Scandal:The Complete Series(58)

Act cool. Right. That’s not happening.





—eleven—


Jaxson


The look on her face tells me right away something is wrong. I regard Nate who shrugs with a guilty grin on his face.

“What happened?” I say cautiously, watching as Ella looks away from me, an icy cold taking over my lungs.

“We were downstairs,” Nate begins but Ella interrupts him.

“You carry a gun?” she says with trembling lips. “Since when? Not to mention you sure as hell seem comfortable with it.”

“It’s a gun town,” Nate says, trying to help, but I give him a deathly stare instead. He took her down into the peep huts. I’ll deal with him later.

“You saw that?” I ask Ella, brushing a finger against her cheek.

She nods and I can feel her anger diffuse a little. “We saw and heard everything,” she says. “I can’t believe you. You’re good with the gun but not with the honesty. You suck at that.”

Zero defense for that. Thanks, Nate. “Babe, Wolf’s a hot head. I couldn’t go to this meeting unprotected. He’s erratic on a good day.”

“I’m over being mad at you,” she says after a short pause. “I’m just, I don’t know, in shock, I guess. When that psycho pulled that gun, I felt so helpless, so terrified.” Tears well up in her eyes. I hate myself.

I don’t know where to take her tonight. I need to be alone with her as soon as possible, take her in my arms and calm her down and tell her it’s all going to be okay—explain to her why I do the messed up things I do. I don’t want to drive all the way to Ventura for an hour while her thoughts drift off in scary directions.

I turn to Nate. “Where are you crashing these days?”

“Say no more,” he says, handing me his keys and writing down an address. That’s solid. I might not have to throw a beat down his way now.

“Why did you do that?” Ella says, waiting until Nate leaves us alone. “Why not go to my place or yours?”

“Because,” I say. “Trust me. Nate’s place is nearby. We need to talk.”

It’s obvious she has every intention of questioning me further but gives up on the idea as soon as I kiss her lips. She’s becoming resigned, I think to myself and it’s an unbearable thought. Her whole world has been flipped a dozen times since we met.

Nate’s place is a tiny one-bedroom apartment and by the looks of it, he doesn’t spend much time here. The sink is clean, thank God, and so is the bathroom. I guess it’s all that counts. I wouldn’t want Ella to feel I took her to a dumpster of a place when she could be cozy in her own bed.

“I take it Wolf wasn’t all that helpful,” she says, observing the few secondhand books on Nate’s shelves, running her fingers along the spines.

“How much did you hear?”

“You mean besides him calling both Brad and you cunts a hundred times and then trying to shoot Brad?”

“The thing is, Wolf’s pissed at my uncle for some reason. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near him.” The truth is a funny thing. It can sound hollow as you speak it.

She nods, absentmindedly. “All right, let’s hear it. Tell me about the gun. From what I saw, you’re not just an average gun owner. You have skill.”

There’s no way around it. She needs to hear this. “I don’t know what to tell you, Ella. I was trained, that much should be obvious.”

“At Lucius’ request?”

“Yes. You have to understand, for a long time he considered me his heir. Maybe he still does, it’s hard to tell what his sick head dictates to him. But I’m not going to lie, there was a time I even liked this shit. I liked the feeling of power a gun could provide. I trained obsessively. I even became the best sharpshooter in the organization.”

“You mean like a sniper?” she says in disbelief. Her innocence breaks my heart sometimes.

“Not quite. I mean, I didn’t shoot people from rooftops. It was all on a training field.”

“Did you ever shoot anyone?” she says. I can see her fearing the answer.

“I swear, Ella, it wasn’t like that. I could never hurt anyone unless I was trying to defend myself or someone I love.”

“Good,” she says and tries to give me a real smile. I don’t deserve her forgiveness.

“It wasn’t until someone I was training with got killed that I realized I wanted nothing of that world.”

Her smile widens. “Where does this all end? Are we going to be like Bonnie and Clyde, living on the run?” she says. Her fingers move up and down my back, patting me down.