He squared his jaw, not answering.
It was enough.
“So do you think they’d want you to continue punishing yourself, and blaming yourself? Would they expect you to live the rest of your life alone and shut off from any emotion, because you lived and they died?” she asked, keeping her voice soft.
His nostrils flared, and he took an uneven breath. “I don’t know, but it’s what I was determined to do.” He slowly slid his hand up her side, leaving a trail of tingling skin in his wake. “What I was doing—right up until you kissed me.”
“And now?” she asked, her breath hitching in her throat.
“Now I feel too much,” he admitted, going over her shoulder, across her chest, and burying his fingers in her hair. “I’m alive again, and happy, and it’s because of you. You showed me how to live again, and I don’t want you to ever stop.”
“I won’t,” she whispered. “I promise.”
“Don’t make promises. No one ever keeps them,” he said, his voice gruff.
“I do.” She ran her thumb over his lower lip. “I will.”
“Lauren. My Lauren.”
With a grimace, he pulled her face down to his and kissed her. They’d kissed a lot of times, in lots of different ways, over the last few days. But this time felt…new.
Like maybe, just maybe, he was starting to believe in her.
And himself.
Four days later, Lauren woke up slowly with a smile on her face. After their serious conversation about him forgiving himself, they’d opted for lighter conversation. And there had been laughing. So much laughing. He fulfilled one part of his promise to her—he made her belly hurt.
And it had been glorious.
Ever since she agreed to be his, he’d been the Steven he had been before he left for war. The one who joked around and spoke openly about everything. The man she fell for so long ago, when they’d been nothing more than children, and she was falling harder and faster now, as an adult.
Being with him was like a rush. Like riding a roller coaster when it’s approaching the top of the first hill. Just as it was about to plummet down, and she was going to scream, and her stomach was about to fly up in her throat. And when it was over, she was ready to get right back on and do it again.
She rolled over and reached out for him, but the bed was empty. Her lids drifted open lazily, and she searched the room. His shoes were gone, and so were his clothes. There was a note on the pillow.
Had to go to work early this morning. I couldn’t bear to wake you after keeping you up all night, so I didn’t. I’ll see you tonight. Save me some red velvet cupcakes.
Steven
She smiled down at the writing, which was messy and scribbled at best. Next to it, he’d placed the twist tie. Their promise ring. She snatched it up, rolled out of bed, and put it back in the jewelry box.
As she closed the lid, she glanced at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, and she looked like she hadn’t slept in a week, but she was…
Really, truly, happy.
As she showered, she whistled and washed, smiling at all the sore spots she discovered. And when she got to work at ten minutes before seven, she smiled at every customer who came in a little more widely than usual. Buying this bakery had been the biggest leap of faith she ever made—up until the other night when Steven asked her to be his.
That had been an even bigger one.
But the thing about leaps was, if you landed safely on the other side, you looked over your shoulder at what you left behind on the other side, and then looked forward at the beauty of the new, undiscovered side. And then you started your life all over again.
With the person or thing you took a leap with.
And doing it with Steven had been the best decision she ever made.
At six o’clock on the nose, her phone dinged. It was a text from Steven. Her heart accelerated. When she read it, she laughed out loud.
I need some sugar, baby.
Red velvet, right?
His reply was immediate.
I meant you, but sure. That works, too. I’ll take both. I’m greedy like that.
She laughed.
Ha. You’re funny.
The bubble with three dots popped up instantly.
Are you gonna leave me standing out here all night long, or are you gonna let me in?
She lifted her head. Sure enough, waiting on the opposite side of the locked glass door was Steven.
Oh. Hi.
He held up a bouquet of red roses.
Let me in?
Maybe…
He crossed his arms and smirked at her.
Grinning, she opened the door and he came inside. “Before you get any ideas, I already cleaned up for the night. So no hanky-panky on the counter.”
“Hanky-panky?” he said, laughing. And that laugh? Yeah, it did things to her heart. Dangerous things. If only she could spend the rest of her life making him laugh like that. “Did you seriously just use that in a sentence?”