At the moment, I was having a hard time remembering my own name… much less anything else.
Every nerve in my body felt hyper-aware of That Man, and no matter how much I tried to pay attention to what was going on in front of me, everything in the room that wasn’t him seemed to fade into the background.
“…should get Holly and Elise together for a playdate this week,” William was saying.
“We’d love that, Wes,” Sarah answered. Wes, not William. Wesley. Right. “Holly has a well-child check up tomorrow afternoon, but maybe we could get together the day after? If it’s not raining, we could bundle them up and take them to Priest Point Park.”
Sarah and Wes continued to make plans, and Holly started squirming to be let down. Holding her was the only thing distracting me from my reaction to the devastating blond man across the room, and I squeezed her a little too tightly, hoping in vain that she would settle down and decide to stay in my arms.
“Down, Dev,” she insisted, bracing her arms against my shoulder and pushing her upper body away from me with all her might. “Holly go down!”
Giving in with a little sigh, I set her on her feet and rubbed my sweating palms against the sides of my pants. I wasn’t going to turn and look. I was Not Going To.
Sarah was my wife—I’d known her for half my life and been married to her for two months—but that didn’t seem to matter. Within moments of stepping through the door a few minutes ago, I’d been blindsided by a hot, raging, carnal lust… for him.
A man I’d never seen before, but somehow felt like I’d instantly recognized.
I’d never felt anything like it. It’s not that I hadn’t been turned on before—I’d known I was gay, well, forever, and even if I’d never had the opportunity to do anything about it, I’d certainly felt attracted to other men—but this was different. My whole body felt flushed, hot and electric and instantly attuned to the blond man behind me in a way that felt almost mystical, as if I could literally feel him. It was a sort of hyper-awareness that told me exactly where he was in the room without having to turn to look.
And, oh God, I wanted him.
I was thankful I’d worn a loose shirt today. It was untucked, and hopefully that was enough to hide the rock-hard evidence of just how much this stranger was affecting me. I swallowed, trying to focus on slowing my breathing instead of on my reaction to him. Jesus, I was practically panting, and I knew I needed to calm myself down. I desperately needed to distract myself and think about something, anything, other than crossing the room and begging a man I’d never seen before to fuck the living daylights out of me.
What was wrong with me?
And then I felt it—the man was on the move.
Other than that first, breathless moment when I’d walked in and seen him, I hadn’t allowed myself to look again. But as crazy as it sounded, I didn’t need to look to know. I could feel it. He was walking across the room now, coming closer. Coming for me. Exactly what I wanted… and what I couldn’t let happen.
“Sarah, I— I’ve got to go,” I blurted, interrupting her conversation with Wendall. No, Wesley.
I didn’t wait for her response or offer any excuse. If I didn’t leave Right Now I was going to break every vow I’d made to my wife by throwing myself on this stranger who I suddenly wanted with such a desperate, unreasonable urgency.
And I couldn’t do that.
I loved Sarah. I loved Holly. I even loved Luke’s baby, growing in Sarah’s belly. I’d promised to take care of all of them, and I never broke my word. Ever.
So I ignored what my body and mind and heart and soul were telling me to do, and instead, I did the only thing that would make it possible to keep all my promises.
I ran.
3
~ Maksim ~
Everything was different now, and yet no one seemed to notice but me.
Dane was practically licking his lips, still looking across the room at Wes as if his mate were one of the cupcakes piled on the table next to him. Ty had walked up and joined us, and he and Dane were talking about something while Dane undressed Wes with his eyes. About his daughter, Elise, maybe. Or the undersea exhibit on the first floor. Or maybe gas prices, or football, or knitting, or The Walking Dead, for all I knew.
I wasn’t listening.
I didn’t care.
It was all background noise.
A moment ago, I’d started walking toward my mate without thinking, pulled toward him as inevitably as if by gravity. When he’d left so abruptly I’d stopped mid-stride. Frozen. I didn’t even notice that Ty had followed and put his hand on my shoulder until he gave me a little tug. I ignored him.