“You are awesome,” I say. “I miss you. I love the way you lie to me.”
“Chill, Rihanna,” she says. “I’m truth talking now. You’re into each other. And you need to get a taste of that hot-dog-on-a-stick. That boy is world class man flesh. I actually hate you right now.”
Okay, that wasn’t as helpful as I was hoping.
—nine—
June 26
He calls right after lunch as I sit down in my cubicle at the Daily Scandal to copy some files from my computer onto a flash drive. It’s not that I didn’t know he’d call eventually because, let’s face it, he wouldn’t have orchestrated our little naughty exploration at the strip club only to never call me again. But I wanted him to call as soon as possible—maybe that same evening after we left the club or the next morning at the latest and I wanted him to be anxious, funny and cryptic as always, and asking me to meet with him again.
I didn’t expect him to wait a whole forty-eight hours. So I answer the phone without enthusiasm. “Hey, Jax,” I say, finding that my heart is not quite on board with the calm in my voice, pumping like crazy in my chest. With every passing moment, I want him more.
“I’ll pick you up tonight,” he says. “Dress nice, really nice.”
“Just like that?” I say, getting a little bit annoyed at his confidence. Actually, thank God for his arrogance. It’s the one thing that grounds me and keeps me somewhat sane around him.
“Yes, just like that. Unless you want to say no, of course.”
Yep, he’s cornered me. He’ll probably corner me at every turn until I give him what he wants—and I wish I knew what the hell that might be.
“Fine,” I say, accepting defeat. “Is this business or fun?”
He chuckles. “Fun, I hope.”
So here’s the deal. It’s hopeless, I can’t resist him. I put my head face down on the desk as soon as we hang up, trying to level-off the dizzying roller-coaster I’ve been put through. It’s times like this, when my limitations are tested, that I’m reminded I’ve been on my own too long.
Even when living with my mother, I locked myself in my room for hours on end. It didn’t seem to bother her. She also values solitude. I never learned how to be relaxed around other people, how to fully join in their company while being myself. Even with Mia, my best friend from elementary school, I’m guarded at times.
Jaxson is beyond the shadow of a doubt the most thrilling, dynamic, sexy man I’ve ever come across and giving into him and his game could be the single, most damaging mistake of my life.
Everything I am and have been could shatter against his spectacular, but impossible to navigate coastline. He feels like an undiscovered country, savagely beautiful, yet deathly dangerous.
There will always be someone better equipped to conquer him, someone smarter, sexier or wilder. I don’t want to submit myself to the misery of always failing by comparison.
I am the unchallenged Queen of my own small world. Venture beyond that, ask for more and I’ll be left by the roadside of those dreams eventually. I have no illusions about that—it will happen. Jaxson will lose interest, be it tomorrow, a week, a month or a year from now.
The evening finds me waiting for him in my yellow chiffon dress, hair pinned up in a loose bun, my favorite crystal drop earrings and my light, bergamot perfume.
I’m not ashamed to admit I sprayed a few perfume drops on my breasts and panties. Like a good boy scout, always be prepared.
Jax arrives at the apartment on time, looking absolutely dashing in his dark blue suit and light gray shirt. His blond hair has been carefully spiked and his tanned face looks healthier and fresher than ever.
“This is ridiculous,” I say, pointing at our dressed to the nines bodies. “We look like we’re going to the opera?”
His lips part in a devilish smile. “Welcome to my world, Ella Wade,” he says, offering me his arm. I wrap my arm around his as he leads me to his car, an older Mercedes sedan. That’s as far as my knowledge of cars goes.
As Jax opens the door, I can’t help but think of Rick Esposito and what he would think if he saw me now. He didn’t take it to heart when I turned down his dinner invitation but he did repeat I should stay away from Jaxson during the investigation. So much for that.
Popping out of the car in front of the Mauve restaurant, Jax hands his keys to the valet and then leads me by the hand up the steps to one of the most expensive dining venues in the world.
We enter a huge hall with impressive chandeliers and all kinds of gourmet food splayed out on buffets. We walk past all that splendor to a smaller area where the tables are private, separated by dividers with elaborate nature paintings on them.