“Hey, sis, how’s it going?” Danica asked.
“Great and sucky at the same time,” Lacy said. She flopped onto a deck chair.
“Give it to me straight,” Danica said.
“Oh, Dan. Dane’s wonderful. He’s so darn nice and, well, you know how he is. That’s not new. We agreed not to fall in love with each other, and now it’s all I can think of. He had to bail his friend out of jail and—”
“What?” Danica said.
“Yeah, remember I told you about his best friend, Rob? You saw the pics. I emailed them to you months ago.”
“Oh, yeah, the brown-haired shark hunter guy,” Danica said.
Lacy looked out at the water, remembering the other night when she’d found Dane sitting in the sand. She smiled at the memory.
“Yeah, well, he’s going through a rough patch with his wife and he’s a recovered alcoholic—well, he was. His wife left him, and he started drinking a few weeks ago. He started a fight and got picked up by the police. The whole thing was really sad. The guy’s in his forties, and he’s so broken over things with his wife. But Dane was so emotional. He’s always said that Rob was like a brother to him, and today I saw it. He was so careful with him. Protective. He even offered to go to AA meetings with him,” Lacy said.
“I think Dane’s a good guy, Lace. It sounds like he’s really trying all around, but I thought you were supposed to be learning about his business.”
“I am. He took me to the library, and he was so cute. He had all these books about sharks, and he wanted me to read them, to get familiar with the sharks. But, Danica, I’d stayed up all Sunday night reading about sharks for some stupid reason. Anyway, he took me to a new aquarium, and I pet a baby shark. You’d be so proud of me. I couldn’t go into the shark room, though. Totally freaked me out. I stood in the doorway, clinging to Dane’s arm,” Lacy said.
“No panic attack?”
“No, but I wasn’t in the room with them. I stood in the doorway.”
“That’s awesome, Lacy. That’s a big step, but don’t be surprised if you have another panic attack at some point. It would be surprising if you were able to desensitize yourself in a day,” Danica said.
“Oh, and he got advice on immersion therapy to help me through my fear.”
“Yeah, about that…”
“Danica Joy, please tell me that you did not do what I think you did.” Lacy was angry and overjoyed at the same time.
“I didn’t do anything but answer a phone call…and maybe give a little advice,” Danica admitted.
“He called you?” Now the picture was becoming clearer. “So you were the friend he mentioned. And you didn’t call me and tell me? How could you?”
“Lacy, if I had told you, you’d have been angry with me, and it’s obvious how you feel about him and how he feels about you. Besides, I did more than just give him advice. I told him that if he hurt you, Blake would kill him.”
She heard the smile in Danica’s voice. “That’s just great. So he went behind my back to my sister.” Lacy wanted to be furious at his sneakiness, but she couldn’t. No one would do what he did unless he really—Oh God—loved her.
“Lace, not many guys would go that far. I was impressed,” Danica admitted.
Lacy sighed. “Yeah, I guess I am, too. He’s not like any other guy I know. That’s kind of what I wanted to ask you about. I’ve been thinking about everything, and I wonder if you might be right, that my panic attack wasn’t just about the shark. Could it really have been about everything? The shark, the memories, and the idea that after fifteen months I was finally with Dane? Could it have scared the shit out of me?” Lacy asked.
“It could have, but, Lace, you have to be careful. You can’t just assume you’ll be fine on a boat when he’s tagging. That’s really dangerous,” Danica reminded her.
“I’m not going tagging with him. Don’t worry. Danica?” Lacy asked.
“Yeah?”
“I really, really like him. I feel like those fifteen months set us up to just fall in love the moment we saw each other face-to-face. I know that’s crazy.” Lacy leaned against the deck rail and ran her finger over the rough wooden edge.
“It’s not so crazy. You guys shared your lives. You just did it from afar. You shared your secrets, Lacy. You shared your hearts. So in a way, you did set yourselves up for just that,” Danica said.
“But shouldn’t I feel something about the fact that he was with other women during that time? How can someone be intimate with another person when they have feelings for someone else? I just don’t get that,” Lace admitted.
