“I know I fucked up,” he said. Getting his brother to play the role of being an escort had been a mistake. He should have introduced them like a normal couple. Instead, he’d been a bastard and gone behind her back.
“Yeah. You fucked up in a big way. I can’t believe you did that to me,” she said.
Brad heard the words while he was nervous about what he had hiding in his jacket. The burning inside him grew.
“Help me,” he asked.
“What?”
“I’m really sorry, and the only consolation I can give you right now is that Isaac does love you. I know you don’t believe me, but, Noelle, I need your help.”
He’d gotten her attention as he began to close up inside. The struggle to breathe began as he saw the grave-stone in his head. Through his own useless acts, he’d been responsible for the death of a wife and child. He hadn’t been able to talk to Ben. He’d left Ben to go to his apartment and find Noelle.
Staring at his friend the usual peace he felt was failing him. The desire to grab what was inside his jacket and lose himself was strong.
“I can’t handle it anymore. I need your help.”
“What’s going on, Brad?” The tears began to well in his eyes as the hunger gripped him.
One sniff and one drink, and you’ll be at peace. No more remembering. Just the sweet bliss of oblivion.
He shook all over from the effort to try to hold it inside.
He was failing.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“What’s going on, Brad?” she asked again.
Noelle watched as he pulled the spirit bottle out of his jacket along with a couple of hits of some drug. She saw the white powder and knew it was cocaine.
“What the fuck?” She grabbed his arm, pulled him out of the house and down to the shed at the bottom of the garden.
Taking his jacket off, she checked his arms for any signs of open track marks, her heart pounding the whole time. For the past couple of weeks she hadn’t been able to keep her food down. She felt dizzy from the movement and ended up leaning against him for support.
“What’s the matter, Noelle?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I just came over a little light-headed.”
“I shouldn’t have bought this problem to you. It was unfair.” Brad went to grab his jacket. Her dizziness subsided, and she slapped his hand. Then she slapped his face.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, you asshole?”
“I ruined Ben’s life,” he said. His tears returned with full force.
“What?”
“He holds me responsible for the death of his wife. She found out about us when I was hyped up on drugs. She crashed into a tree killing herself and the baby she carried in the process. Ben will never forgive me.” He cried, collapsed to his knees, and sobbed against her waist.
Noelle couldn’t help the tears which came as she mourned for Ben and his wife, and she mourned for her friend as well.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Brad said over and over again.
She held him through his pain. Looking down at the white powder in her hand she planned to dispose of it later. Putting it into her back pocket, she wrapped her arms around him.
“I’ve got you, Brad. Let it all go.”
Closing her eyes, she tried to deal with everything he was telling her. Ben had been married, and he had an affair with Brad. The whole sordid affair had come out while Brad had been in one of his high alcohol and drug moments.
“How could I have been so stupid? I’ve broken him, Noelle. There is nothing I can do to make it right.”
“I don’t ever want to hear you talking like that again, Bradley Welch. Do you hear me? You’re not responsible for the death of someone else’s wife. Ben should know better, and I’m disappointed in him for blaming you,” Noelle said.
He went to grab the drugs and alcohol, but she held it out of his reach. “Give me my fucking stuff,” he said, his anger coming through. She’d seen this side of him before. Grabbing the bottle of alcohol, she smashed it on the tiles in the corner. The dark liquid soaked down and into the wood.
“If you want that, lick it up like a dog, Brad,” she said. Her heart pounded as she spoke the words. Taking a deep breath, she captured his face in her hands forcing him to look at her. “You don’t think you know what you can do to make it right? Well, for once I’d say you fucking pull your shit together and be the Brad he’s come to know. Ben deserves the man you are right now. A strong man, not a man who’s more interested in his own problems than that of the man he claims to love.”
The words were harsh, but being the best of friends she knew she had the right to say them.