She nodded, wiping at her eyes.
“Second,” I continued. “You know I’ve never even had a boyfriend, so it’s not like I’m missing out. You guys are the ones who need me, not some hot guy whose name I don’t even know. If I’ve waited this long to date or, um, ‘be’ with a guy—” Oh, God. My cheeks were on fire again. “—it’s not going to hurt me to wait a little longer.”
The truth was, I had zero experience with men. I’d always been too shy, too smart, too young compared to everyone around me. I’d taken accelerated classes all through school, graduating college before my peers even had their high school diplomas. I’d been hired by one of the biggest software companies in the world before I’d turned eighteen. A prodigy, they called me. Or if you wanted to get a little more accurate: an awkward, geeky, gay, virgin, computer-whiz who had never even kissed a guy, much less done the things that I’d suddenly been desperate for yesterday, when I’d seen him.
The idea of not dating, not touching, not wanting or, God, getting fucked by anyone—for as long as Sarah needed this marriage-in-name-only—it truly hadn’t seemed like a big deal when I’d proposed it to her. I hadn’t known what I was missing, so it hadn’t felt like I’d be missing out on anything at all.
I still didn’t know what I was missing, I reminded myself sternly.
So why did it suddenly feel like I could close my eyes and feel the blond man’s hands on me, those strong hands I’d only seen for a moment, but could picture clearly even now, running up my body, his touch licking me like fire, heating me from the inside out, making me—
“Dev? You okay, honey?”
My eyes snapped open, and I stifled a groan. I felt like I was going crazy. I had to find a way to forget that I’d ever seen that guy, and go back to being happy with the choices that I’d made. I knew what was important, and what was real.
These visions that were suddenly plaguing me… they were never going to happen.
5
~ Maksim ~
“Tell me about Devin,” I said to Sarah, my voice bouncing off the slides and swings in the children’s play area with an echoing resonance that made Dane frown at me.
“Stop it,” Wes said under his breath, smacking my arm. “This is a playdate.”
I turned away from them for a second, trying to quell the rising tsunami of urgency inside me. This woman knew my mate. She was married to the man. I needed to know what she knew. I needed to convince her that she didn’t want him. I needed… I needed Devin, and the need was starting to border on desperation.
I wasn’t used to feeling this way about anyone, and it was making me crazy. I remembered how wrecked Dane had looked, when he’d run from his fated mate after first claiming him. I hadn’t understood at the time, even though I’d tried to be sympathetic. Men were enjoyable, but not essential.
Not before now.
I rubbed my arm where Wes had smacked me, embarrassed that I’d given in and used my power on Sarah. Even more embarrassed that my friends had caught me pushing.
I rarely used my dragon’s power to compel humans with my voice. When I had done so in the past, it had generally been for mutual enjoyment or harmless convenience. I hadn’t intended to compel Sarah just now, but my dragon had grown impatient and seized the opportunity as soon as she showed up.
My otherself was getting impatient. Earlier in the morning, when I’d overheard Wes tell Dane that he was taking Elise to the park to meet up with Sarah and her daughter, my dragon had surged within me. I’d invited myself along, the words bursting out of my mouth without thinking as my otherself pushed me to do whatever it took to claim my mate. My spontaneous outburst had left both men staring at me blankly. They’d looked baffled, as if I’d spoken in a foreign language.
“You want to come to the park?” Wes had finally asked, cocking his head to the side with a quizzical look. He clearly had no idea why I’d be interested in spending the day with a couple of toddlers.
“I thought you were heading back to your own territory today,” Dane had added.
It had been two days since I’d found my mate, and I still hadn’t told my friends about Devin. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. As desperate as I felt to hurry up and claim my mate, I’d never wanted to be a home wrecker, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to go about making him mine without ruining the lives of the young family that Devin already had.
Ty had been surprisingly perceptive about my reluctance, and the outgoing soldier had kept his mouth closed about it when we’d returned to the party room the other day. I’d appreciated his discretion, but this morning, as Dane and Wes had stood there staring at me, I’d realized that I had to tell them.