. Would a man ever want her with such a raw passion and longing? Was it even possible for her?
The memory of Wolfe’s kiss flashed before her. The solid press of his erection against her thigh. The blistering heat of his skin. The thrust of his tongue claiming her mouth. Yes. With David there was a physical connection, especially in the beginning, but it faded to technique and never cut deep. Just that one kiss from Wolfe gave her a taste of what he’d bring to his partners in bed. Was that wrong to crave such passion for herself?
She pushed the thoughts out of her mind and tried to focus on the present. “If you think I can be helpful, I’ll do it.”
Kate smiled with satisfaction. “Good. Nine o’clock. This is going to be epic.”
“But first you have to shower,” Ken piped up.
Arilyn patted her shoulder. “Why don’t you clean up and we’ll order some takeout from Mugs? We can have a movie night.”
“Oh, how about The Heat with Sandra Bullock? That was hysterical,” Kate said.
Ken sighed. “You and your comedies. How about Magic Mike?”
Arilyn shook her head. “We’ve seen that together three times. There’s no plot.”
Ken lifted a brow. “And your point is?”
Gen got up from the bed and headed for the shower. A glimmer of hope flared. She’d get to the other side eventually, and things would work out. And if she was a surgical dropout and future spinster, so what? She had great friends, family, and a working brain and body.