“It appears so,” Aidan answered in a flat tone.
“Did Delaney force himself on you?” Garrett’s voice was soft, but his insides tumbled with apprehension.
“I do not remember much of the incident. But I was a willing participant. I wanted and needed the opium desperately enough to debase myself. The episode is merely part of many that haunt my disturbed dreams.”
Jesus. Garrett took a deep breath and exhaled. “Well, Sutherhorne is spreading this gossip about London. I thought you should be aware. I doubt it will reach here; no one knows that you are a Wollstonecraft anyhow—except Dr. Bevan. I swore him to secrecy yesterday.”
“After how low I’ve sunk? I hardly think that gossip will affect me.”
“No, but it will affect your family. Not that you gave us any thought as you made your steep decline into debauchery.”
Aidan met his gaze. “No, Uncle, I didn’t. Not once. Doesn’t bode well for my soul, does it?”
“I am sorry,” Garrett rasped.
“For what?”
“For not reaching out to you, offering help and support. We failed you. And I am heartily sorry for blaming you just now for your decline and the gossip. You do not deserve my censure.”
Aidan exhaled a shuddering breath. “I’ve failed myself, Uncle. I do deserve your censure. And I believe your five minutes is up.” His nephew pulled the blanket tighter about his shoulders.
“Yesterday, Delaney’s parting words to Abbie were for her to take care of you. And to tell you he will see you soon. She believes it is not a threat as such, but I would like to leave Samuel here in Standon in case the brute makes another appearance.” Garrett had already written a letter to Edwin Seward last night to begin an investigation into Colm Delaney. The way things were going, he may have to place Edwin on permanent retainer.
Aidan shook his head. “No. I don’t want a guard. It is my mess. Leave it be.” Regardless of Aidan’s pronouncement to “leave it be,” Garrett would post the letter anyway.
“What did he want of you?” Garett asked.
“He never got a chance to explain. Whatever it was, it has made me realize just how low I’ve sunk. To discover that my nightmares are actual events…it also made me realize I don’t want to live like this anymore. I intend to recover, but it is something I must work through. Alone.”
“I understand. If you don’t mind, I would like Laddie to stay here with you while I see Abbie. Much has happened. I want her in my life. I love her, I always have.” Aidan did not react, nor did he reply. Garrett continued. “Aidan, I have learned so much these past months. How important it is to allow love into my life. To not wallow in fear, as I had with the curse. As a result, I denied my love for Abbie, I broke both our hearts. I aim to make it up to her. Beg her for forgiveness. Make her understand that I have finally left my insecurities behind and am ready to embrace all life has to offer.” Garrett paused, and his heart squeezed with sorrow as he stared at Aidan. “It is a lesson worth learning. I heartily recommend it. I don’t like that we’ve drifted apart. Your family loves you—I love you—and we want nothing more than for you to be returned to us hale and hearty. Allow us to assist you in your recovery—when you are ready.” Garrett smiled warmly. “You are loved, Aidan. Treasured. Not all is lost.”
His nephew looked away, but not before Garrett observed that his eyes were moist. Garrett stepped outside the room, then hesitated. Peeking around the door, he watched as Laddie whimpered and laid his head on Aidan’s leg, staring up at him mournfully. His nephew leaned down, and with great effort, pulled the gangly puppy into his lap. Laddie licked his face, happy to be acknowledged at last. With a gasping sob, Aidan embraced Laddie, burying his face in the dog’s furry neck, his shoulders heaving. Garrett quietly closed the door, his heart squeezing with compassion. Not all is lost. Thank God. It would be a long road to travel, but Aidan had the right of it; he must do most of it alone. He climbed into the carriage and banged on the ceiling. Now to go to Abbie and lay his heart and soul bare.
She greeted him at the door, still looking weary, but beautiful despite it. “Ask your coachman to come in and join Samuel in the kitchen.”
“Jacob, climb down, lad, and come here,” Garrett said.
The young man tethered the reins to the post, then stood before Garrett. “Mrs. Hughes will show you to the kitchen.” He slipped several shillings into Jacob’s hand. “Go with Samuel and enjoy a hearty breakfast at the George Inn, then join Jonas Eaton in room three until I come for you. Relax in front of the fire. Read a book. Order an ale—only one mind—and a lunch. If there is not enough coin here, have the innkeeper add any charges to my bill. I wish for privacy with Mrs. Hughes. Understand?”
