“God, Raiden, don’t—”
“If you can’t even stomach thinking of me in a hypothetical bed with a hypothetical woman—”
“Megumi wasn’t so hypothetical.”
He threw his head back on a delighted laugh at her growl. “See? You may think you could have shared me for the sake of my mission to reacquire my family name, but you’re almost sick to your stomach just imagining it in retrospect, even when you know it will never happen.”
“I would have stomached anything to be with you. At least, I would have lived with permanent nausea. I was a beggar who didn’t dream she could be a chooser.”
He crushed her to him, his eyes reproving. “You were never a beggar. You were always my mistress, in all meanings of the word. Mistress of my heart, queen of my life. I was born to love you, too.”
He received her surge as she flung herself at him, squeezed her tighter into himself. “I dreamed of reclaiming my heritage and my family because I thought I’d be able to fill the emptiness inside me with duty and tradition, that they’d be anchors to give my life purpose. Then I found you, and I no longer needed anything but you. I only searched for them again when I lost you, to fill the void your loss left behind. But you’re back with me, and you’re mine, have always been mine like I’ve always been yours. You fill my every emptiness—you are my anchor. You and the family we’ll create together. You are my counterpart, the other half of my soul, the only one who’s ever understood me, the darkness and pain and scars I have inside me, and also the power, resilience and indomitable will. We’re the same, and we’re the only ones to soothe and heal each other, and to give each other the endless love we need.”
After dragging him down for a fierce, thankful kiss, she sank back, playing lovingly with his hair, her brilliant eyes glittering with tears and adoration. “When I wanted to do something that mattered, all I could think of was you, when you were a child, helpless and alone, and I wanted to help all the children who found themselves in your same situation.”