Searching for Beautiful(114)

Her gaze slid past Wolfe, who watched her with a burning intensity. “Maybe.”

“Why is it even a question?” Lance demanded. “You’re too far into your residency to quit. If seeing David was the main reason, you shouldn’t hesitate.”

Her family stared, waiting for an answer. She didn’t have one yet. She wanted to go back, but this time she refused to let anything or anyone stand in her way. Was she ready to recommit to endless work shifts, a sparse personal life, and the all-consuming resentment of everyone at the hospital? Was she looking at things differently because of her feelings for Wolfe? Gen finally spoke. “I need a little more time, Lance. If I go back, I know what’s waiting for me. I love medicine, but it’s a grueling schedule and takes everything out of me.”

Lance shook his head. “The longer you wait, the harder it will be. I say dive back in. Start on Monday. It’s not like you have a personal life or a fiancé anymore.”

Gina and Maria gasped. “Lancelot, you do not talk like that to your sister!”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Mom. I just wanted to point out she has no barriers any longer. I’m sorry, Gen.”

Gen waved her hand in the air. “I know what you meant. I’ll make my decision soon. I’d appreciate the support without pushing me about it.”

Lance tightened his lips but remained silent. Jim glared at Wolfe as if the entire dialogue was completely his fault. And Izzy ducked her head, concentrating on her plate like it held all the answers in the world.

What on earth was going on?

No announcements came at dinner, so Gen decided to take the leap. “Izzy, will you come upstairs with me? To talk?”

Her family took the lead and shooed them away, telling her they’d clean up. They climbed the spiral staircase and went to their old room. As they opened the door, a slight mustiness rolled over them, but much of the room was still the same. Pink walls. Shelves and knickknacks and the same scrolled white furniture. Same mirror with postcards, stickers, and old pictures. The beds had been replaced with one queen-size mattress for guests, but as they sat on the bed, all the years growing up together came surging back.

Izzy sat next to her. “Our room seems like it’s been locked in a time capsule. I wonder if that old Playgirl magazine is still in the closet,” she commented. “Mr. September.”

Gen laughed. “I was such a wreck Mom would find it! Should we check?”

The old wicked grin curved her sister’s lips. “Definitely.” She dragged a chair over, opened the closet, and reached up high to move one of the ceiling tiles. When they discovered one had broken, they’d kept the hiding spot as the go-to place that Maria would never find. Izzy jumped off the chair, waving a worn, tattered magazine in the air. “Got it!”

“No way. Bring it over.”

They squeezed together on the bed, flipping through the pages. Giggles broke through as they commented on their old favorites, groaned over some obscene positions, and reminisced about the good old days. “Every time Mom made us go to church, I’d think about this magazine to get even,” Izzy said. “Talk about Catholic guilt.”

Gen tugged at her sister’s ponytail. “I used to try and come up with good sins for Father Jonas. But when Tim and I fooled around in his car and he got to second base, I refused to share. I remember confessing to God at night in secret, hoping it would be good enough.”

Izzy laughed. “I never confessed anything I wasn’t truly sorry about,” she quipped. “Maybe that’s why I never went to confession.”

Their gazes met and they burst into laughter. Her throat tightened with emotion. “I missed you,” she said softly.

Izzy nodded. Her hand slowly reached out to snag hers. Gen almost held her breath, hoping it was real. “I missed you, too. I—I don’t want to talk about the past now. Or how screwed up everything got. I came over tonight because I realized that as bad as things were between us, I wasn’t there when you really needed me. After David. I thought you had a picture-perfect relationship, like the rest of your life. I never suspected he was trying to control or hurt you.”

“Yeah, I didn’t realize it at first either. And by the time I did, I was also keeping the secret. It happened so gradually. And then it felt too late. We were engaged, and everyone loved him, and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.”

Izzy stared at their linked hands. “Funny, huh. You lived your life not wanting to disappoint anyone. I lived mine trying to do it first, so I’d never have expectations to fail. Guess we both made mistakes.”