Scandal with a Sinful Scot(10)

Abbie ran to his arms. “It’s my last night here in Kent. I return home tomorrow.” The thought of her leaving tore him to pieces. But he had to remain strong in the face of temptation. Garrett pulled her close, reveling in her soft curves and heat. She was tall for a young woman, perhaps seven inches over five feet, but ideal for him. Her head fit under his chin perfectly.

The past six weeks had brought about such heights of ecstasy, but never leaving him was the fact that this could not last. The curse could not continue. When he was ten years of age he may not have cared much for his stepmother, but watching her die a horrible death after giving birth to a daughter made a decided impact on Garrett. Not fair. He didn’t dislike her. Lady Gwendolyn was polite if distant. Even kind now and then. Just not exactly…motherly.

The baby girl was named Sarah, and just when Garrett was growing attached to the tiny, mewling infant she died of a lung ailment and was buried with her mother, who’d passed away three weeks before. Standing in the family cemetery with his father and brother, gazing at the rows of tombstones, most of them women who had dared to love Wollstonecraft men or had the bad luck to be born into the family, Garrett made a life-altering decision.

He would not do as his father and brother had done. He would never love or marry. A bold declaration for a ten-year-old lad, but he’d meant the words.

Enough of the past. He was still determined never to fall in love. Not even the glorious girl in his arms would shift him from his firm belief.

He kissed Abbie. Their tongues tangled as he took the kiss deeper. Already he was hard and aching. To think that when they’d first met he was still a virgin. Oh, he had a few playful tumbles in the hay with a farm girl or two, but it never culminated in actual sex. Now, after six weeks of daily, clandestine couplings, they had both grown more confident. More ardent. God help him…more loving. The most difficult thing that he would ever do would be to say goodbye to Abbie.

Breaking the kiss, he took her hand and they scrambled into a clean, empty stall. One of the horses whickered at their proximity. The groom and the stable hands were having dinner in the servants’ quarters. They didn’t have long. Garrett closed the gate as Abbie laughed and laid on top of the straw.

There would be no time for the exploration of past encounters. No slow removal of clothes, caressing bare skin, kissing her in the sweetest of places. Instead they desperately tore at the fall of his trousers while rucking up her skirt. Garrett slipped his hand between her legs. So ready for him. Such a passionate lass. Gripping his stiff shaft, he entered her with a powerful thrust, causing her back to arch as a husky moan escaped her lips. “Shh, love. We’ll spook the horses and bring out MacAdam and the lads. We would be quite the discovery.”

She laughed throatily as she lifted her hips to meet him. For a brief, joyous moment, he imagined the two of them doing this for the rest of their lives, until they were too old and feeble. But this joining had a tinge of sadness, for it would be the last. Abbie cried out, and he quieted her by kissing her. Then his climax peaked. Garrett shook, shuddered, and held her close to his heart as they rode the wave of passion together.

After they calmed, they set their clothes to right. “When can I tell my father you will be by to see him? I know Brighton is a bit of a journey, but we have plenty of room for you and your father. The earl will accompany you, will he not? Our fathers should meet. I was thinking of a Christmas wedding. I always wanted one. To wear a white fur-trimmed cape decorated with lace and silk snowflakes.” She stared off dreamily. “Though my father is only a knight, he can well afford a decent wedding. Oh, Garrett. I cannot wait!”

He froze. Wedding? Jesus, they were only eighteen. When this began, he had honestly believed they could part as friends. Yet his feelings for her had deepened into love. It didn’t bear thinking about. He would not allow it. Not with the curse. Garrett could never reveal his true feelings, or reveal the fact he had already placed her at risk. He must protect her at all costs, even if it meant breaking their hearts in the process. It was best this way. “There will be no wedding.” He stood, fastening the last buttons on his trousers.

Abbie stared up at him incredulously. “But there must be. After what we’ve done…”

He shrugged. “No one else knows about us. And if you tell your father, I will deny it.”

Her shocked expression turned to hurt and it cut him deep. He was not cruel; he was brought up to be the opposite. “How could you?” she exclaimed.