Jacob touched his forelock. “Thank you, Mr. Garrett. Leave the carriage here, or take it to the inn?”
“Take it to the inn.”
Abbie arched an eyebrow at him, but turned and explained to Jacob how to find the kitchen. Would not be difficult, considering how small the place is. Once Garrett heard the carriage depart, he followed her to the parlor. Abbie silently assisted him in removing his greatcoat.
“You have a beard,” she murmured softly. “I didn’t have a chance to mention it yesterday.”
Garrett scratched his chin. “The beginnings of one. Do you like it?”
“It becomes you.”
They sat on her settee, at opposite ends. The awkwardness between them was plain, despite his declarations of love yesterday and her asking him to stay and hold her. Abbie sat ramrod straight, her hands tightly clasped on her lap. As if she was steeling herself for disappointment. Garrett would do everything in his power to ensure that did not happen.
“I love you, Abigail Wharton Hughes. From nearly the first moment that we met all those years past. It has been intense, agonizing, haunting, and heartbreaking.” He slid a little closer and, in taking her hand, laced his fingers through hers. “And I would not change or alter it but for one thing: I should have told you all this during our summer of love. It is a tragic regret I will carry the rest of my life. A youthful mistake of epic proportions. Yet the one I made while lying in my sick bed nearly equals it.” He kissed her hand and released it. “I was out of my head with fever, and having horrible nightmares of a large wolf hunting me, eager to rip my throat. I came to realize the wolf represented the curse. It is why I yelled at you, I imagine. I was trying to protect you from the wolf. The curse. After my proclamation of doing my upmost to place the curse behind me, it must have been a slice to your heart.”
Tears welled in her eyes as she nodded. “And then I departed. Again, I did not stay and fight. For all my brave talk, it turns out I’m a coward after all.”
“Perhaps it is best you returned here, for you needed time to think, as did I. A coward? No. Not in my eyes. Not ever. You came to Kent to face me. You stayed at my side when I was shot, and kept me alive through sheer courage…and love. Unfortunately, my injury has hampered me from ‘riding in and claiming you,’ but I am here, nonetheless, missing you terribly. Loving you desperately. Anxious and eager for us to share the rest of our lives.”
At his heartfelt confession, her look softened. Encouraged, Garrett moved closer to her on the settee. “As for the blasted curse, Riordan revealed a shocking revelation. Papers he found in the attic, a way for the curse to be broken. I found as he explained that I did not care how it could be broken, not anymore. All that mattered—was you. What Riordan said is true. ‘Love means taking a chance.’ I want to take that chance with you.”
Abbie’s lower lip quivered. “And when the next crisis arises, will you withdraw and push me away? For my heart cannot take it. I do not know if I am able to…to…” She sighed, her hand waving in frustration, as if she searched for the right words.
“May I finish for you?” he asked, remembering her request that he not interrupt her, for he respected Abbie far too much to do it again.
She nodded.
“Trust me?” he supplied.
“Yes, that’s it.”
“Without trust, how can there be love? But I firmly believe we can build the trust between us. Sage advice from my father: trust is something you build together with open communication. Forego blaming the other. Share your feelings. Be a reliable and steady presence.” He cupped her cheeks. “Please, allow me to prove my worth. To prove to you I am worthy of your love and your trust.” With the tips of his fingers, Garrett caressed her flushed cheeks. “You are the air that I breathe, the marrow of my bones. My very heart and soul.” His voice shook as his eyes burned. “Forgive the stubborn man, the foolish boy, and love me. Please.”
A ragged sob escaped her throat as a tear trickled down her cheek. Abbie embraced him tight, careful of his sling. He nuzzled her neck, allowing her alluring wildflower scent to fill his senses. “I will court you as you wish, do whatever it takes for you to trust me. And love me.”
“I already love you, stubborn and foolish as you were—and are. The trust will come, I know it. It has already started. No more blame. No more recriminations of the past. We will look to the future.” She kissed him hungrily, and he returned it as the heat sizzled between them as it always had. Abbie ended the kiss slowly, then gazed at him, the love shimmering in her beautiful brown eyes. “I love you, Garrett Wollstonecraft. My Scottish warrior. My dearest heart. Let us not be parted again. Ever.”