It was pretty awesome.
Sleepiness began to claim her again. She leaned her head against the side of the couch and yawned. “I hate losing.”
“I know.”
“You won fair and square. I’m yours for the taking.” His brow shot up. “For a secret, I mean. Mind out of the gutter, please.”
“Was just concerned you wanted to end your anestrous state.”
She couldn’t help it. Gen threw her head back and laughed. “One day. Not tonight.”
“Good to know.” She waited for his question, knowing it would be about David. How sad it was that she’d begun shutting Wolfe out under her fiancé’s demands. Soon she’d need to admit her wrong and hope Wolfe could forgive her. Now, at least, she could offer the truth for anything he wanted. “What was the thought that crossed your mind right before you decided to jump out the window?”
The question threw her off. Wringing her hands, she thought back to the one critical moment before she ran. Before she blew up her controlled, perfect, orderly life. And told the truth.
“I used to have this inner voice that would talk to me. Tell me things. Either my subconscious or gut, not sure. I got used to trusting it. But after a few months with David, it started to become quiet. At first I thought it was because I didn’t need it anymore. I had the man I loved. But then I realized the loss was dangerous, because I was just afraid to listen to it anymore. The voice died.” She sucked in a breath, trembling. “Right before the wedding, I heard it again. The voice kept telling me one thing over and over.”
“What?”
“Run,” she said simply. “So I ran.”
The emotion hit her hard. Wrung out, sad, confused, she slumped on the couch, not able to keep up her defenses any longer. Quietly, Wolfe got up and disappeared. Came back with a pillow. He laid it gently under her head, tucked the covers around her, and smoothed her hair back. The tenderness of his touch made a purr sound deep in her throat. She closed her eyes and welcomed the darkness, where nothing else mattered and no thoughts were needed.
“The voice was right, sweetheart. It always is. And thank God you listened.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead, but she was already sinking into sleep.
seven
WHERE ARE WE going?”
After she’d moped around a bit, Wolfe declared they were going on a road trip to keep her mind occupied. After more cereal, and some grumbling, she agreed and climbed into the car.
“A place where dreams come true.”
“In a tiny hidden upstate town? Wait—is it the spa? I’d love that! We can do dual massages and mud body baths to release toxins. Arilyn has been begging me to do one but I haven’t had the time.”
“Not the spa. You couldn’t pay me enough to put mud on my body and release anything. I happen to like my toxins.”
“Oh.” She buckled her seat belt and thought hard. “Shopping? Women love shopping when they’re depressed. Not that I’m a big shopper, but I’d be willing to try it. I do love shoes.”
“I don’t. I want to have fun, too, not be slowly tortured by girly shit. This place will cover both of our needs.”
“Fine. You gonna tell me?”
“Nope. First rule of the road—keep on going and don’t look back.” The shadow over his face told her he’d experienced pain she couldn’t imagine. Gen didn’t want to. Right now, she trusted him to do what was right. The security of such trust humbled her, but if she tried to express it he’d only shrug the whole dialogue off and get embarrassed. Instead, she accepted his direction for the second day and nodded. “Then I’m ready to find out.”
“Let’s drive.”
The rain had stopped in the middle of the night. The day was hot, the top was down, and Gen let the wind tear at her hair, whip her face, and bathe her in sensation. Blue sky whizzed by streaked with cotton-ball clouds. Once again, there wasn’t a lot of talking. Wolfe pumped up the radio as Imagine Dragons sung about demons and they headed into town.
The memory hit hard. David driving toward Newport for a getaway weekend. The excitement that curled in her belly, knowing they’d finally be alone without hospital beepers or prying eyes. She’d stared at his godlike profile and wondered again how she’d gotten so lucky to have him notice her.
The car had hit something in the road and the tire blew out. They’d spent hours on the side of the road, on Memorial Day weekend, waiting for Triple A. Gen was used to mini disasters and approached life with a sense of humor. But as she watched David get more and more surly, the knot in her stomach began to tighten. When the car was finally fixed, he’d accused her of flirting with the mechanic. Told her if she hadn’t been distracting him, he would’ve seen the debris in the road. The attack was finely launched, with cutting sarcasm but delivered with an angelic grace that confused her. By the time they got to the bed-and-breakfast, she was apologizing and not really understanding what it was for.