“This was a summer dalliance, nothing more. We will never see each other again. Besides, there are many women out in the world to enjoy. You were merely one in what I imagine will be a long line. I will think of you now and then, but otherwise, not at all.” He paused. “You should thank me. The next man to get between your thighs will find you well broken in.”

Abbie jumped to her feet and slapped his face. Her hurt had turned to anger. Good. He wanted her to be furious enough to walk away. “I told you last night that I loved you; I laid my heart bare.” She searched his eyes as if looking for any sign of a decent human being. “Do you love me?”

With the question posed before him, he knew deep in his soul that he did love her, most desperately. Hurting her like this was destroying him, as if part of his soul had blackened and broke away. He rubbed his cheek, for she packed quite the wallop. But he would never marry, and after this would never allow any woman close enough to capture his heart. “No.” The denial stabbed deep and would no doubt leave a permanent scar. Garrett deserved to be damaged from this, for he never should have allowed their love affair to progress this far.

“I don’t believe you,” she said fiercely. “Not after the way you held me, loved me. Kissed me. You lie. Pushing me away will not lessen our feelings.”

“In time you will forget,” he replied dismissively. Inside, his gut was twisting into knots.

“You are a miserable beast.” She poked him in the chest; fire came alive in her lovely brown eyes. “It is because of this stupid curse you told me about, isn’t it?”

“The reason hardly matters. I do not love you. That is reason enough.” He stepped away from her. “The curse is not stupid—it is as real as you or I.”

Fury danced in her eyes. “One day you will be sorry you lied and pushed me away. You will regret denying the love that exists between us. I pity you. And I hate you.”

He had been a miserable beast. God, how magnificent she’d been, standing up to him, toe-to-toe, poking him in the chest, calling him on his lies. And he more than deserved that slap in the face.

They were lies, all of them. Garrett detested lies and liars, yet he had easily deceived Abbie; it sickened him to have done it. Moreover, he was so damned weary of lying.

He’d hurt for a good while after she’d departed for Brighton. But as with most tragic events, time had lessened the pain and made the memories fade into the haze of past regrets. He remained determined to forget her, and thought that he’d succeeded for the most part. What a fool.

The mantel clock chimed twice. Two in the morning. He couldn’t bloody well sleep. Why in hell had she appeared in his life again? She never gave him an adequate answer. To torture him? He could act as he had all those years ago: as an arrogant ninny denying what existed between them. Truthfully, he didn’t have the strength to deny his feelings. God, would he have to act out this scenario again?

Perhaps he could convince her that too much time had passed; they had changed, and were not the same green adolescents they once were. He should try to convince her to leave him in peace. But now that he’d seen her, how could he ever be at peace again?

It had crossed his mind briefly, when Alberta Eaton took possession of her late uncle’s home, that Abbie may turn up at some point. He had no idea if the women had been in contact and had no desire to inquire about it. Abbie’s appearance answered that particular question.

She had seen him in Standon? What were the odds? Could it be fate? Abbie saw it as a sign; was it possible? How could he dismiss it? For she was correct: if he believed in the curse, he surely believed in fate. Damn it all, the curse. He must remain true to his convictions and make it clear that there cannot be anything between them.

If she even came here looking to reignite their brief but intense passion. How arrogant. Perhaps she’d arrived to visit Alberta and nothing more. It would be a solid blow to his ego, but it would also be a relief.

Regardless, there would be no tranquil sleep tonight. She wished to talk. Lots to discuss. Garrett should hear her out; it was the least that he could do. He owed her that much, and more besides. Damn her for upending his quiet life. For causing his heart to beat. For making him feel. Garrett threw back the rest of his scotch, stood, and poured himself another.

It would be a long night.

Early the next morning, Garrett readied himself for a walk, hoping it would clear his head. He’d managed a couple hours of restless sleep, but it was full of heated memories and reliving over and over the horrible way in which he’d ended the most passionate episode of his life. He had no idea how to proceed here. Logic stated that he push her away a second time.