“Oh, Lacy, intimacy is so different from what you’re defining. Sex is sex. It can be meaningless, filling-a-gap or easing-a-frustration sex, or it can be intimate and loving sex. Sex is not exclusive to love,” she said.
Lacy sighed. “I know, but...”
“From what you’ve told me, he’s not trying to hide who he was. He’s being honest and, Lacy, honesty is the most important thing in a relationship.” Danica paused, then said, “Haven’t you ever done anything in your life that you would be mortified if someone found out about?”
“No,” Lacy said.
“Nothing? Ever? You never cheated on a test or made out with a teacher? You never had sex on the roof of your high school? Or masturbated to a picture of your best friend’s father?” Danica asked.
“Geez, Danica, what kind of people did you help when you were a therapist? No, I haven’t done those things,” Lacy said, then flopped into a chair.
“Well, you really are perfect, little sister,” Danica teased. “Listen. Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re not cut out to be with him no matter what you feel for him. It takes a really strong, special person to forgive a past that is so different from her own.”
“You make it sound like I’m conceited or I think I’m above him somehow,” Lacy said.
“No. I’m just being realistic. If you had done some of those things, you might understand the whole using-sex-as-an-escape thing, but you didn’t, so to you it’s foreign. How did you ever forgive Dad?”
Lacy pictured Danica’s serious dark eyes watching her, waiting for an answer. “He’s my father. I didn’t forgive him so easily, and I’m not sure I have completely forgiven him yet. I have my moments when the whole thing still upsets me, but then I realize that he just happened to love two women…at the same time.”
“But isn’t that worse than not loving any and being honest about it? He’s not living a double life, unless…did you guys say you were exclusive for all those months?”
“No, Danica, you know we didn’t.” Lacy stood and paced.
“Then it sounds to me like you need to make a decision. You’re either in the relationship and willing to forget his past—really forget it, as in, not bring it up every time you have an argument—or you’re out and you let him go and move on.”
“God, sometimes I hate you,” Lacy said.
“That’s what big sisters are for. What are you doing tonight?” Danica asked.
“It sounds like I’m making a life-altering decision."
Chapter Eighteen
BACK ON TREAT’S boat, Dane stepped out of the shower, wondering if he should have made a move toward Lacy. Her comment about her boss gave him hope, but she hadn’t invited him in after they spent the day together. Hell, she hadn’t made any innuendos either. Now he was stuck on the boat missing her. Dane wasn’t used to having to chase women, much less having to refrain from chasing them. The hell with it. He picked up his keys and headed for the car. He was the man in the relationship, and it was time he acted like it. If she didn’t want to be with him, she’d have to tell him to his face. Tonight. Now.
His phone vibrated. He snagged it, hoping it was Lacy, but it was from Hugh.
Dane read the text. Did u fix things w/Lacy?
Dane smiled and texted back. Trying. Thanks 4 pushing me.
He climbed into the car and a few seconds later his phone vibrated again.
Can I come over? Confused, he scrolled back on the message and realized it was a text from Lacy. Lacy! He texted back. Of course. What’s wrong?
Another text rolled in from Hugh. She’ll come around.
Dane didn’t answer his text. He was too worried about Lacy. He pushed speed dial, and Lacy answered on the first ring.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing…I just…I didn’t feel like eating dinner alone,” she said.
He leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes, sighing with relief. You won’t fall in love, huh? I must be doing something right. “Why don’t I come get you and we’ll go grab a bite.”
“You were just here. I can come there,” she offered.
Waiting will be torturous. “I’m in the car. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He turned the car around with the phone tucked between his ear and his chin. “What are you hungry for?”
“Your company.”
DANE STOOD ON Lacy’s front porch with a bottle of wine and his leg bouncing with too much nervous energy to calm. He smoothed his black, short-sleeved button-down shirt against his stomach and checked the drawstring on his linen pants. What is taking her so long? Maybe she’s in the shower. Maybe she changed her mind. Shit.