“I’m on my way, Lois. When you ask so nicely, I am quite incapable of refusing.”
*
Lois returned to the kitchen to find Derek wolfing down toast and marmalade, and Gran eating a banana and reading the newspaper.
“That was Cowgill. He’s coming over right away to investigate the reptiles.”
“I may be gone,” said Gran. “Me and Joan are catching the excursion train to Brighton. She’s got tickets. Should be a lovely day,” she added, looking out at the sun-filled garden.
“Change the date,” said Lois desperately. “You can’t ignore a police request.”
“He’s not arresting me for stealing a snake, I hope,” Gran said. “Still, you’re right, Lois. He’ll need to speak to the most senior member of the family first.”
God give me strength, thought Derek. This is worse than the Sabine women. He wasn’t sure what or who they were, but guessed that Lois and her mum would have won hands down.
*
“Good morning, Inspector,” said Gran cheerfully. “Do come in. Lois is expecting you, so you can go straight into her office. Oh, there you are, Lois dear. Here is Inspector Cowgill to see you.”
She returned to her kitchen, leaving two puzzled people staring at her.
“That’s what she’s like the whole time. It’s as if she’s become a different person,” said Lois. “Of course, it’s all an act. She used to do amateur dramatics, and always got the best parts.”
“So who is she playing right now?”
“Lady Muck, I reckon. A grand dame with a tiresome family. Removing herself from the dreary routine of everyday drudgery. She wants to look after herself, and sometimes the rest of us, as and when she chooses.”
“Sounds reasonable to me,” said Cowgill. “Anyway, we’ll talk about it later over coffee, after you’ve given me all the reptile details.”
“You heard most of it over the phone. We still haven’t told Josie about the frog on the stairs. But as far as I know, that was the last of the slimy invasion. She’s being very brave, bless her, and promising to lock up safely every evening.”
“Good. But there’s no such thing as a completely burglarproof lock. Still, as long as it deters some intruder long enough to set off the alarm.”
“I don’t think it’s a burglar. Nothing was missing, as far as we could see. No, it is a deliberate attempt to frighten our Josie. But why? Of all the people I know, she is the most unlikely to have upset somebody. Always polite and helpful with customers, and looks after the needs of the elderly and infirm in the village.”
“Ah,” said Cowgill.
“Ah, what?”
“Nothing. Just ah, that has given me an idea.”
“Share it, then.”
“Later, my dear. Not properly formulated. But there is something. Has anybody asked about the flat lately? Most of the village must know it is empty. This could be an elaborate plan to put off future tenants.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Cowgill. As if anyone would be that stupid. This is a serious emergency. We don’t want to be waiting for the next thing to find its way into the shop.”
“Very well. Here is one thing we can try. Why don’t you encourage Gran to spend a few nights in the flat to see how she likes it. She might just notice something out of kilter. Or overhear a helpful conversation, if she leaves the bedroom window open.”
“Are you out of your mind? Why would I encourage my mother to do something so possibly dangerous?”
“Because I could arrange for Matthew to be on duty overnight there. No harm would come to Gran, and if there are a few trouble-free nights, it will help Josie to have confidence that nothing more will happen. We can all put it down to a bad practical joke. We’ll find out who practised it, never fear.”
*
Lois was amazed at Gran’s reaction. Her face lit up, and she agreed straightaway. “What a good idea, Inspector,” she had said. “It’ll be a kind of dry run for when I move in permanently. And you needn’t bother about Matthew. I am quite capable of dealing with any eventuality. The shop is only a hundred yards from here, and I can alert Lois or Derek at any time. Not that I shall need to. My late husband taught me a very useful left hook!”
“Right,” said Cowgill, winking at Lois behind Gran’s back. “Shall we start tonight?”
“Fine,” said Gran. “It’ll be like a little holiday. I shall go upstairs and pack a few night things, and then Lois can come with me to make up a bed and have a dust around. It’s all rather exciting!”