She closed her eyes, wanting to trap that image of him as he looked at her with his whole being, the tremor of truth vibrating through all of him, as he confessed his equal and total involvement.
Then she opened her eyes and she felt as if she’d been born again. Born to a world where she didn’t have to be alone, but had the love of the only person she’d ever loved with everything in her, with all of her past and future, her strengths and scars.
“Now I want you to do something for me,” he said. “Without questions.”
She grabbed his hands, her heart ricocheting in her chest with alarm at the darkness that tinged his face and voice. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
“I want you to leave Japan. Today. I want you to pack your essentials and go back to the States. I’ll pack everything else for you once you give me an address to send it to.”
She gaped at him, her mind shutting down, unable to reconcile the purity of his heartfelt confession with his sudden demand for her to leave.
Had he just confessed his love only to tell her he could no longer afford to have her near? She’d always thought his desire for his family name and heritage was the most important thing to him, that she’d end up losing him sooner rather than later. But after he’d told her she was everything to him, and she believed he meant it, what could his abrupt demand mean?
“Do you trust me?” His clipped question cut through her chaos.
She did, with her life, and now the life of their baby. Whether she’d ever be in his life again... That was what she didn’t trust.
He repeated the question, more urgent and agitated, and she nodded weakly.
“Then trust me now. Trust that I love you, and that I’ll do anything for your love. For our love and our child. Trust that without a single second of doubt...and leave. Now. Please.”
The entreaty for an explanation congealed in her throat. She had to trust he had the best reason for jump-starting her heart, which had been smothered in despair, only to rip it out of her chest by tearing her from his side so abruptly.
She hung limp in his arms as he helped her to her feet, then fetched her stuff and fitted it over her shoulder.
“Steve is waiting outside. He’ll be with you all through. Take this phone. Call me the moment you board the plane.”
Her hand trembled around the phone he’d pushed into it. Then he stood back, deprived her of his warmth and touch. She almost heaped to the ground without his support.
But he nodded for her, imploring her to go. Numb, she acquiesced, stumbled away from him to the open door, found most of her colleagues out of their offices, hanging in the corridor, openly watching. They must have witnessed the whole episode. And no doubt documented it, too. It might already be on the internet and trending on some social media site.
Uncaring what they did, or who saw this, feeling destroyed, even more than the first time she’d walked away from him, she turned to take what felt like her last look at him.
Raiden. Her only love.
He was looking back at her as if she’d taken his heart with her and was dragging it away from his body.
Though he’d made it sound as if she’d definitely see him again, that this was merely some emergency damage-control maneuver he had to execute, she felt this was the end.