I groaned. There was too much wanting and not enough having, and it was frustrating as hell. But not as frustrating as the thought that I might make him unhappy. I couldn’t stand that. Devin’s happiness mattered more to me than my own… which wasn’t a sentiment I was used to, but which I knew without a doubt was true.
It was why I had left when he had panicked, and why I had stayed away, even though every instinct inside me was screaming to go back to him.
“Dane,” I said, suddenly wondering if it was just me, or if this was something that all fated mates went through. “When Sarah took me to meet Devin, he would barely talk to me, would barely look at me. Was it that way with Wes? Does the mating bond scare humans?”
“No,” Dane said. Not the answer I’d been hoping for. “Wesley was very… eager.”
I could tell by the look on his face that he was enjoying the memories of just how “eager” his mate could be. A year may not be that long in a dragon’s lifetime, but it should have at least been long enough that Dane didn’t still look like a lovesick fool every time he thought of his mate, I thought with a grumpy scowl. A lovesick, horny, fool. I groaned, scrubbing a hand over my face.
Or maybe that was just me.
I’d never denied myself when I’d wanted something before—or someone— and I’d had no idea that it would be this hard. But then again, I’d never wanted anyone as badly as I did Devin… or cared as much about him wanting me, too.
Being away from him made me feel like a piece of me was missing. I had survived two hundred years without the man and been just fine. How could everything change in a single week? I hadn’t been able to claim him yet, hadn’t given him my fire and completed the mating bond. I shouldn’t feel so connected.
I swallowed hard at the thought of “claiming” Devin, stifling another groan. It could only be done when I was inside him, and the thought brought up such a vivid image that I could almost feel Devin’s tight heat around me. My cock instantly hardened and jerked against my stomach as my otherself urged me to jump straight off the ledge and shift, to fly back to claim my mate as fast as wings could carry me.
I pushed the thought away, working hard to slow my breathing.
My palm tingled, still carrying the impression from the one time I’d touched Devin. My sense-memory instantly recalling the slight end-of-day roughness of Devin’s jaw, the heat of his skin. I’d wanted to feel more, to run my hands over every inch of him until I knew his body by heart and learned all the ways he liked to be touched. It had been almost impossible to pull my hand away, but his look of panic had cut through me like a knife. As desperately as I’d wanted to fuck the man, to own his body and heart and soul, the thought of hurting him in any way was unbearable.
I’d felt Devin’s alarm, and it had made me stop. It had made me leave. But even a week later and almost a hundred miles away, I could still feel him, and that made me yearn to go back.
“Dane, you didn’t give Wesley your fire for months after you found him,” I said, referring to the way our kind bonded with their mates. “Did you feel… connected… to him, before that?”
The other dragon nodded. “I always thought it was because his mind was so receptive to connecting with another, because of his twin-bond with Ty.”
I frowned. Was that it? I had no idea if Devin was a twin. Or if he had any siblings at all. I really knew nothing about him, and that thought was suddenly intolerable.
I’d never been very curious about the men I’d dated in the past, but Devin was my mate. I wanted to know everything about the beautiful man that I already considered my own. Where had Devin grown up? How did he like his coffee in the morning? Did he even drink coffee? How did he spend his Saturdays? Did he snore? Was he a cover hog?
No, I couldn’t let myself think about getting Devin in bed, but the rest...
“Dane, I’ve got to go.”
“Already?” he asked, his voice brimming with suppressed laughter. “We just got here.”
Dane and Wes had finally gotten fed up with my moping, and the night before, Dane and I had driven out to a state park where we’d had both the space and the privacy to shift into our otherselves. Under cover of darkness, I had followed Dane to the cave that the other dragon had claimed when he’d taken this territory for his own. It was high in the Olympic Mountains, and less than an hour’s flight from his home.
Flying at night made it easier to avoid detection in these busy, modern times, but now, in the light of morning, my silvery-white hide gave me the advantage over Dane’s black one. I could launch high enough in the sky that it was unlikely anyone would see me against the winter-gray backdrop… especially if I flew above the clouds.