He'd called the day before with the news that Luke was alive, and it hadn't occurred to me until after we'd hung up that finding him must have been the reason Maks went to Alaska in the first place. I had no idea how he'd managed to do it, or pulled off the miracle of finding him alive, but I was suddenly sure that he'd done it for me. And that was … amazing.
I hadn't been able to stop smiling since.
And Sarah hadn't been able to stop crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she'd never looked happier. She didn't let go of my hand until Maks and another man helped Luke through the door, thin and shaky but one-hundred percent alive, and then she dropped it and ran to him.
"Sarah," he said, his voice breaking. He leaned on Maks for support, but wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him with a look of utter bliss on his lean face.
I could see that Sarah had been right. He and Sarah really were two halves of the same whole. It was unmistakable now that they were together, and even though I'd never noticed it before, it was easy for me to recognize now-because I felt the same thing for Maks.
Luke was one of my best friends, and I'd been so focused on taking care of Sarah after we'd heard that he'd died that I hadn't fully let myself grieve for him. Watching them together, the tears I hadn't realized I'd been holding back for all of these months finally came. I took off my glasses so I could wipe my eyes. As happy as I was to see him, though, this time was his and Sarah's. They had eyes only for each other.
And that was fine, because even though it had only been a week since I'd seen Maks, I needed to be with him. I needed him, period.
And Sarah had been right about another thing. Maks was looking at me the way Luke looked at her, and it made my breath catch. His eyes were glowing, burning into me from across the room as he smiled at me. Oh, God. I wanted him. And now there was no reason not to go to him.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the door. Down the hall. To my room.
My pulse was racing, and I knew it was time to keep my promise to Sarah and go after my own happiness. I wanted to see Maks every day, and laugh at his jokes, and tell him that he made my heart pound every time he was near. I wanted his voice to be the first thing I heard when I woke up in the morning and his face the last thing I saw before sleeping. I wanted him to pick me up for lunch and hold my hand while we ate and always look at me the way he was right now. But first, I wanted to do what I'd been dreaming about since the moment I'd first seen him.
I was finally going to ask Maks to fuck me.
13
~ Maksim ~
The entire time I had been away from Devin, I'd felt the pull to return to him. It was in my mind, and my heart-it was something almost physical-and as soon as I walked into his house my whole body started humming with the need to go to him, to hold him, to finally make him mine. Which made following him to his room one of the hardest things I'd ever done, because I knew he wanted it, too, and I was going to have to say no.
A month ago, if someone had told me that I'd deny myself something that I wanted more than my next breath, I would have laughed in their face. Denying myself had never been in my nature, but Devin was more important to me than what I wanted. And even though I knew he wanted me … even knew that he felt free to give himself to me, now that Luke was back … I also knew something else about him.
He'd told me his stories during the weeks we'd spent together, told me silly things, and sad things, and things that he normally held close to his heart. Even some things that he probably hadn't meant to say. He'd told me things that had made his brow furrow and his fists clench. Stories of his life growing up, and the things that had shaped him into the man he was today.
And I'd listened to all of it, captivated, because they were his stories. I'd listened so closely that I'd heard more than just the words he'd spoken-I'd also heard him telling me about what mattered to him, and why keeping his word to Sarah was so important. Why honoring his marriage vows-no matter why they had been spoken-meant so much to him.
And because I loved him, I wasn't going to be the one to make him break those vows now-no matter how much I wanted what he was offering.
"Maks." He said my name like it was a blessing, stepping into my arms the minute he'd closed his bedroom door behind us. He slid his hands over my shoulders and pressed himself against me, and when he raised his lips up to mine he was irresistible. He was everything I wanted. He was mine.
"You're killing me, baby," I said against his lips, trying to make myself push him away even as I started to kiss him. My dragon roared to life, insisting that we claim him, now, and the fire rose within me hot and fast, coming close to burning away my resistance.
Devin felt my heat and gasped into my mouth, grinding himself against me until I almost forgot my good intentions. My hands were on his ass and I was licking my way down his neck as I tried to remember why it was important to stop. My name kept falling from his lips in panting little whimpers that made me want to fuck him until he shouted it.
But.
I.
Could.
Wait.
Because I loved him, and I knew that once I claimed him, he'd be mine forever … and I never wanted him to regret that.
"Devin," I managed to say, pushing his hips away from me with a groan. "No."
"No?" he repeated, looking dazed. Licking those soft lips that I was suddenly imagining wrapped around my cock. Twining his fingers in the back of my hair and pulling himself closer to me again.
My otherself ignored my struggle to do the right thing and reached for him, heat flaring between us as the bond we shared roared to life. Devin gasped, lurching against me, so fucking tempting that I almost gave in, almost took what we both wanted. Resisting felt physically painful, but he was worth it. Somehow, I managed to put a little space between us again.
"Maks?" he asked, biting his lip and suddenly looking unsure of himself. "I- I've dreamed of you. Don't you want me, too?"
"Yes," I said, running my thumb over the lip he'd just had between his teeth, wishing it were my tongue instead. "But I want to do it right, Devin."
He sucked my thumb into his mouth, looking up at me with those light eyes that I could get lost in as he stroked it with his tongue.
"You're still married," I groaned, forcing myself to remind him of the reason we were going to wait as I pulled my thumb out of his wet, seductive heat.
Right then, if he'd told me that it didn't matter, I would have had him naked and underneath me before he drew his next breath. But he hesitated, and despite his next words, I knew by the look on his face that I'd been right.
It did matter to him.
"I know, Maks, but … it's okay. I want you," he said, clearly trying to ignore the doubts I could see in his eyes. "I don't think I can stand waiting anymore."
"I want you too, love. Don't ever doubt it. But I want all of you, not just your body. I don't ever want you to feel like you had to compromise your own heart to be with me." I made myself take a step back. "I can wait."
"Oh, my God. I don't think I can, Maks," he said, blushing. "I know you're right but … " he was biting his lip again and staring at my cock. Which was, of course, as hard as a rock now. All too eager to be inside him. His hand unconsciously moved over his own straining erection, and I groaned, backing up against the door to add a few more inches of space between us.
"Devin, you need to stop looking at me like that." Without meaning to, I let the words come out with my dragon's voice, an echoing vibration that should have compelled him to obey me.
But he was my fated mate, and I couldn't force him against his will.
"I can't help it," he whispered, ignoring the power of my otherself. Still staring at me hungrily. "I want … I want you to fuck me so bad. Maks, God, I've been dreaming about it. Every night."
"Tell me," I said, torturing myself.
His hand was still moving over his cock, stroking it slowly through the fabric of his pants as he stared back at me. Begging me with his eyes to do something about it. "I dream that you're behind me," he said. "Touching me."
"Where?"
"If I show you, will you do it?"
"Yes," I promised. I clenched my hands into fists, determined not to reach for him. "Just not tonight."
He hesitated for a moment, then pulled his shirt off, revealing all that smooth skin that I wanted to feel underneath me.
"When I'm dreaming, you're behind me. Putting your hands on me, like this." He ran his hands up his slim abs, letting his fingers graze his small, pink nipples. Sucking in a breath when they did, then letting his hands linger there, circling and pinching them as his breath started coming faster, making that vein at the base of his throat throb.